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Original poster

I feel really bad. DH teeth

53 replies

GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 12:51

DH has had issues with his back teeth for years. He needs to go to the dental hospital but he's scared. Really scared of the dentist.

I've just had to do a covid test on him and saw his back teeth for the first time in maybe 10 years.

He said "please don't look at my teeth" Sad

But they are rotten. Gone. Nothing that just black holes and it made me feel really sick and now I'm thinking about when I kiss him and stuff.

Please don't judge me and think I'm horrible it's just really bad. I said he should go dentist and he got upset saying I asked you not to look and you bring it up straight away.

He must be in so much pain :(

OP posts:
StillMedusa · 12/06/2021 21:04

I have treatment under sedation on the NHS..so yes it exists. But he will probably have to assessed and referred by a regular dentist first.

I had to wait a while thanks to covid but it was worth it.. seriously, a good dentist will be understanding. My teeth aren't bad at all but due to a facial nerve problem I am totally phobic. Sedated..no problem..I'm out cold, remember nothing :)

pictureframenotperfect · 12/06/2021 21:08

Gross. His dental hygiene must be terrible for them to be rotten to the point of being black holes. I literally could not kiss someone like that. His breath must stink if his teeth are black and rotten?

MaybeCrazy2 · 12/06/2021 21:11

He can be sedated. It is perfectly fine and he won’t see/feel a needle.

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General health
MushMonster · 12/06/2021 21:11

You have to make him go to the dentist and sort it.
It is a huge risk to his health.

MaybeCrazy2 · 12/06/2021 21:12

He can have it done on nhs.

Honesty it will open up a new world to him. It’s so easy. Obviously he will have nerves going there, that’s normal, but he won’t see or feel a thing- it’s brilliant!

ProcrastinationIsMySuperPower · 12/06/2021 21:18

Please encourage him to get dental care ASAP. A dear friend of mine ignored tooth problems and ended up critically ill in hospital with sepsis.
I understand fear of the dentist - I didn't go myself for over 20 years. But it can cause more problems to your health than you realise!

justanotherneighinparadise · 12/06/2021 21:23

The problem with leaving them is infection in the bone, which once the bone is lost, its lost forever. So he must get them removed and he needs X-rays.

insertrandomusernamehere · 12/06/2021 21:23

I'm a scaredy-cat when it comes to the dentist. So much so that my dentist referred me to a clinical psychologist to deal with my dental phobia. I couldn't believe there was a specific team to deal with people like me. He needs to be honest with the dentist and get some help ASAP.

Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 21:24

@pictureframenotperfect

Gross. His dental hygiene must be terrible for them to be rotten to the point of being black holes. I literally could not kiss someone like that. His breath must stink if his teeth are black and rotten?
Read my replies. It's absolutely NOTHING to do with his hygiene. His back teeth grew in sideways in adulthood and impacted against his existing teeth causing them to crack off under the pressure.

He doesn't even have a single filling in his other teeth! He brushes & glosses twice a day and uses mouthwash!

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 21:25

Flosses*

OP posts:
insertrandomusernamehere · 12/06/2021 21:25

Ps. I was also referred to a specialist clinic for a tooth filling. It was a clinic that mostly saw Autistic children.

Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 21:26

I'll talk to him later. Thankyou everyone who replied kindly.

OP posts:
insertrandomusernamehere · 12/06/2021 21:26

Pps. This was all NHS Dental

Original poster
GreenBinLid · 12/06/2021 21:32

Thankyou insert, it's going to have to be a gentle convo but he can't carry on in pain like this. I didn't realise how bad it was.

OP posts:
TableFlowerss · 12/06/2021 21:33

@Fluffycloudland77

Does he clean them?.
I think black stumps suggest the problem is waaayyy past cleaning!
Talkwhilstyouwalk · 12/06/2021 21:38

Crikey. He really needs to get this sorted. They are wisdom teeth, he doesn't need them so time to get them removed. Maybe he could even get it done under general anaesthetic if he's that terrified? If you can get him to just speak to a dentist he might be empowered enough to take action.

TableFlowerss · 12/06/2021 21:39

If he’s sedated he won’t know or remember anything then it’ll be done and dusted poor guy!

Fluffycloudland77 · 12/06/2021 21:39

One of dhs de-coronated and he had it removed at the dental hospital. It was triple rooted.

I’ll spare you the details.

IAmAWomanNotACis · 12/06/2021 21:40

Poor bloke must be terrified if he will put up with tooth pain like that must be causing :(

I think you do have to have a robust but kind conversation with him. You couldn't help see his teeth, you had to look at the back of his mouth to perform the test. Lots of people are scared of the dentist, to varying degrees including phobic. There are dentists who will be patient and kind and helpful, and I imagine there are probably non-dentist therapies like EMDR or talking therapies that can help him address the fear. But as others say it's not just about tooth pain, it's the risk of frankly death through sepsis that he really ought to take extremely seriously. Perhaps impressing on him that you don't want to be a widow so young might help him into taking some action.

Thunderface · 12/06/2021 21:40

I have a dental phobia. My teeth are currently in a mess. I'm trying to summon the courage to see someone but it's very difficult.
I've been like this all my life. I'm very ashamed but the fear is debilitating.
It's hasn't been helped by the fact that the last dentist I saw was rude, patronising and dismissive and did more harm than good to me both physically and mentally.
It must be lovely to be a person with good teeth who can cope with regular dentists visits but not everyone is like that.

HollowTalk · 12/06/2021 21:41

You say he hasn't any other fillings, but he hasn't been to the dentist's, so he wouldn't have, would he?

He needs to invest in his teeth now and FWIW it's a good idea for him to stop smoking, too.

whatwasIgoingtosay · 12/06/2021 21:42

Tooth decay and gum disease can lead to serious health problems, including brain or heart infections. The link is well documented. Please do your best to persuade him to get this seen to, for both your sakes.

Notashandyta · 12/06/2021 21:47

I have a dental phobia and go to an NHS dentist who gives me intravenous sedation for everything, even the tiniest of fillings
Thats what he needs. Poor bloke

hellywelly3 · 12/06/2021 21:52

I have a dental phobia I didn’t go for years but I realised how dangerous it can be for my health. Infection gets in your blood and can cause reaction serious problems. I went and I’ve got mild/moderate periodontitis! This effects the tissue and the bone leading to tooth loss. I’ve had to have peri dental cleaning (below the gum line) not been nice at all but I feel so much better for doing it. Been 4 times over the last few weeks and now I’ve got 3 monthly check ups. I do get in a bit of a state before going but I just know I have to make myself go. Really try encourage him x

Curbaisti · 12/06/2021 22:12

My DH has a massive dental phobia too, its the gagging for him. What we did with his agreement was I booked an appointment for him, told him the morning of, he took some valium. His next appointment then was sedation to get the work done. Again told him the night before so he could fast. He is sorted now and have his yearly check up under my hat for now