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Original poster

Fortnite, is it that bad?

77 replies

ilovetomatoes · 13/06/2021 20:44

Just had yet another tearful exchange with my 9 year old about Fortnite. He discovered today his cousin, who is the same age, has it. Help me understand if I’m being harsh or I should stand my ground. Advice welcome please. I can’t cope with days and days of side eye, stomping and moodiness.

OP posts:
turtlesanddragons · 13/06/2021 21:36

Absolutely fine for a 9 year old. Mine iis in year 3 and pretty much the whole class has it.

turtlesanddragons · 13/06/2021 21:38

I will say though have ground rules on how long they have a day and stick to it.

ForbiddenAppleEatingShits · 13/06/2021 21:40

Fort it's itself isn't graphic but like many games with consumable in app purchases, they're designed to be addictive and to make you want to spend money buying shite.

Some kids can play this game and be totally fine, no moods or tantrums or sneakily spending money, a lot of kids though, are given access to the game before being emotionally mature enough to navigate the addictive play element and combine that with parents who let their kids play all day and often supervised it's a recipe for disaster. Or have parents who remove prenatal safety settings to allow a child to install and play higher age rates glands then complain that a fortune has been spent without their knowledge and blame the game or the console.

The 12 age rating is there for a reason and it's not always because of the graphics, the fact your child is throwing moods because he's been told no suggest he isn't emotionally mature to be playing a game with addictive mechanisms in. If I've said no to anything and then they were disrespectful there's not a chance I'd change my mind but even more so with something like this because he's just learning that when you expect him to follow YOUR rules around this game that he can be rude and disrespectful and you'll give in and follow his cousin's parents choices instead.

You can see gameplay of most games on YouTube btw for an idea of what it's like.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Video games
TheMoth · 13/06/2021 21:42

Is fine. Ds was 9. Had a couple of tantrums initially, over having to come off. But quickly learned that tantrum = time off xbox and quickly capitulated. It was a godsend during lockdown.

Apparently Apex is better now, but he does slip back to it if his mates are on.

I got v twitchy about v bucks etc, but it was pointed out to me that we spent our money on shit at that age too. And actually, virtual shit doesn't clog my house up. Not only that, but I pay for virtual music each month.

Morgan12 · 13/06/2021 21:43

Its fine.

And most of his friends will have it so he will be missing out on the social side of it.

NationMcKinley · 13/06/2021 21:43

My now 13 year old had it when he was in the middle of year 6 and all his friends had it. We lasted about a month before we got rid of it. Mood swings, aggression, constant demands to play it. It was dreadful. Never again. He still plays Minecraft and FIFA but we never have any issues like we did when he had fortnite. His younger brother is now coming to the end of year 6 and has asked quite a few times to play it. NOT. A. CHANCE.

gamerchick · 13/06/2021 21:44

It's banned in my house. Total personality and behaviour change, he was relieved when I banned it I think.

Never again.

NationMcKinley · 13/06/2021 21:48

@gamerchick YES! I’d totally agree with that. I think DS1 was weirdly relieved too. Once we’d made the decision we braced ourselves for the inevitable tantrums and moaning. Literally none. Not once did he ask for it back. And he’s generally a pretty persistent child……..Grin

pinkcattydude · 13/06/2021 21:49

Can be some can cope with it and use it to stay in touch with friends too. But as mentioned some children really can’t cope with it. I personally play it and enjoy it and I like the short games. However if DS started to act out of character whilst playing it. We would stop it immediately. I take it as a good sign that he will even come off mid game without issue. As for v bucks pocket money.

Doodledoop · 13/06/2021 22:04

Agree with everyone here - issue is addictiveness. My 10yo toggles between fortnite/ minecraft/ roblox depending on who he is playing with online and the social side has been a lifeline in lockdown.

He will play all day if we don't enforce hard boundaries, so we do.

Still rather meet his friends in real life if thats on offer but other solitary pursuits - lego/ drawing/ reading not a chance!

I view the v-bucks and robux like pannini cards or match attax generally pointless and quite expensive collecting. He gets £2 pocket money which goes into a virtual account so he is aware how much he has spent in a year.

Original poster
ilovetomatoes · 13/06/2021 22:26

Thanks all. This is so helpful. I’m not worried about the content it is exactly as you described, the addiction.

He plays minecraft, fifa and Mario kart online with close friends and we monitor that. He started playing Roblox last summer and the constant demands for Robux resulted in us taking that away from him.

I’m not going to to give in, I just want to form a good argument in my head to explain to him why he can’t have it. And these comments are extremely helpful. He’s definitely not mature enough to handle it, I will remain firm.

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 13/06/2021 22:27

When he is older, call of duty warzone, way better.

WouldBeGood · 13/06/2021 22:38

It’s great.

ifyougetthechancedoit · 13/06/2021 22:58

It seems to affect different kids differently. My DS12 gets much less stressed about Fortnite than most other games. The short form of it seems to suit him. He's also good at self-regulating so doesn't play for too long.

However, I know some children (like some up

ifyougetthechancedoit · 13/06/2021 22:59

Oops. Was going to say some kids seem much worse affected. Plus my DS wasn't allowed it until he was 12.

Iggi999 · 13/06/2021 22:59

Well if you allow him to have it you can take it away if his behaviour changes. At the moment you aren't allowing it based on the belief that he will become addicted. But he hasn't.
Have you spoken to him about why he wants it? Does everyone at school talk about playing and he is left out? I would place restrictions on it rather than ban, by the time you think he's old enough none will play it anymore.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 13/06/2021 23:16

@ilovetomatoes

Thanks all. This is so helpful. I’m not worried about the content it is exactly as you described, the addiction.

He plays minecraft, fifa and Mario kart online with close friends and we monitor that. He started playing Roblox last summer and the constant demands for Robux resulted in us taking that away from him.

I’m not going to to give in, I just want to form a good argument in my head to explain to him why he can’t have it. And these comments are extremely helpful. He’s definitely not mature enough to handle it, I will remain firm.

If he's already gone down the road of pestering, strops, arguments over games then you need to stand your ground. My son's autism makes him aggressive and violent, particularly around gaming. He's older than your and has got to the point where I will seriously dump him with Social Services if he carries on pestering about getting a games console because it's a total no go or throw him out once he's 16 and I mean that. My older daughter's life was destroyed by his outbursts with them and she deserves more than that again.
Nonmaquillee · 13/06/2021 23:19

Don’t do it. Get him interested in other things so he can become an interesting individual. My teen DDs say that some of their male friends only ever talk about gaming and it’s as boring as hell. IMO it’s a complete waste of your life.

billy1966 · 13/06/2021 23:40

Highly addictive.
It was a game that my 16 year old played but one of the parents banned it so they moved on.
We were very strict about the time but he was cranky to get off.

I heard some expert of something saying that Fortnite was a shocker for childen because it stimulates the part of the brain that gambling lights up.
Really bad for kids.

Delighted it has been played for years her but my younger son did love it for a while.

I wouldn't go there yet if you can avoid.

NiceGerbil · 14/06/2021 01:08

I question the highly addictive thing.

I think plenty of people esp children are obsessive.

My parents used to complain that I would read all day every day.

When I got my spectrum I played manic miner for hours and hours.

My brother would draw and draw and draw. For hours. And Lego. Dawn till dusk.

None of this is new surely?

I saw a thing in a book from 1800s where a parent was bemoaning a child staying indoors and reading all the time. And it couldn't be healthy or good for eyesight. They should go out and play...

NiceGerbil · 14/06/2021 01:17

'I heard some expert of something saying that Fortnite was a shocker for childen because it stimulates the part of the brain that gambling lights up.'

Loads of stuff does this. How much impact depends on the individual.

Exercise can be very addictive.
For example.

Anything that releases endorphins, hits that reward brain spot.

Spending/ shipping
Exercise- running cycling weights etc
Arranging stamp collections
Anything can become addictive or prompt obsessive behaviours

Fortnight is just a game.

My kids went more mad for Minecraft/ Sims.

I used to play world of Warcraft incessantly.

I have friends who follow football obsessively, spend all their free time playing certain board games. Or are obsessed with work.

A lot of my friends have sons who play games with headsets on with their friends. For hours.

They're taking to friends- socialising. They are planning and strategising. They are learning teamwork.

And children that age have always been obsessive.

For me it's.

Is there a risk of grooming by randoms
Does the content contain things that I personally can't stand (strippers/ rape etc for me).

If not. Then ok.

This conversation has been going on amongst parents forever.

Morgan12 · 14/06/2021 07:57

@Nonmaquillee

Don’t do it. Get him interested in other things so he can become an interesting individual. My teen DDs say that some of their male friends only ever talk about gaming and it’s as boring as hell. IMO it’s a complete waste of your life.
My son is a gamer and has quite a large following on YouTube and Twitch by playing fortnite and minecraft. He's making some money already. He's in contact with a few of the members of Faze Clan. One of whom won the fortnite World Cup at age 15 and won over a million dollars.

He is extremely interesting thanks and certainly not wasting his life.

Ylvamoon · 14/06/2021 08:08

Wow - this thread is a real eye opener.

Make sure your DS has his own child login on the console. From there you can set screen time and spending limits.

So far it's working well in my house, we do have some temper tantrums once in a while over screen time limits.

Money wise, he has pocket money and it's his choice how to spend it.

scaredsadandstuck · 14/06/2021 08:11

@Nonmaquillee

Don’t do it. Get him interested in other things so he can become an interesting individual. My teen DDs say that some of their male friends only ever talk about gaming and it’s as boring as hell. IMO it’s a complete waste of your life.
Hmm not really wasting their lives. Gaming is, and has been, we recognised sub culture that attracts people from all walks of life. Lots of people get a huge amount of enjoyment and satisfaction from it. The skill of a good gamer is awesome! The gaming industry is huge and lots of people have fascinating and fulfilling careers designing, coding and marketing games.

Teenage boys are a bit boring but I'm sure your daughter would be equally bored if all they talked about was football (or whatever else they were obsessed with). It's not the fault of gaming per se.

scaredsadandstuck · 14/06/2021 08:17

@billy1966

Highly addictive. It was a game that my 16 year old played but one of the parents banned it so they moved on. We were very strict about the time but he was cranky to get off.

I heard some expert of something saying that Fortnite was a shocker for childen because it stimulates the part of the brain that gambling lights up.
Really bad for kids.

Delighted it has been played for years her but my younger son did love it for a while.

I wouldn't go there yet if you can avoid.

Agree with @NiceGerbil - this is a common scare tactic used against parents (lights up the brain the same as cocaine does etc etc). Well of course it does because kids who love gaming get pleasure from it. If you did a brain scan of a Lego obsessed kid kid getting a new set it would probably look the same, or a kid winning a football match. I've seen kids rage over Lego and Football, just as I've seen them rage over gaming.