Fortnite, is it that bad?

[ilovetomatoes]

Just had yet another tearful exchange with my 9 year old about Fortnite. He discovered today his cousin, who is the same age, has it. Help me understand if I’m being harsh or I should stand my ground. Advice welcome please. I can’t cope with days and days of side eye, stomping and moodiness.

Fortnite was picked out.

Not FIFA, not all the other shooting games.

Fortnite was specifically picked out as being not good for young children.

It is a competitive game that is hugely exciting.
I remember they widly excited screaming and the upset getting him off.

By all means make a comparison with stamp collecting and reading and excercise 🤷🏻‍♀️

The OP is asking about a 9 year old boy and I would think that she should look carefully before bringing such a controversial game into the house for such a young child.
It makes many children cranky after it and my son was about 15 playing it.

I certainly never saw the crankiness from my son with games before or since.

Proceed with care.
I think once you bringbit in for such a young child you could have a lot of battles in the house, particularly if they have pals on it a lot.
Good luck.

I’m surprised by people saying that ‘all of Y3’ have it. DS1 is Y3 and loves gaming (plays on the Switch with DH mainly) and hasn’t mentioned it. Which suggests it’s not a thing in his year. Minecraft, absolutely (they play the teaching version at school in IT) but not Fortnite. We’ve had warning letters from the school that it’s a 12 for a reason and it concerns them if the DC are playing it.

Judging by the response you have had, then no should be the answer. You need to be harsh about this and very strict on any complaints even though it will be difficult, as this will save a lot of grief later.

We allowed it last year during lockdown as my DCs best friends play it (9 and 11) so it was to help them keep in touch. I hated it as the younger one's behaviour definitely deteriorated. It will not be allowed back in our house for a long time, but they are allowed to play it if they visit friends/ family.
A lot of kids in year 3 played it, most kids in y4 seem to play it. But it's not for us.

Mine are 9 and 13 and play it. It is addictive and when they get killed you would think the world has ended so be prepared to have murderous screams of NOOOOO and HOWWWWW YOU BOT 😕. It's also like having a virtual child running round that you have to dress (at £20 a pop) and they also needs a pickaxe, a pet, a backpack for pet to sit in oh and a REEEEEEALLY cool dance 😧 which does NOTHING at all to make you play better.

Fortnite has been specifically picked out as a problem game for young children.

This is not about gaming.

I have had a PS for years.

All 4 of my kids played, the girls too.
They adored Minecraft/ Rocket league, Call of duty, walking dead, Assassins Creed.

But Fortnite was a different game and the reaction to it was different.

Their upset was different.

As I wrote he was monitored for how much he was on it but clearly it was an issue in his friends homes because he suddenly stopped playing as a couple weren't allowed.

Talk to other parents but 9 seems very young to me.

I agree that fortnight is something very different than just gaming like the other games they play. It’s deliberately designed to keep them on the game, the group play stuff particularly. Which is obviously what most of them want to do as it’s their friends playing and they want to be part of the team and not be left out of the conversation in school the next day. Trouble starts when it’s dinner time right in the middle of a group mission or whatever they’re called. They can’t leave the game as they all have their specific roles and if one doesn’t do it they’ll lose the game. And their friends will blame them. No kid wants that just so they can eat their veg. I never had this issue with any other games they played.

As an adult who plays it , I think its OK if you are monitoring your child on it , not allowing them to play with randoms . Some of the most foul mouthed language and abuse I've ever received has been from little kids on the game. I've had them threaten to rape or kill me if i don't revive them or give them any weapons or bullets. Honestly vile little shits ruin the game for others and there is a large number of adults who play and they will all have had similar experiences.

@romdowa

As an adult who plays it , I think its OK if you are monitoring your child on it , not allowing them to play with randoms . Some of the most foul mouthed language and abuse I've ever received has been from little kids on the game. I've had them threaten to rape or kill me if i don't revive them or give them any weapons or bullets. Honestly vile little shits ruin the game for others and there is a large number of adults who play and they will all have had similar experiences.

Wow.

Hopefully this is enough to convince any parent not to allow their child to use this “game”.

It's actually shocking the way small children speak on this game and I'm talking kids between 5-9/10. Most adults just mute any kids they hear now but there will be adults and teenagers who will return the abuse. It shocks me that so many parents allow their children to speak to strangers on the Internet at all, never mind come out with that abuse. Not to mention the small kids online at 1 and 2 am. Like any technology parents need to experience it for themselves and have rules.

My 11yo plays it and my 15yo used to. I was really hesitant at first, but actually we haven't had any problems with behaviour, addiction etc. Neither of them have had a penny to spend on v bucks, and they don't nag for that either.

I guess it depends on the child.

My SCs - 11 and 7 - have it and play regularly.

I agree that the only thing to keep an eye on is that it can become a bit addictive and also they will always be wanting money for V Bucks to buy new skins, so it can get expensive if you allow that.

We are really strict about them only playing with their friends, not random internet strangers.

My y3 plays it, as he's pretty good with distinguishing between real and not real we were happy to have fortnite as a social crutch throughout lockdown. My nephew is more literally minded and he wouldn't be able to play.

Few things we found helped:

• watching him play and choosing skins was appreciated by him and helped initiate conversations about safety online. He often asks me to watch him play and likes showing me things in the game
• he often played with friends in private worlds just building, exploring, chatting and generally hanging out
• he can only play if homework is up to date
• he can earn v-bucks with household chores (got very good at cleaning the bathroom)
• we give him a five minute warning for his dinner and he generally sticks to it as we'll ban the PlayStation if he's moody or sulky
• he did once steal some vbucks from his dads account. He chose to ban himself from fortnite for two weeks and to pay his dad back as punishment. Took this very seriously and made us get really strict with settings.
• no fortnite before school

It was really important during lockdown but now he's more in to his sports outside of school.

My grandson played Fortnite and for a while he seemed to be getting addicted and wanting to play to the exclusion of everything else. My DD (his mum) worried about him becoming a gaming addict etc. Etc. The advantage seemed to be the social interaction with his friends. This was when he was aged 9 or 10. He’s now a happy healthy 12 yr old who never mentions Fortnite except to say it’s for babies!! He much prefers cycling, meeting friends at the local park. He has a PS but it doesn’t dominate his life. Looking back, Fortnite ran its course and he outgrew it as have all his peers.

I would add. My DD imposed strict limits on the time he was allowed to play. He was only allowed to chat to friends. Vbucks had to be “earned” and he was made very aware of internet safety.

Just wondering when people say I t isn't graphic, whenever I've look for clips on YouTube it's full of people being shot - isn't that graphic? Or is there a big part of the game where the gameplay is something non-shooty? My two don't play computer games really bit do love a bit of Netflix.

It's ok, but you need to turn off chat with strangers and need to supervise. Most gaming is ok with supervision and sometimes not using all the game eg my nephew likes red dead redemption but he thinks you just ride a horse!

Depends on the kid. My 9 year old got obsessed with it last year, it seriously affected his behaviour and mental health so it is now banned, as are all games with in-game spending which is designed to hook you in. We have always limited game time but I couldn't believe how quickly Fortnite pulled him in despite fairly strict time limits and only having games at the weekend. It's a hard no frome now, I wish we'd never allowed him to play it.

@Nonmaquillee

So you never watch tv, movies, or do any activity just for fun?

Gaming is no better or worse than other leisure options. Claiming it's a waste of your life is ignorant, it's not, it's a leisure choice. As long as school work is done and other activities are on offer, spending time on the gaming system is no different to us as kids watching tv ...

It's fine! It's cartoonish. You run around trying to build towers and other structures, collect stuff and shoot opponents.
My 9yo has had it for years. Its less violent than a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

@Luzina

If you are ultra clear about when he can play it, for how long etc then IMO it’s no more addictive than lots of video games. Depends on your child if he can handle boundaries around it or not

I agree with this.

I keep my kids on their toes when it comes to gaming, screen time etc. I retain the power to tell them to turn it off at any given time, no reason except I want them off it. They aren't allowed to argue. (Though I'm not a total unreasonable arse, I'll allow a few minutes for them to finish their current match or get to the next save point. If they ever try to go on to another round that's it, all computer privileges are gone.) start out strong and keep the control and it shouldn't become an issue.

Not sure I'd be okay giving into a moody, rude child though.

I think the issue with any activity, fortnite included, is the parents ability to curtail excessive time spent doing it. When you say they've had enough time doing something, it's important you stick to your guns and the child knows badgering you won't work. If you aren't able to do that, I don't think fortnite's for you or your DS.

@Polkadots2021

Just wondering when people say I t isn't graphic, whenever I've look for clips on YouTube it's full of people being shot - isn't that graphic? Or is there a big part of the game where the gameplay is something non-shooty? My two don't play computer games really bit do love a bit of Netflix.

No it's more like cartoon violence. There's no blood.

Ah I see...any shooting game is going to raise testosterone repeatedly. I assume it's very goal focused?-as goal focus raises testosterone further. That might help explain why it is addictive. There are lots of things that get the dopamine going but it's an interesting difference that Fortnite clearly target testosterone spikes too. That would also explain anger and behaviour change in some kids if they are told to suddenly stop playing.

Might also explain why some kids get aggressive and some others seem ok, as we all differ a lot in natural base Testosterone levels and reactive Testosterone levels (if your kids are high in both or the last one they'd get set off quicker by shooting games etc).

Not trying to say play or don't play, just an interesting insight (we use basal and reactive T concepts in gym programs).