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If you don't live in a standard "normal" way, how do you live?

422 replies

curiositykilledthecatsplat · 02/06/2021 17:49

Curious to know how people live if you don't live in "standard" way, how do you live? ie you live in a commune, you travel the world with your family etc etc

OP posts:
Dnaltocs · 03/06/2021 21:39

We left home to get work during Thatchers reign.

Lots of money now but so miss home. I’ve moved on so much that home is uncomfortable now.
I’d have been unemployed if I’d stayed
The option was dole or leave home with my family to earn a living. I didn’t want my children to be raised on the dole.
I’m financially secure but this is not home.

Puffalicious · 03/06/2021 21:39

Don't know why it's not quoting Vixyboo sorry.

readslikeamagazine · 03/06/2021 21:44

my partner and i and child share a home with his ex partner and child who is my sister. we got together a few years after they split. apart from the living arrangements all very conventional as well all 'co-parent' and get on very well.

LemonadePockets · 03/06/2021 21:45

@Knockoneofftheshelftowin you’ve got to be Scottish .. with your flattie job ;)

catfunk · 03/06/2021 21:46

@readslikeamagazine

my partner and i and child share a home with his ex partner and child who is my sister. we got together a few years after they split. apart from the living arrangements all very conventional as well all 'co-parent' and get on very well.
Wow that's amazing !
LemonadePockets · 03/06/2021 21:47

I come from a family of travelling showmen, live on a caravan site among all immediate family but don’t travel myself

ERFFER · 03/06/2021 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Analysand · 03/06/2021 22:06

Not necessarily exciting (though it kind of can be) but I think def quite unusual these days:

My DH and I are both in five-times-a-week psychoanalysis (with different psychoanalysts, obviously).

We have each spent 1000 hours plus lying on the couch . It is like a second home!

chewedpencil · 03/06/2021 22:14

@Analysand

Not necessarily exciting (though it kind of can be) but I think def quite unusual these days:

My DH and I are both in five-times-a-week psychoanalysis (with different psychoanalysts, obviously).

We have each spent 1000 hours plus lying on the couch . It is like a second home!

Why? What? Tell us more!
blahblahblah321 · 03/06/2021 22:17

@readslikeamagazine

my partner and i and child share a home with his ex partner and child who is my sister. we got together a few years after they split. apart from the living arrangements all very conventional as well all 'co-parent' and get on very well.
Your partners ex is your sister? Or your partners exe's child is your sister?!
readslikeamagazine · 03/06/2021 22:34

@blahblahblah321 my sister and i both have children with my partner. they had a child and a failed relationship while i was a student , i didn't really know him at the time and we got together later.

LetItBe80 · 03/06/2021 22:43

Retired at 37. Live in the countryside...Love our dog & ducks and our 3 year old. Could not have foreseen what my life had in store for me. But it’s all worked out well.

Themeparklover · 03/06/2021 22:44

I move quite frequently, don't like staying in one place. Have quite a well paid job for being fairly young, collect cups/mugs and any form of skull decor I do tarot and astrology on the side, I'm hoping soon to move abroad to work and live at disney or work and live as a water engineer on svalbard near norway

Analysand · 03/06/2021 22:45

@chewedpencil

what are you curious to know? Wink

Why? - I suppose at the beginning I would have said "because I want to train as a psychotherapist or psychoanalyst and this is a requirement. But now I would say because I am curious about myself and understanding myself better, as well as needing help with the things about me that make me difficult to live with or the things that stop me growing in life. How to manage my emotions. How to understand my relationships etc.

What? As in what do you do? You go every (week) day at the same time to your analyst's consulting room. They let you in at the start of your session (always 50 mins long). You lie down on the couch, they sit close to you just behind you where you can't see them. You say whatever comes into your mind.

The main thing it is hard to get a sense of unless you have experienced it is the way it mirrors the mother-baby relationship - analyst is the mother, patient the baby. It stirs up all sorts of infant feelings and dependence, and how you react to this as a patient is really what is going on in the analysis.

That's it really, but out of that simple premise so much emerges!

Rather as a baby grows emotionally through the experience of having emotions in the presence of a more mature person who can help process , so the patient grows in the containment and thinking provided by the analyst.

Its an incredible privilege though extremely emotionally painful at times.

paradisaea · 03/06/2021 22:49

I played traunt from school every single day from 11 to 16. Nobody missed me or they were not interested. We were a dysfunctional family, if you follow me. I entered the racing game and made a lot of money when I was 23. In Brazil, over the next couple of years I lost it all, or it was stolen from me, apart from a small sum invested in a cottage back here.

At 27 I lost an arm following an accident in the jungle. But I walked away. A year later I settled down then buried one of my children seven years after that. I started a manufacturing business then sold that 15 years ago and bought a farm and some horses. I decline all invites to parties, weddings, baptisms and live on my own.

RevolvingPivot · 03/06/2021 22:56

I'd tell you but when I mention it I'm told I'm on drugs and asked who would play me in the movie. Mumsnet can really make you feel shit.

AlwaysLatte · 03/06/2021 22:56

We took a narrow boat holiday with the kids for half term and I've been fascinated by the houseboats I've seen. Wondering what it's like in winter, particularly. It's like a hidden world, this network of canals. For a single person or couple it must be quite a magical way of life!

MrsPetty · 03/06/2021 23:00

I live in a different country to my husband. I live on an island with our DDs 11&12 and he lives in a city where we have a business. We’ve never lived together but we did spend six months of the first lockdown together which is the longest time ever. We loved it and it was a really interesting experiment. We’re not sure if we’ll ever live together permanently but we spend all holidays together. We are very happily married and totally and utterly in love ❤️

AhTheStatelyHomeAgain · 03/06/2021 23:02

Haven't RTFT in full.

When I was in my teens I turned my back on my family old money and have an independent, normal life.

Said I would never take a penny from my parents and I never have.

Put myself through my qualifications & have a normal job. Married a kind man. Our DCs went to the local schools.

Not many people who know me know about my family.

AhTheStatelyHomeAgain · 03/06/2021 23:08

No! I'm not Prince Harry Grin

HollowTalk · 03/06/2021 23:11

@RevolvingPivot

I'd tell you but when I mention it I'm told I'm on drugs and asked who would play me in the movie. Mumsnet can really make you feel shit.
Tell us again!
theDudesmummy · 03/06/2021 23:18

@MrsPetty not quite the same situation as I have always lived with DH from the beginning of the relationship, but usually we were apart for most of the time as in both commuting and working long hours/ travelling for work Pandemic has meant we are in the same space pretty much all the time. It has been surprisingly good.

Bargebill19 · 03/06/2021 23:19

@AhTheStatelyHomeAgain

No! I'm not Prince Harry Grin
Is there anyone left who doesn’t Prince Harry and his family.??!!
Bargebill19 · 03/06/2021 23:20

Doesn’t know. (Doh)

IdreamofPilates · 03/06/2021 23:26

That is so funny!! Made me laugh out loud. But, as my Dad used to say, 'you can be miserable in comfort.' I guess your in-laws are.