Tipping at restaurants

[Wildgoose84]

Hello, longtime lurker but never felt the need to get a general consensus on anything before…. But I want to do the right thing! So, folks, your thoughts please!
Husband, toddler and I went out for tea tonight, pub/restaurant. Great food, nice atmosphere but really excellent service. Bill came to £65ish and when waitress came to take card payment I asked if I could add a tip on. She very openly said it was not worth it as it got split between all staff and taxed. So I paid the bill and had a discussion with husband over tip. I would usually plump for 10% cash but very very embarrassingly we only had £3 cash on us. I apologised and told her she made the meal! So… in these covid times, almost cashless and people getting minimum wage, not even living wage. What % is reasonable??? Having never worked in hospitality I am never sure I’m getting it right. What do we do when I want to tip a particular sever?? I feel like some kind of social fool! Help.

I don't ever tip unless in a very high end restaurant.
We do round up the cost of the meal. Eg £47 = £50.
People should be paid a living wage and by us adopting American practices we aren't forcing the government to enforce said living wage.

Everywhere does it differently, see. I used to work in a place where the card tips and cash tips were dealt with equally; divided by the amount of people who worked that night and then given out equally. Yes, card tips were taxed, but we all actually preferred card tips over cash as it made our wages seem higher when we got paid (although we were technically worse off that way).

I find it odd that your waitress says a card tip wasn't worth it because "it got split between all staff and taxed" - I understand the tax part, but cash tips should be split between all staff anyway. Unless by 'all staff' she means literally all staff, including those who were off that day.

IMO, tips aren't essential as everyone should be paid a decent wage (often people aren't, but that's a different issue). It's just a perk of the job if a tip is received - most jobs have perks, this is a perk of restaurant jobs! I think they should be divided equally between all who worked that shift. Waiting staff, bar staff, kitchen porters/the washers up, and chefs. Head chefs are often on a decent salary yes but should still be included. Sous/commis/line cooks are quite often on a pretty low (often similar to service staff) hourly rate.

Just adding that I don't think there is a certain % you are meant to do. Classically it's 10% but most people just leave £10-20 in my experience, just whatever they have on them and whatever they think the food/service deserves.

I can understand wanting to tip an individual person but realistically if the person receiving that is a fair worker, and there are fair systems in place, it really should be divided between working staff. I know you said she made the meal, but so many other people worked to ensure you had a nice evening. You may not see the girl working hard to polish your glasses or the guy cleaning your plates but it all adds into the experience!

I never leave a %, I leave what I want, sometimes that is nothing. Tips aren't compulsory. My friend never leaves on as she says they are paid an hourly rate to do a job same as anyone else.

If I have a £60 meal I don't leave a £6 tip, but I might leave £3 if the waiter was nice and friendly.

Nobody should ever be made to feel bad about not leaving a tip.

Tips should be split between all staff, people often think it is just the waiting staff who do all the work, but there is always the chef and the dish washing staff etc who work just as hard so that you can enjoy your meal. The waiters often have the easy job of just carrying a plate to the table, depending on where you work. (I have been both waitress and bar maid in the past and as a waitress I prepped the plates for the meals, carried everything out and then washed the dishes, but larger places will have lots more staff than just 1 waitress).

He's 19 @Graphista
He was the KP 18 months ago but began helping on starters/desserts then covering mains when they were running behind,... and it just sort of grew from there. He was more organised than the existing head chef and took over stock ordering. I know they're not true chefs but they do cook, (250 covers booked in today, country pub) and bugger all staff. I certainly couldn't do it. The stress alone would make me explode!
I've talked to him until I'm blue in the face. But with the hours/bonus' and tips (for those who do ) he pulls in a good wage. He just looks kinda green. And thin.

@Mykidshave4legs while your principles are admirable your practice is not. Staff in higher level establishments are generally better paid. The ones in low level establishments are more often on nmw - or even less! The hospitality industry is notorious for this

Not tipping sends 0 message to govt but a loud and clear one to your server - and believe me when I say if you have regular places you go to and don't tip? Well I wouldn't be going back if I were you!

To change it at a govt level it has to be tackled at a govt level

How you vote
How you answer any govt surveys
What you tell canvassers at election time (I LOVE doing this kinda thing. It's rather fun hitting them with a load of questions they either can't answer or not to my satisfaction)
Contact your Mp and tell them how you feel
Contact local councillors and tell them (they're the ones should be monitoring local adherence to pay and conditions legislation, they generally know who the shitty employers in their area are)

Any employers you know aren't paying nmw report to hmrc

www.gov.uk/government/publications/pay-and-work-rights-complaints

I've done so on several occasions when I've become aware of such incidents

It's the only way it will change

@HumourReplacementTherapy I hear you on the "till I'm blue in the face" I've had similar with dd, now she's 20 and very hot on being treated fairly! Having learned (as sadly most of us do) the hard way.

She started off as a newspaper lass, then taking orders in a takeaway, then working in a supermarket...

The takeaway was the best of the lot! Family business and really took care of her, treated her like one of the family. The supermarket were JUST this side of the law but skated damn thin at times and I wouldn't have put up with the crap she did!

But yes it's very hard to get through to them that we have more life experience and have been through similar and actually yes on this we DO know better

I often got "but it's different now" not that bloody different!

Well at least they're grafters @Graphista

There’s a lot of talk here about ‘great service’ . How often do we honestly get great service? Very rarely in my experience.

@BirdsandBeesmakinghay

There’s a lot of talk here about ‘great service’ . How often do we honestly get great service? Very rarely in my experience.

You've clearly not been to my restaurant

I call it tea. I'm from the Midlands and my DS both argue with me and say its dinner (both born in the south!).

As for tipping, I worked in a service industry about 30yrs ago and we were never tipped.

Thanks everyone. I think I will continue to tip in restaurants. I think I’ll bin off the % though and just a flat rate. Think I’ll specially ask waiting staff how their tips are dealt with as it seems there are different rules everywhere. Some food for thought about who the tip should go to. In any case, I think the hospitality industry mostly are great and need us all to chip in a bit from time to time. Thanks everyone..

@HumourReplacementTherapy true - which unfortunately means certainly in dds case she's always the one expected to cover the slackers work!

@BirdsandBeesmakinghay define poor service and great service in your opinion? Either you've crazy high standards or you're frequenting places with poor service. If I go somewhere and the service is poor I don't go back. If the service is great extra tip

[quote Wildgoose84]@Maireas.. sorry wasn’t, clear it was dinner/evening meal.

@BedknobsNoBroomsticks… interesting point. Can I ask what service you work in that you don’t get tipped for?[/quote]
Any retail store, staff give good service but no one tips them at point of sale

I was a waitress in the 1980s and tipping was the norm then. A typical bill for a couple (it was a cafe) was about £3.50, and many people would tip 20 or 30 pence, so just under 10%.

[quote Graphista]@HumourReplacementTherapy true - which unfortunately means certainly in dds case she's always the one expected to cover the slackers work!

@BirdsandBeesmakinghay define poor service and great service in your opinion? Either you've crazy high standards or you're frequenting places with poor service. If I go somewhere and the service is poor I don't go back. If the service is great extra tip

[/quote]
Great service for me would be something above and beyond just doing what is expected . There are lots of people on minimum wage in other jobs who try their best but they don’t get tips. Why restaurant staff are an exception I have never understood. I have been a waitress and worked in a bar by the way.

My daughter is a waitress. She gets minimum wage which is £4.62 as she's under 18. All tips get shared between all staff (via pay slips) - both those on card and those in cash. They are shared pro rata based on hours worked that week. Sometimes people have given her £20 cash and told her not to share it, it's just for her. But she says thank you then puts it in the jar to share. The most she's had in tips is about £30 a week (when she's worked 25+ hours) and the least is 90p which she got the first week places were allowed to open outdoors! She is grateful for tips as it makes a big difference to her even done this way. She would be upset at another waitress saying not to bother as it's shared and taxed!

I've stopped doing it. For our family of 4 adults, even in a fairly ordinary restaurant the bill will be £100. We're there for not much more than an hour and the waiter will have maybe half a dozen other tables in that time. Surely no one thinks all of those people should be leaving £10? £50/60 per hour? And if they do why on earth should it be cash and tax free? In OP's example, I'd prefer to do it so it's shared among staff and they pay tax, if I was going to do it at all.

I struggle all round with tipping and generally don't. Lots of low paid (and not so low paid) people give me service. Why tip a taxi driver but not a bus driver, a hairdresser but not a bank clerk, a waiter but not a shop assistant etc etc ?

@AutoGroup

I've stopped doing it. For our family of 4 adults, even in a fairly ordinary restaurant the bill will be £100. We're there for not much more than an hour and the waiter will have maybe half a dozen other tables in that time. Surely no one thinks all of those people should be leaving £10? £50/60 per hour? And if they do why on earth should it be cash and tax free? In OP's example, I'd prefer to do it so it's shared among staff and they pay tax, if I was going to do it at all.

I struggle all round with tipping and generally don't. Lots of low paid (and not so low paid) people give me service. Why tip a taxi driver but not a bus driver, a hairdresser but not a bank clerk, a waiter but not a shop assistant etc etc ?

My thoughts exactly.

I always remove the service charge from a bill and tip cash to whoever has served me

I don't get the 'it's an American thing'. I've been a waitress and a barmaid over 40 years ago and tips were the norm then. Thank goodness. I always tip if the service is good.

@FleetwoodRaincoat

I was a waitress in the 1980s and tipping was the norm then. A typical bill for a couple (it was a cafe) was about £3.50, and many people would tip 20 or 30 pence, so just under 10%.

I was 90's but 20p under the saucer was the normal. Cute. And much appreciated!

If I pay on a card then I add a 10% tip to it. If I pay cash then this is often at the counter when I order then sit down and food brought over - if I've got change I'll leave some on the table, if not then I don't leave a tip. I never put anything in a tips jar when I've queued to order and collect my own coffee/food. A bit random, I know.

I would tip 10% in cash.

I agree "above and beyond" is great service. What about poor service though?

In my case poor service is:

Getting orders wrong
Not apologising for mistakes
Snarky attitude
Trying to blame customer for mistakes
Taking umbrage if a complaint made

Great service is:

Providing a more personalised service than is required
Adjusting orders easily
Having a swift and efficient approach
Having a great friendly attitude that doesn't tip over into Pollyanna levels
Rectifying any issues quickly and politely

I work in a very well known family orientated chain restaurant. We get to keep our own tips both cash and card. I don't agree with everything being shared out equally because then the lazy servers make money off the hard working ones. And kitchen staff are all paid more than waiting staff, they generally get more hours if they want them too.
All the people saying don't tip - it's completely your choice but tips are left for good service. Other jobs may well be minimum wage but we are literally catering to your every whim don't be so god damn stingy. If you can't afford it fair enough but a quid or two on he table won't hurt anybody.