What does it mean if a man is doing this.

[Sos12345]

He's 47
I'm 33.

Been chatting since we met last summer.

We've arranged to meet up next weekend. But he's abit up and down. Hot and cold. I know he's abit guarded after his last relationship ended. But!

He keeps talking about other women. How they come onto him. Get the wrong idea. He blocks them. They are weird.

Last night he was saying how he has learned that women prefer men who are not allover them. They seem more attracted to you then. So he's learned to do that.

He does like alot of women's profile photos and stuff. So I think he likes to feel he has ladies around him.

But he's been wanting me for months and I'm only just coming round to the idea and now he's claiming all this stuff I'm confused.

I asked him if he only has feelings for me or if he's looking or talking elsewear. He insists he's only interested in me and really isn't interested elsewear. He has said his feelings for me haven't changed. But he's nowhere near as affectionate or allover me as he used to be. So I'm confused.

Is he outright confessing to me he is always looking for what else there is.

Or is he lying because he's insecure and wants me to feel he could have others?

Also he's making me feel like he's uninterested one day then the next he's talking about how excited he is to meet and all the places we can go and how close he feels to me.

One of his old school friends has seperated from her partner this week. He's always liked her photos and since her split he's liked all her statues about the split. He's even commented on it and put several kisses. This was last night. He seemed to have been online all night too. She lives two hours away from us.

What's going on??? Does he really like me or is he taking me for a huge ride. He also told me last night it's not looks it's a big heart he wants. Well I've been here with my big heart for months and I still feel I'm not fully his main focus.

Help!

Run for the hills

What does it mean? It means he's a cunt

He’s playing you. He’s an absolute mindfuck and if you value your mental health you will walk away now and never look back.

Every other woman here will say the same.

He's taking you for a ride. Honestly what's the point?

He is peacocking. He's trying to make him appear like he's a good catch and all the women want him. I can't be fucked with those childish games.

Life is too short for this shit op. Move on.

Sorry, but the thought of a man fannying about all the time on social media, liking lady's photos and commenting.... it's just a total boner killer for me

It sounds like he likes to play games and sort of weaponise SM. I'd pass on this one, doesnt sound like he's going to bring you much joy or peace of mind.

Christ 47? When is he planning on growing up?

@LavendulaAngustifolia

He is peacocking. He's trying to make him appear like he's a good catch and all the women want him. I can't be fucked with those childish games.

This. Honestly, OP, you haven’t even met this preening, insecure mindfuck, and you’re already confused and doubting yourself — how great will it feel to be on a date with him where he spends the entire time checking out other women and when you go to the loo, you’ll come back to him telling you that this hot blonde just sashayed over and gave him her number?

Do yourself a favour and tell him to toddle off and start telling Newly Separated Friend about how he’s looking for a big heart, because he’s boring you.

He is messing with your head

You should feel happy and secure and confident that you know what he wants. If you don’t then he’s not the one

Move on.

Yes I'm sat here thinking im very very close to ending it. But I just can't put my finger on it.

He's not the best looking guy. I like him but he's not a sex god! But he's charming! I have noticed he's online more and not speaking as much to me. But most of the other women on his Facebook that interact are just old school friends. There's several most are married and a few are now divorced or single. They are around 16 years older than me. I didn't know whether he is insecure because I'm younger. I don't think I'm beautiful. But I'm average and I do get the odd offer still most months. I'm not very flirty though so tend to ignore it. Alot of these comments started when I was asked out twice this last week and he's seen. So is he trying to get one over on me?

I don't find it attractive anymore but I do wish I knew if he really was an expert getting attention or if he's just lying to make me think. I don't doubt there's the odd woman he messages. I know he is friendly with women and always has been.

This is why his ex and he split.

I’m sorry OP but I agree with the others.

Stop wasting any more time and headspace on this mindfuck.

You being confused is the point. He wants you chasing after him, never quite sure what’s going on but always believing that you’re somehow in competition with a huge flock of women all throwing their knickers at him.

Don’t bother. If he can’t have a genuine relationship without playing these sort of games, he’s not going to be worth the effort.

I have met him last year several times. Then he became a phone thing. I do have some mega feelings for him. But I am really unimpressed.

I just don't know what he actually wants from me. He's not going to get many women my age interested in him. So if he wants me you'd think he would get his arse into gear and make me feel like the only girl for him.

He hasn't had sex from me or anything yet.he has called me everyday apart from one month everyday since September. So I dont quite know what's keeping him around.

He's just hiding something. He's either lying or chatting to other people he wouldn't mind a chance with.

Again though. They never live local?? I'm the only local one?

Time to start looking for another man.

@GoldenOmber

What makes a man behave this way in your opinion? I've never known anyone like it.

Generally being an arsehole.

This is not a relationship. This is not even a friendship. This is nothing but a headache.

We don't know why. It is a waste of headspace trying to second guess, interpret, gauge. Put him in the bin, he's not worth the mental effort. Ugh.

He's a self centred pillock, who wants you to be available whenever it suits him but not to cramp his style with other women.

I would say the biggest factor here is why you can’t see straight away that this is no good.

Yes you have some alarm bells going off...but very faintly and you’re not sure if you should listen to them hence asking here.

I’m glad you asked so everyone can tell you how useless he is. However I would seriously recommend working on your expectations/boundaries/self worth so you have zero qualms about ending things early with someone who is a one way ride to crapville.

I'm exhausted just reading about him
Couldn't deal with this at all. get rid of him.

Aren't you bored? With his style talk I'd have switched off I'd say after 2 weeks max. He sounds silly and self-centred. He'll keep you dangling, have sex with you then be off wittering about something or other to keep you invested whilst he doesn't really bother with you.

Is this him?