If you don't live in a standard "normal" way, how do you live?

[curiositykilledthecatsplat]

Curious to know how people live if you don't live in "standard" way, how do you live? ie you live in a commune, you travel the world with your family etc etc

9 months later

My partner and I I have both just negotiated remote working contracts with current employers (different multi national software companies) so as long as we working from the same time zone we can travel around Europe and work from any country on London wage (we both luckily have European Union passports as well as UK). This has been my dream my whole life. I thought I’d always be tied to London for work. Once covid is under control we hope to keep moving around ! We did a trial run in a small coastal town in Egypt for six weeks (I know not Europe). We just stayed out there when London went into lockdown two and our flights were cancelled, for six weeks, and it was an absolute dream. We built a community in no time and we were also able to fit in our hobby of Scuba diving before work started. Diving at dawn and seeing the reef wake up before starting our jobs. Popping for a beer on a quiet beach with new friends. We feel enriched from the experience and really appreciate this new flexibility in our lives.

My non standard life is minor by me but I can see it might surprise some on here. I live alone with an old wobbley dog. I had two who were brothers but one died. Wobbley dog panics if left alone, can't walk far and doesn't like being in the car so we stay home unless my sis visits then she dog sits. This means I go out very rarely. I am actually very happy in my odd life. I do a lot of crafting and gardening and wobbley is very happy to potter round the garden and sleep a lot. When my husband died the dogs kept me going so i figure its time for payback.

@Spongebobfrillypants

Thank you so much for this thread. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it & it has made me think that there is more to life than a 9-5 job & a weekend of telly watching on the sofa! I am 52 years old & soon the kids will be adults & hopefully making their own way in life. This thread has made me think that I can still have an adventure of my own - maybe I'll meet some of you in a few years time when I go on my backpacking expedition!

Me too!

@Mum2b43

I live a conventional life now but as a child I grew up in extreme poverty in Africa. I was homeless from birth until 17 years old when I finished school. I slept in a tent for a few years but mostly in a shack made from metal scraps and bricks. I had to walk a mile to the nearest communal toilet/shower. I regularly only got one meal a day which was porridge more often than not. I didn’t own my 1st pair of shoes until I was 8 and they were donated by a church. The most unconventional thing about this all is I am white and white people didn’t live like this in the 80s in Africa. Although quite a few do now.

When I turned 18 my grandmother gave me her life’s savings which was about £500. It was enough to buy a one way ticket to London and pay for a visa. I arrived with £100 in my pocket and bag of tatty clothes not knowing a single person and never been on a train or plane before.

20 years later I have a 4 bed semi detached and a professional career with 3 spoilt children and a DH. I often have to pinch myself to realise this is my life now, my children will never go hungry or sleep on a street. I am very proud of how far I have come.

Wow, what a tale.

So many people could write interesting biographies on this thread.

I grew up in what would be called a stately home in the UK.

I own it now but don’t live there.

Not sure if that counts.

Live in bedroom, noisy neighbours 😖

I make my children do household chores( they were responsible as well for their own laundry and bedding from when they went to high school) and help with cooking, does that count?
To be fair Dd was very prepared when she went to uni as will Ds this year when he goes.

@CrisPbacon

We had loads of kids and once they'd left home we found ourselves returning to the same place year after year on holiday, so often it really wasn't worth coming home. The cottage in which we stayed eventually became vacant and we were given first refusal to rent or buy it. We moved to a remote part of Scotland at 3 weeks notice after the death of one of our (adult) children, deciding you only live once. We grow most of our own fruit and veg, shoot and are off grid. We are not self sufficient but we are about 60% there, it wasn't what we planned we just sort of evolved that way. Initially, I commuted 4.5 hours each way (doing 2 nights and staying over in between) for 8 months, it was hard but well worth it. We used to travel a lot and now we have no desire at all to even leave home. We just love it here, we are loathe to go to any towns now and hate to leave our bit of loveliness. We are very lucky, we are monetarily poor but our only regret is that we didn't realise sooner how great it is to be richer in things other than money. If you've every fancied a total change do it now; don't wait like we did. If u want it enough you can make it happen

I’d love to know where in Scotland you are! Have you thought of going on New Lives in the Wild?

@justaweeone

I make my children do household chores( they were responsible as well for their own laundry and bedding from when they went to high school) and help with cooking, does that count? To be fair Dd was very prepared when she went to uni as will Ds this year when he goes.

is that not normal?

@CrisPbacon

We had loads of kids and once they'd left home we found ourselves returning to the same place year after year on holiday, so often it really wasn't worth coming home. The cottage in which we stayed eventually became vacant and we were given first refusal to rent or buy it. We moved to a remote part of Scotland at 3 weeks notice after the death of one of our (adult) children, deciding you only live once. We grow most of our own fruit and veg, shoot and are off grid. We are not self sufficient but we are about 60% there, it wasn't what we planned we just sort of evolved that way. Initially, I commuted 4.5 hours each way (doing 2 nights and staying over in between) for 8 months, it was hard but well worth it. We used to travel a lot and now we have no desire at all to even leave home. We just love it here, we are loathe to go to any towns now and hate to leave our bit of loveliness. We are very lucky, we are monetarily poor but our only regret is that we didn't realise sooner how great it is to be richer in things other than money. If you've every fancied a total change do it now; don't wait like we did. If u want it enough you can make it happen

Sounds really lovely.

@theDudesmummy

After a 30-career in the NHS in London, now reclaiming a derelict farmhouse in the west of Ireland.

I quite fancy this idea...any advice?

@Mum2b43

I live a conventional life now but as a child I grew up in extreme poverty in Africa. I was homeless from birth until 17 years old when I finished school. I slept in a tent for a few years but mostly in a shack made from metal scraps and bricks. I had to walk a mile to the nearest communal toilet/shower. I regularly only got one meal a day which was porridge more often than not. I didn’t own my 1st pair of shoes until I was 8 and they were donated by a church. The most unconventional thing about this all is I am white and white people didn’t live like this in the 80s in Africa. Although quite a few do now.

When I turned 18 my grandmother gave me her life’s savings which was about £500. It was enough to buy a one way ticket to London and pay for a visa. I arrived with £100 in my pocket and bag of tatty clothes not knowing a single person and never been on a train or plane before.

20 years later I have a 4 bed semi detached and a professional career with 3 spoilt children and a DH. I often have to pinch myself to realise this is my life now, my children will never go hungry or sleep on a street. I am very proud of how far I have come.

Wow.

Did you ever see your grandmother again after you left, or told her how well you are doing? Do you return to see extended family in Africa?

I’m an expat who’s moved countries twice in the last 8 years. Now settled where we are for the last 4 years. 4DC in tow. Not very typical but not overly un-usual either but I have met some really fascinating people with some really interesting lives. One guy grew up in India on a farm with roaming tigers and elephants etc in his back garden. Another of my good friends was married to a celebrity chef at one point. Another friend and husband came from South Africa and endured several robberies at knife point in their family butchers shop! My life/upbringing was distinctly boring compared! What is nice is that we have now all found one another as friends.

Not me
But I knew a woman who didn't live with her husband.. They lived two doors away from each other and loved it. They said they were too selfish to live together full time 😂

@Willowandrose that would be my dream too! Sadly, I don't think it would be possible in my current role and company but I might start strategising.

I have a friend who has lived in temporary types of accommodation her whole life moving around constantly and meeting new people and never worked, relying on benefits and help from friends to survive. She always seems to do ok moneywise though, not sure how.
My SIL has raised 4 children in a single room, not sure he she coped!

Enjoy your life darlin! 👏❤️

I own my sheep farm in Scotland and spend half the time here when it's lambing, sheep sales, agricultural show time. The rest of the time I'm in our family home in a commuter town near London. DH flits up and down too because he can work from home. Is that interesting or not?
probably not

LowlandLucky

Retired in my 40s. Spend my days doing as i please. Live in a rural/coastal house. Was about to sell and move to a lovely small town but have changed my mind and i will rent my place out and move to the Med for a couple of years or until i get fed up.

Oh my, lucky lucky you that is my ideal life 🙃

My life feels incredibly boring after reading this thread.

We're moving house late this year/early next year so would love to be able to grow our own veg then like some of you.

I'm not sure if I'd rather spend my imaginary money buying a holiday home here in Ireland, a holiday home abroad, or just visit different countries staying in hotels.

@godmum56 I love your story. Such a privilege to be able to care for a special old friend when they've given you a lifetime of love.

Oh wow - great thread.

Interesting answers and I'm feeling rather jealous of all of them tbh ... apart from the 7 children (I struggle to cope with 3 teenagers)!

Damn - I wish I could add something exciting ... my life is far from normal ... but only because it revolves around my eldest son - who has profound medical and complex special needs (he has the mental age of a 9 month old). Let's say it keeps things real and very grounded ... but coping through all the daily challenges and appreciating all the little things. Let's say having a son with severe disabilities is a real 'shit filter!' We're rather brutally honest and not much breaks us!

and breathe and pass me my large wine glass :)

No unfortunately she passed away from cancer a couple of years after I left. My parents moved here a few years ago I helped fund it and my brother joined the British Army so he now lives here too. But extended family? No they didn’t help me growing up, they all lived fairly well. They left me and my brother to struggle and starve. I never went back even for a visit.... I can’t bear the thought of seeing all those children in poverty. I always imagine that one day if I won the lottery I would return and help as many of the children as I possibly could and change their future.

@derxa

I own my sheep farm in Scotland and spend half the time here when it's lambing, sheep sales, agricultural show time. The rest of the time I'm in our family home in a commuter town near London. DH flits up and down too because he can work from home. Is that interesting or not? probably not

I mean, sounds ideal if you like and trust the people who run your farm the rest of the year!