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Feeling a bit violated and annoyed at myself.

98 replies

dullhouse · 31/05/2021 17:49

I feel like a bloody idiot. I had a boyfriend during my teens - we were friends before and after - but we have not spoken in at least a decade ('dated' nearly 20 years ago).
He'd recently made a social media post about being an uncle for the first time etc. So I messaged to say congratulations, I was friendly with his sister in my teens too. A simple conversation about what are lives are like now, during this exchange he did make a few odd comments and asked if I was divorced, which I am not, and replied as such - happily married two kids etc.

Said he was off to the pub. The conversation ended there, I wasn't expecting any further contact, just a polite, normal exchange between two people who once knew each other.

Then late that night, I get a stream of 'the one that will always have my heart' messages followed by a dick pic.

I don't consider myself a prude, but I dated and married way before tinder and the equivalent, so have never actually experienced an unsolicited picture, but it has really bothered me. I just blocked straight away, but feel really stupid for having the conversation in the first place, and a bit violated opening my messages to that.
(I told DH and he was disgusted, especially as we're all a similar age, and not youngsters!)
I just wanted to vent about how it made me feel like an idiot and I don't really want to mention it to anyone in RL because it feels so juvenile. I know this post sound positively Pearl-clutchy and I'm prepared to be told to get over myself, but a looking at a middle aged mans penis over the bank holiday weekend wasn't what I had planned.
We'd had sausages on the barbecue for dinner as well Envy(not envy)

OP posts:
skybluee · 31/05/2021 22:04

I would write 'gross' and block.

Budapestdreams · 31/05/2021 22:08

I never realised that it is just like flashing, you're right pps. Gross.

Superfoodie123 · 31/05/2021 22:23

Report to Facebook, how's that different from flashing someone in the street?

I would contact them

Dancingsmile · 31/05/2021 22:23

This is modern day flashing.
I am unsure why it isn't illegal as there really isn't any difference.
Why do many men think that sending a dick pic is fun ? What is going on in their thought processes ?

pinkpapaya · 31/05/2021 22:31

'Usually we’re talking about Wagon Wheels when we say this though'

@Sunbird24 this made me snort tea down my nose! I laughed so much!

BreakingtheIce · 31/05/2021 23:06

It’s abuse in my book. You need to tell him that.

noirchatsdeux · 31/05/2021 23:09

About 12 years ago I was talking to a guy on a forum connected to a tv programme which is/was made by the channel it turned out we both worked for - completely separate departments in different buildings, but I very occasionally visited 'his' building...he asked me for a photo to see if he recognised me, so I duly sent one...and received a dick pic in return...

This man was about 45 at the time, with a long term partner (who he is still with). I got talking to some other women working at the same channel and he was apparently notorious for sending dick pics and home made sex videos (yes, he regularly cheats on his partner). He stopped after sending it to one woman, who promptly showed her fiance who then went and visited him at work and threatened to knock his block off...

ShockOche · 31/05/2021 23:15

Thankfully never been on the receiving end, naive question, are these pics of the appendage standing to attention or at ease?? Either would be grim frankly, but always wondered…

QioiioiioQ · 31/05/2021 23:25

No wonder you felt violated, vile disgusting creep what a ridiculous chancer, how bestial and self indulgent and predatory🤮

HollowTalk · 31/05/2021 23:37

This really should be illegal. If he flashed you in the street you could tell the police - what's the difference?

justjuggling · 31/05/2021 23:46

That’s horrible OP, am glad you could share with your husband.

And this is why I will never ever do OLD again. For some bizarre reason they nearly all think that one look at their bits will send you flying into their arms. I just don’t why they think we want to see that??🤷‍♀️

Vodkaandballon · 31/05/2021 23:47

It's gross, not your fault in anyway. How on earth do some men come to the conclusion that because a woman exchanged some messages they want an uninvited picture of your cock. I think you did the right thing, no response & block. Dirty bastard.

BluePeterVag · 31/05/2021 23:51

I am also convinced that a high percentage of the “some women” who like it and request them are men catfishing other men.
It should be illegal.

Staffy1 · 31/05/2021 23:56

We'd had sausages on the barbecue for dinner as well

Grin
SinisterBumFacedCat · 31/05/2021 23:59

It would not cross my mind if I happened to reconnect with someone I fancied years ago to send them a picture of my vulva. Why the fuck do men do this? Men are really weird creatures Hmm

drinkingcherrywine · 01/06/2021 00:01

It's like when the cat proudly presents you with a decapitated mouse before you've had a chance to get your morning coffee.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 01/06/2021 00:04

I would keep a collection of previously received ones and then send a different one back to them with an enthusiastic "ooh are we exchanging dic pics 🤗"?

chaosrabbitland · 01/06/2021 00:05

its hideous . i dont know anyone that would be anything but repelled by having some blokes cock flashing up on their phone screen or pc , , why on earth would any man think this is a turn on to a woman i really dont know . im not a prude ,but this would not have been making me happy either

Holothane · 01/06/2021 00:06

What is wrong with people I’d have replied and no thanks I’ve seen bigger maggots, seriously though this not on, I’m lucky older now and didn’t do this sort of thing ever.

Theimpossiblegirl · 01/06/2021 00:08

@drinkingcherrywine

It's like when the cat proudly presents you with a decapitated mouse before you've had a chance to get your morning coffee.
That is so funny and spot on. Grin
drinkingcherrywine · 01/06/2021 00:08

It should be a chargeable offence - send a violating pic and have a £40 fine deducted from phone bill, maybe the police would bother more about stopping the sexual abuse of women and girls if there was money to be made.

JacobMarley · 01/06/2021 00:13

I would have been so tempted to reply “oh christ , much smaller than I remember , no thanks”

This ^^

CharlieParley · 01/06/2021 00:16

Gross.

You are right to feel pissed off. And I'm sorry that happened to you.

I've been asking around for quite some time and although men tend to assume women like to receive unsolicited dick pics, I've yet to meet a woman who will be swayed by one. Most are completely annoyed by dick pics, so much so that it's a reason to definitely avoid any further contact.

But this was particularly stupid. I mean what's the point? Re-connect with someone who freely states she's happily married with children. Respond with dick pic.

Why?

It does not compute.

The only logical explanation I can come up with is that men are that obsessed with their dicks, they assume we must be too. I'm about as straight as they come and no. Just no.

I honestly wish we could report this as sexual harassment. Coz that's what it is in my view.

HollowTalk · 01/06/2021 00:22

We need a Judge Judy courtroom for this sort of thing. Name, shame and fine.

PepperPiglet · 01/06/2021 00:27

He’s a misogynistic harassing you with this picture you didn’t request. Sorry this happened to you. You dodged a bullet all those years ago!

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