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Original poster

I feel really bad. DH teeth

53 replies

GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 12:51

DH has had issues with his back teeth for years. He needs to go to the dental hospital but he's scared. Really scared of the dentist.

I've just had to do a covid test on him and saw his back teeth for the first time in maybe 10 years.

He said "please don't look at my teeth" Sad

But they are rotten. Gone. Nothing that just black holes and it made me feel really sick and now I'm thinking about when I kiss him and stuff.

Please don't judge me and think I'm horrible it's just really bad. I said he should go dentist and he got upset saying I asked you not to look and you bring it up straight away.

He must be in so much pain :(

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 12/06/2021 12:58

Does he clean them?.

overwork · 12/06/2021 13:00

I had really similar with an ex. Genuine shaking terror of the dentist, but oh god his teeth. When they hurt he used to sit up all night self medicating with a sips of whisky.

We spilt up for many reasons but I certainly wasn't upset to never have to see them again.
No idea what to suggest.

Gingernaut · 12/06/2021 13:01

Not just pain, they're an infection risk.

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General health
Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 13:11

Fluffy there's nothing to brush. It's his wisdom teeth. There's nothing above the gum. Just the rotten stumps.

His front teeth are fine. It's because they are impacted wisdom teeth and cracked off because of the pressure against his other teeth

OP posts:
mybrainhertz · 12/06/2021 13:16

Poor soul. He'll feel better once they're sorted out. They'll give him anaesthetic.

Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 13:24

He went to get a blood test a few months ago and fainted. It's the needles.
He passed out hard.

Hes terrified. I don't know how to broach the subject without upsetting him.

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 13:24

Actually his front teeth are discoloured from smoking but I can't say anything about that either.

OP posts:
viques · 12/06/2021 13:26

@Gingernaut

Not just pain, they're an infection risk.
True.

Tooth infections get into the bloodstream, you are nearly three times more likely to have issues with your heart if you have rotten teeth. Kidneys too can be damaged.

Bumblebee413 · 12/06/2021 13:26

I think there are dentists specifically for people who are scared. There might be some in your area?

StepawayfromtheBiscuittin · 12/06/2021 13:28

Better that you know.
Better that he gets them out too.
I had mine out last year. They were not in good shape as impacted and impossible to clean all of them.
One op under general anaesthetic and all gone. I feel much better.
I'm not as bad as your DP but I do have a fear of dentists but eventually I thought if I don't tackle this now it will be a problem later in life. Issues with teeth can cause other health problems too.

Sit down calmly with him and tell him you will support him in getting this fixed for his own sake and his wider health.

Squidlydoo · 12/06/2021 13:30

My husband travels to the other end of our city for the dentist as he has a sever phobia (didn’t go to the dentist for years and years!!). We found one that specialises in patients with fear (not sure what proper terminology is?).

Maybe help him find one similar in your area and offer to attend with him.

My husband still hates it but likes the dentist so the fear has somewhat subsided

Awomanwalksintoabar · 12/06/2021 13:31

My brother has been in hospital for 2 weeks now, with a lung infection that the doctors reckon originated in an infected tooth he had removed a few months ago. He’s been really ill. Please impress on your DH that it’s not just about his teeth.

SiobhanSharpe · 12/06/2021 13:33

He could ask his GP for some diazepam to alleviate his anxiety before going to the dentist.

I've also found that many dentists are expert at concealing the needle as it approaches your mouth! And it's true that some do specialise in treating very anxious patients.

Clarice99 · 12/06/2021 13:37

Completely missing the point, but how on earth do you kiss him? With teeth that bad he must have halitosis Envy - not envy!

Poor dental hygiene, decaying teeth, gum disease can cause other health problems.

He can ask his GP for Diazepam due to dental phobia and there are dentists who sedate patients with phobias of dentists, needles etc. It's a case of shopping around to find a dentist who does this.

babbaloushka · 12/06/2021 13:39

Get him to a specialist phobia dentist, he's at risk for more serious complications. What's his oral hygiene like in general? Does he actively take care of them? Usually with such serious decay the breath will smell too.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 12/06/2021 13:42

He needs to have them removed under general.

Frownette · 12/06/2021 13:42

How old is he? Can you afford dental treatment? You're going to have to gently coax him in

Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 13:42

@Clarice99

Completely missing the point, but how on earth do you kiss him? With teeth that bad he must have halitosis Envy - not envy!

Poor dental hygiene, decaying teeth, gum disease can cause other health problems.

He can ask his GP for Diazepam due to dental phobia and there are dentists who sedate patients with phobias of dentists, needles etc. It's a case of shopping around to find a dentist who does this.

He's actually fastidious with brushing and mouthwash because of it. He's never had smelly breath. Genuinely.
OP posts:
Notaroadrunner · 12/06/2021 13:44

I don't think I'd be pussyfooting around this issue. Be very firm that he has to go as his health is at risk. He should get an initial assessment where the dentist will just check to see what needs to be done. He can then get a mild sedative prescribed to take before he goes in for treatment - someone has to bring him and collect him.

cariadlet · 12/06/2021 13:51

I have lost some teeth because of gum disease. I have buried my head in the sand for years because I am so scared and ashamed. Dp knew there was something wrong and has been encouraging me to go to the dentist for months but I have refused and shut down all attempts at conversation.

He eventually got so stressed that I confessed how bad things were - although I still haven't let him look inside my mouth. I found it really hard to tell him and was very tearful.

He has been incredibly supportive, sympathetic and reassuring. He has found a dentist that uses sedation, persuaded me to make an appointment and is going to drive me there.

I think that your dh would be very hurt by your reaction.

Theforest · 12/06/2021 13:51

Search for your local dental anaesthetic clinic. They only deal with nervous patients many of which need sedation.

My DH will not go to a regular dentist and only goes to our local one of these.

They will have seen all sorts before. Mainly because scared people don't go to the dentist!!

Do the research for him and then let him read in his own time. Suggest emailing them because he is probably scared to talk to someone initially

Feel for you both.

Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 20:33

Would that be private? We are NHS patients. Can't afford private treatment.

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 12/06/2021 20:54

An NHS dentist can refer for sedation and it costs no extra.
Good luck. Poor dh. Poor you trying to work out what to do for the best Flowers

Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 20:58

Thankyou

OP posts:
MaverickDanger · 12/06/2021 21:00

I had my wisdom teeth out under sedation and it cost me £50 extra. Absolutely worth it.

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