Appealing a suspension

[OckRd]

DS has recently been suspended from school for seven weeks (effectively permanently as he is in his last year) for climbing scaffolding on an historic school building. Case not helped by the 5 pints of beer. We do not live in the UK and he has only been at the school for 6th Form (since September 2019 - so he has barely been at school at all). Otherwise unblemished record - indeed glowing character references from his housemaster. Goverrors' appeal next week. Does anyone else have a feeling for the severity of the penalty?

He was suspended just before he had to do the assessments for his Teacher Assessed Grades. He was able to stay with family in the UK and the school organised for him to do his assessments online. The ongoing provision of academic support is not really an issue for us in the appeal and he has no further exams or lessons.

I think you'd be better to not appeal and let him learn his lesson - actions have consequences. He did something so unbelievably stupid and dangerous. He deserves the punishment he got.

You as a parent need to help he see that and make sure he doesn't do something so stupid again.

This punishment seems to be par for the course for offences such as selling drugs to other pupils and setting fire to the chemistry labs

It must be a very liberal environment in that case. Here, dealing and criminal damage would be immediate permanent exclusion. With police involvement.

I too think you're under estimating the magnitude of this. If he's about to finish there's really no point appealing unless his exams are affected. Which I guess they're not as you would have mentioned that.

He has been given suspension rather than permanent exclusion because of his previous good record and fact that he has expressed remorse. That's a win. Take it. It could have been a lot lot worse.

You say that you are not in the U.K. is the school in the U.K.? If it’s not it is unlikely can advise. Similarly if it’s independent there is little you can do about it. I am not sure why you are using terms such as malice aforethought! IME that tends to indicate a parent who thinks that schools need to meet the criminal standard of proof if they want to exclude which is not the case at all!

Within the UK, being drunk is also seen as an aggravating, not a mitigating circumstance.

This punishment seems to be par for the course for offences such as selling drugs to other pupils and setting fire to the chemistry labs - which are not the same as an idiotic unpremeditated act without malice aforethought. I am interested in hearing from anyone who has had actual experience of this kind of thing... rather than those who simply want to make judgmental remarks.
In my experience of exclusions, the fact your child has an unblemished record is probably the only reason he has escaped a permanent exclusion, and even with an unblemished record he is incredibly lucky they didn't permanently exclude for his actions.

To begin with, local laws on underage drinking are a factor. If those 5 pints were consumed illegally, I would expect that to have a substantial impact on the odds of your appeal.

He's 18 so drinking is legal and the trip to the pub was authorised by his housemaster - that said, drinking so much was deeply stupid and irresponsible.

It could have ended in death. Be grateful it didnt. And dont appeal. Its a very light punishment.

If it's not going to affect his exams, why do you care?

Malice aforethought, where do people get these expressions from. He didn't commit murder and anyway, that's not the modern test in England.

So an adult in the eyes of the law, legally consumes alcohol and his mummy gets annoyed when there are consequences for his drunken actions.

You should only appeal if you think the punishment was undeserved.

I'm not sure it was. The school couldn't allow that could they? What difference would a shorter suspension make? His record would be the same.

I think you are making an error here by implying to him that he shouldn't be punished for what he did.

As he’s presumably done his exams I don’t think there is much point. But OP the main thing is the severity of this is going over your head. You need to be the adult and let him accept the punishment, not try and help him wriggle out of it.

I don’t think you will have any joy with the school - had he fallen and been killed/paralysed or sustained other life changing injuries it would have landed then in a world of hot water that could have put the school’s future at risk. (I’m assuming it’s an independent school.) More importantly, if he isn’t punished, it will seem to the other pupils this is a cool stunt they can try and emulate, which may end in their injury or death. The school doesn’t want this, and it will be well aware other parents don’t either.

So all in all don’t enable your son not to take responsibility when he’s about to hit the grown up world.

I am interested in hearing from anyone who has had actual experience of this kind of thing

Sadly, I think we all have experience of thuggish teenage boys acting reprehensibly and having it explained away by the enablers around them.

Your son needs to learn about consequences, so don’t try and appeal. Punish the prat.

As an independent school teacher who has had experience of working with boarders and disciplinary’s.

If you’d have told me the offence I would have guessed this as the punishment. It’s not that he’s been suspended for 7 weeks rather that;

1. His exams are over
2. He has lost the right to attend valedictory events.
3. The school no longer trust him/his behaviour.
4. He has shown himself completely unwilling to submit to the rules of boarding- therefore expulsion from boarding is appropriate.
5. His relationship with the school has irreversibly broken down.

If there were 2 weeks left of term he’d have been suspended for 2 weeks. If it’d have been 6months+ he would have been expelled.

School have done the kind thing by letting him sit his assessments and they will issue him with his teacher assessed grades.

Also- if you do appeal I would bet your life the first time a governor is available to see you will be in approx 8 weeks time

If my kid had been climbing on scaffolding after downing 5 pints, I'd be thanking my lucky stars he was still alive to tell the tale rather than appealing against his punishment

A similar thing happened to my old boss's son some years ago, got horribly drunk and committed some misdemeanour. Boss was very upset and mortified (was a very good boarding School and Dad was a High Court Judge!
I had to calm him down, and having 4 sons myself advised "least said soonest mended" which is what I would advise you OP.
It was a daft thing to do, but treat it as a lesson learned by your DS, do not interfere and appeal you are drawing more attention to it than is necessary.
He is of "previous good character" I don't think being suspended will have any effect on his future other than to make him less silly around alcohol and to recognise his limits!
(BTW his suspension didn't stop old boss's son getting into a good university)

The other things you mention would have been expulsion not fixed term as this is.
I'd be concerned about the safeguarding if the boarding master did indeed give permission for that visit (not allowed in our boarding house regardless of whether they're 18 or not). But, I can't see that there's a problem with the punishment from the information you have given here.

You're lucky your son is uninjured and alive and that he wasn't expelled. Honestly i think the least you can do as a parent (for your son and from the schools likely perspective) is to support the school in recognising the seriousness of what happened and help your son in this time to reflect on this.

Sorry but what he did was reckless and I’m surprised he didn’t get expelled . He needs to understand his actions have consequences and you are doing him no favours by even considering appealing sorry but your wrong .

He's alive. He's not in the spinal unit. He's not in a coma with a brain injury. He even got to do his assessments. He is one lucky little dickhead. What's your problem ?

MNers can you please STOP the personal attacks on the OP.

As for your sanctimonious comments about all this - anyone would think you'd never been young and/or done anything stupid yourselves. I don't believe it. I saw loads of teenagers getting drunk when I was at school.

How about providing support instead of personal attacks.

OP was this in school time or at a weekend? I'd be a bit concerned if he was drunk in school time but if it was outside school hours I couldn't get too worked up about it. Of course it was foolhardy and could have ended in serious injury or death. But it didn't. And it wasn't like doing drugs, as you rightly point out. In ds' school people got 2 weeks suspension for using drugs and permanent expulsion for pushing them. The only person the OP's son would have hurt here was himself.

And all your MNers - just wait until your perfect children do something stupid. I look forward to hearing about it on here because I repeat - nobody is perfect.

Sadly, I think we all have experience of thuggish teenage boys acting reprehensibly and having it explained away by the enablers around them

This wasn't thuggish. Thuggish would have been getting drunk and then bullying another boy, or beating up a girl or worse.