If you don't live in a standard "normal" way, how do you live?

[curiositykilledthecatsplat]

Curious to know how people live if you don't live in "standard" way, how do you live? ie you live in a commune, you travel the world with your family etc etc

Not yet. But me and DP are selling everything and intend to just set off on our bikes with a tent for the rest of our lives. We planned to go this spring, but didn't due to Covid, so finger's crossed for next year. We've cycled round the world in the past and decided that's how we want to live.

I live on a boat on a canal

@Toffeewhirl

We have ended up living differently from the norm because our children are neurodiverse and neither could cope with mainstream school. We spent years struggling to fit square pegs into round holes, but these days we home educate them and life is much calmer. Also, my DH and I swapped roles a few years back so he became their full-time carer and I became the breadwinner. Our lifestyle is unconventional, but these days I'm quite blasé about it when anyone questions us. I've come to terms with our differences and am certain that we are doing the best we can for our children and prioritising their mental health over everything else. Anyone who judges us should try walking in our shoes.

You sound amazing. I think I love you. Your family certainly do.

That's such a lovely comment, Paradisaea. Thank you.

Wow lots of replies! I'm going to starting wading through them all, can't wait!

Currently living in a static caravan with DH, 2DCs, dog, 2 cats and the hamster while we await planning permission to demolish a semi-derelict property and build our house. Maybe not that non-standard, judging from the number of episodes of Grand Designs etc but feels like an adventure to us.

We are very rural with 4 acres, no mains gas, water or sewerage.

Proud to say that my DCs’ (10 & 8) hobbies are treehouse building, cycling, horses and breeding poultry rather than anything screen based.

@Toffeewhirl

I’d like to think if I was in that situation I would do the same. Makes complete and utter sense. It would also be really helpful if you could put some advice down for others on how you do it - there must be lots of families out there wondering how to make their life work for them and their children.

Well done on having the courage to think for yourself and put your children first xx

@Chickoletta

Currently living in a static caravan with DH, 2DCs, dog, 2 cats and the hamster while we await planning permission to demolish a semi-derelict property and build our house. Maybe not that non-standard, judging from the number of episodes of Grand Designs etc but feels like an adventure to us.

We are very rural with 4 acres, no mains gas, water or sewerage.

Proud to say that my DCs’ (10 & 8) hobbies are treehouse building, cycling, horses and breeding poultry rather than anything screen based.

Just don't get pregnant during the project!

I was very surprised they agreed to it l, but they did! If it wasn’t for the support (ok, push) from my partner I don’t think I would have asked as it felt .. cheeky I guess. But why does it feel cheeky to try and love the life you would like to. If you can get the job done well that’s all that matters. Best of luck 😘

This is a very interesting thread. I don’t live conventionally, probably. Early 30s female, made a lot of money in my 20s, invested in properties and businesses and now don’t need to work, bought a farm in the country, indulge any and every whim, got bored and so went back to work and can command large salary. It’s wonderful but also strangely, money doesn’t motivate me at all.

We live on a widebeam canal boat right now (last nine years) and before that we lived in rural France for ten years, and before that we were welsh sheep farmers in the Preselli mountains. We work on the premise that if you don't do it now, you'll regret it later. If my husband said lets go live in Canada or Alaska or Australia or Timbuktoo, I'd probably go 'yes, that sounds like fun'.

I have a normal job and my partner is very famous

@TooInvested

I have a normal job and my partner is very famous

You can't leave us hanging like that....

@RIPwalter

Live 300m up the side of a mountain in Snowdonia. We are off grid for water and sewerage, but other than that quite normal and dull.

Stupid question, but how do you get water? I assume you have a septic tank, but surely not a well?!

@BornInAUFO

Not sure how interesting it is, but I live very rurally. More sheep than people, regularly snowed in during winter. No gas, we use oil and electricity. Water is from a natural spring, so no water charges, but it does go yellow/green/brown when there’s too much rain

I presume you have to boil it to drink it?

Up until last year was living and working all over the place...every 1-3 years in a different country for the last 20 years....this means I don't have a house/mortgage/husband/partner/kids ... and can't wait to head off again ... when things improve.

We live in an old Victorian cemetery, at one time it would have been the Graveyard Superintendent's house. We lead an otherwise boring / normal life

We are both self employed and neither of us function with routine. The only one with a routine is dd but mine is all over the place. We don't shop, get up, go to bed, holiday, cook, work etc at the same times ever. It's great.

I rarely cook the same thing twice, never shop at the same shops for food regularly - I try out all the supermarkets. I walk the dog on a different route every day.

I am thinking I have pathological demand avoidance.

Hope this doesn't out me - My kids are (well were) 4th generation expat. I've done 8 counties and 15 cities..... but now I've stopped and settled down with a man who's entire family are within 15 mins drive.... and my parents have moved here too.... I feel quite lucky to have lived so many places but it's been really hard to stop (but worthwhile).... not ruled out more travelling when the kids are grown up but for now I think the 60+ countries I've visited is far is enough! 😁 and my lifestyle now is incredibly boring - I love it!

I don't understand how it could out you, @dramalamma?

@Maireas
Friends or family on Mumsnet.
They'd be recognisable, surely?

@PandemicPalava

We are both self employed and neither of us function with routine. The only one with a routine is dd but mine is all over the place. We don't shop, get up, go to bed, holiday, cook, work etc at the same times ever. It's great.

I rarely cook the same thing twice, never shop at the same shops for food regularly - I try out all the supermarkets. I walk the dog on a different route every day.

I am thinking I have pathological demand avoidance.

Out of interest How old is your dd?

Not necessarily, @rosamacrose, there are lots of expats among my friends and family. Over the generations, too. Maybe the details would give her away.

We are hoping our restored farmhouse will be able to be off grid and sustainable for electricity (using solar and wind). We will be connected to water but you don't pay for water here. So no utility bills.

@Mum2b43

I live a conventional life now but as a child I grew up in extreme poverty in Africa. I was homeless from birth until 17 years old when I finished school. I slept in a tent for a few years but mostly in a shack made from metal scraps and bricks. I had to walk a mile to the nearest communal toilet/shower. I regularly only got one meal a day which was porridge more often than not. I didn’t own my 1st pair of shoes until I was 8 and they were donated by a church. The most unconventional thing about this all is I am white and white people didn’t live like this in the 80s in Africa. Although quite a few do now.

When I turned 18 my grandmother gave me her life’s savings which was about £500. It was enough to buy a one way ticket to London and pay for a visa. I arrived with £100 in my pocket and bag of tatty clothes not knowing a single person and never been on a train or plane before.

20 years later I have a 4 bed semi detached and a professional career with 3 spoilt children and a DH. I often have to pinch myself to realise this is my life now, my children will never go hungry or sleep on a street. I am very proud of how far I have come.

wow that is amazing.

What did you do when you arrived in UK? Where did you go? How did you not end up sleeping on the streets?

I'd love to know more