I feel really bad. DH teeth

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DH has had issues with his back teeth for years. He needs to go to the dental hospital but he's scared. Really scared of the dentist.

I've just had to do a covid test on him and saw his back teeth for the first time in maybe 10 years.

He said "please don't look at my teeth"

But they are rotten. Gone. Nothing that just black holes and it made me feel really sick and now I'm thinking about when I kiss him and stuff.

Please don't judge me and think I'm horrible it's just really bad. I said he should go dentist and he got upset saying I asked you not to look and you bring it up straight away.

He must be in so much pain :(

I do feel for your dh, and you too - I used to have a fear of the dentist and it’s still something I hate doing - but have realised it’s the lesser evil compared to having bad teeth. The dentist once actually told me that wisdom teeth were softer than other teeth and rotted much more easily - I’m not sure if that’s true. The thing is, this is one of those times when something that is a huge issue for you and your dh, is just a tiny speck on the daily routine of a dentist. They see people every day with terrible teeth, they literally see a stream of patients and your dh’s teeth are not something that the dentist is going to think about twice.

So if your dh shouldn’t feel ashamed or scared, because although he’s really worried, it’s not something that the dentist will look badly on him for, the dentist is only interested in helping him and solving the problem. The day I realised that worries which were a massive part of my life were an insignificant part of somebody else’s, was the day I worried less about things.

Easier said than done though, I hope he can find the courage to get it sorted - it will be a huge sense of relief for him when he does.

As others have said talk to your dentist about sedation. They can offer intravenous sedation or pill or inhalation. He would be totally relaxed/asleep, it speeds up time and there is no pain and no recollection of any procedure. Local anaesthetic can be given by needle after sedation. They can even give something to get you through the door in the first place. However I think not all dentists are qualified to give sedation. He is probably at the stage where they will consider surgery the best approach which will be a general. But sedation is fantastic!

Eventually he's going to get an abscess and he will be in so much pain then that he'll be begging the dentist to see him. That's how I ended up getting my teeth looked at after quite a few years of no dental treatment. After the first appointment you realise it's bearable.