Appealing a suspension

[OckRd]

DS has recently been suspended from school for seven weeks (effectively permanently as he is in his last year) for climbing scaffolding on an historic school building. Case not helped by the 5 pints of beer. We do not live in the UK and he has only been at the school for 6th Form (since September 2019 - so he has barely been at school at all). Otherwise unblemished record - indeed glowing character references from his housemaster. Goverrors' appeal next week. Does anyone else have a feeling for the severity of the penalty?

@MadMadMadamMim

Well, you seem like a nice person!!

I think the punishment is fair. It's a private school and they can't have stuff like this sullying their reputation. Nor can they risk the potential legal fall out if he'd bonked his head or worse. Also, did he have an appreciating audience? If he's started a craze to climb the scaffolding then they have to give a hard punishment to deter copycats.

No judgement from me though. My stepson, completely sober and alone, shinned up a massive crane that was at an apartment block building site, in the dark, to make a youtube video. He was about 18 when he did this. As he made his way down, a police patrol saw him. They collared him at the base and gave him a €200 ticket (not a criminal offence in his country). None of us helped him pay the fine so he had to use his PT job wages and Birthday money and he's kept his nose clean since! It's just silly behaviour, granted it can have terrible consequences. It's hardly thuggish - just stupid.

Just be glad he's still in one piece

Eyup is daddy on the thread now too?

Either daddy or a terrible name change fail attempt at sock puppeting.

@AppleKatie

Either daddy or a terrible name change fail attempt at sock puppeting.

Yep - Daddy's here 👋

[quote James2503]@KateTheEighth

School did a test. Just alcohol, but thanks for your input :)[/quote]

What did they test for? 🤔

My cousin fell to his death from his mate's bedroom window as a result of a bad trip but you just carry on telling yourself it's "only" alcohol and the school are over reacting

Good luck. Your son will need it.

I'm sure some of the people commenting here have experience of parenting 18 year olds, but if I had to bet, I'd bet that most don't. Calling this behaviour 'thuggish' is mad. 18 year olds need a bit of parental support when things go wrong, even if it is entirely their own fault. Their brains haven't reached maturity and they're in a society (UK) where drinking to excess is celebrated and regarded by most as a bit funny. He's a boy who made a mistake and it sounds like he feels pretty terrible about it.

All that said, I agree that appealing doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. If he feels terrible about it in an unresolved way, maybe ask (VERY nicely) if he could have a Zoom call with the head of year or head of pastoral care or whatever so that he can apologise in person and try to mend a few bridges, as he's really enjoyed his time at the school and doesn't want it to end on a bad note? But this would be for him to try to achieve some closure, not with a view to getting the school to change its mind.

PacificState
Not parented an 18 year old, but worked with enough 6th formers to know that most of them don't go scaling scaffolding on old buildings.
Whilst correlation isn't causation, I'd say anecdotally there is a correlation between those 6th formers whose parents mollycoddle and swoop in to challenge the college and those who have quite an entitled attitude and form for not taking reasonable responsibility for their behaviour.

"@James2503 Excuse me?? Do you know this person? He is very happy and was out with the pub with some mates. Got too drunk and did something foolish, like literally every British teen has. Please don't make such rude assumptions about someone you don't know. The author of this text is seeking KIND, non-judgemental advice not rude comments like this one. Also, there's this thing called COVID and travel restrictions. Author lives abroad but son was safe and SUPPORTED by family. Now how about you go take care of yours :)"

Excuse me! Sorry, do YOU know this person? You are not the OP.

I have 2 grown up sons and work in a sch , in a safeguarding capacity. In all my 21 yrs of raising my own boys , and safeguarding role , i have never seen either of my children, their friends, my students or any children i have worked with, climb scaffolding while high/drunk.

A young 18 yr old ,climbed scaffolding and is away from family. He has effectively been expelled and now his parents are moaning about his expulsion. Parents feel they have had little involvement with his suspension, but only now , he has no where to go , as he finished sch and they have no where for him to go/stay/boarding sch out of bounds. Parents are miles away and really no clue to their sons state of mental health, more concerned with the weeks of free time the suspension will involve and the staying of him with uk based family.

If you cannot see @James2503 that , that will raise flags with safeguarding, you are deluded. " literally every British teen does this". NO , they don't.

" got too drunk and done something foolish like literally every British teen has ".

No, i have never witnessed a teen climb scaffolding and put their life on the line.

We can all post here @James2503 and be "kind" to the OP , because she is abroad. Or, we can express genuine welfare concerns for her son and expect her to be here , to care for her own child.

Covid or not, there have been windows of opportunity over the last yr to reunite a mother and / or father ,with their child. The boy is struggling and unhappy. He is climbing scaffolding- he is asking for help. "Supported" by family is not mum or Dad. Mum and/or Dad need to get on a plane, isolate for how ever many days and reunite their son.

"Now how about you go take care of yours :)"

I have taken great care of mine and raised them into successful uneventful manhood.

It's seems a reasonable punishment to me.

I can’t quite see the point of a shorter suspension. The suspension will be on his record, whether it was 1 week or 6. Appeal away if you feel you should. You may be successful, you may not. Where is he living at the moment?