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Original poster

Working from home means I'm working!!!

54 replies

Workingfromhomemom · 29/05/2021 21:11

I'm sure I'm not the only one but I work from home still and will probably always now following Covid but why does no one seem to appreciate that Mon-Fri 9-5 I'm working. Not you can pop over now we can go in each other's home. Not I can run my child to here there and everywhere. Not I can drop everything and help you do something you're stuck on

If I was in the office you'd not call me or come in but because I'm home family do not actually understand I'm working. Trying to earn money that as a family we need.

I now end up working late or weekends just so I can catch up and not be the team member falling behind.

It's driving me mad!!!

OP posts:
WeAreTheHeroes · 29/05/2021 21:14

Who is it turning up and why don't you just tell them?

LindaEllen · 29/05/2021 21:17

I've been working from home since 2012 and STILL people think that means I'm available. My dad just turns up. He's literally said in the past that he doesn't ask because I'd say I was busy. Yeah - because I'm working! But I don't have the heart not to open the door or to tell him to go away because he's on his own .. and I'd just feel awful.

My mum has similarly got into sulks because I've said I can't come out for (a boozy) lunch when I'm working.

It's like they just don't get it at all.

MoiraNotRuby · 29/05/2021 21:19

My H interrupts me endlessly. "Just letting you know (random home thing that could have waited)"

I honestly can't stand it. I go to the office now for peace and quiet. He cannot/will not learn.

Original poster
Workingfromhomemom · 29/05/2021 21:36

@WeAreTheHeroes

Who is it turning up and why don't you just tell them?
Mainly it's my older teen kids who need me to put a certain piece of clothing on wash, run the to get stuff they've reserved at Argos etc etc etc. The reasons are always sudden to me, not planned in advance.

I've tried saying no, I'm working but they then constantly distract me till I either eventually give in and take an early lunch break or stop do whatever before going back to work. I don't give in easy but kids have nothing better to do once their college day is done to just keep chipping away at my concentration.

And I also have the same issue as a poster above but it's my mom calling me for chats as she's bored.

OP posts:
MistySkiesAfterRain · 29/05/2021 21:38

I've worked from home since 2016 pre Covid. Honestly it's down to you to be strict and give them boundaries. I say this from bitter learned experience.

DM rarely turns up and if she did I would be turning her away or she would be sitting alone. A parallel of this was she used to come round and walk straight over my carpet with shoes on. I literally would stand there and say No, on here (the rug) and watch while she took them off (this was after polite reminders didn't work). Honestly you'd think I'd asked her for a kidney, the fuss over it. I don't know why she kept forgetting but I somehow trained her through repetition and now she always takes them off unprompted! Chat with your Dad while walking him BACK to his car, and repeat 😂. DM also likes knowing when she IS next seeing me, so I try and have a plan for when that is. I also call her probably more often on the phone for a short catch up (often while doing house work on speaker).

I also have my mobile on Do Not Disturb between 9-5.30.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 29/05/2021 21:39

What about Do Not Disturb - Working on your door? Or an internal latch (possibly drastic but could help?!)

Disneyblue · 29/05/2021 21:42

Do you have an office? If so I'd be getting a lock for the door.
Surely your older teen kids can wash things themselves and take the bus to argos.
Say no, and if they keep asking, ignore them or put headphones on.

SellOurHouse · 29/05/2021 21:44

Stopped reading when I read it’s your older teen children who are incapable of washing their own laundry.

Hadalifeonce · 29/05/2021 21:45

I think you have to be more stubborn. They can put their own washing on, they can wait until you finish work for their Argos collection. Agree a time after work with your mother.
They need to understand that work us work, and you are not available for them.
I did this with DD recently, I told her an approximate time I would pick her up, suggested she go for a coffee, 3 times she called while I was at work, on the third time I told her I was at work, if she didn't want to wait a few minutes she was welcome to catch the bus home. ....she waited without calling again.

maddiemookins16mum · 29/05/2021 22:12

We had this with the EA selling our house….DH is WFH doing online training all day for health/social care.

The number of times they wanted to do viewings during the day was crazy, despite being told DH was working.

They just don’t get it.

newnortherner111 · 29/05/2021 22:14

You definitely need boundaries, both for home life and also for work life.

As for the estate agent, @maddiemookins16mum sadly that does not surprise me.

custardbear · 30/05/2021 02:10

You need to tell them no!

Wallywobbles · 30/05/2021 02:31

You possibly need to have a conversation about when you will be free/busy each week on a Sunday and then stick to it as rudely as necessary. 4 teens here. Disturbance very rare.

Weenurse · 30/05/2021 02:40

I am guilty of thinking DH could stack the dishwasher or throw in a load of clothes as he works from home.
He response is he is working and he won’t do it (and he doesn’t).
Stick to your guns.
Phone on do not disturb.
Note on the door that states unless there is a fire or someone needs an ambulance, do not disturb.
Good luck

QueenofDestruction · 30/05/2021 02:48

I am permanent work from home from before Covid, I have never abused working from home, because doing other things during working hours is exactly why some people are less efficient when working from home.it is you responsibility to make sure you are doing your work during working hours,

Really you are at work and you act the same as you would in an office as you are in your office. If a family member comes into my study it would only be for a real emergency anything else they know to wait until my lunch break or after work . The door is closed and I will lock it if necessary. I will not answer my personal phone but will listen to voicemail in case of an emergency. I do not do any non work related things, unless an emergency eg house is flooding, broken bones etc,,if this us the case I email work to let them know if its not in my lunch hour. I will not answer the door , unless at lunch. I wear earphones and listen to music whilst working when not in calls eo would not hear anyway. The issues you are having are caused because you have not placed boundaries

Aquamarine1029 · 30/05/2021 03:05

Sorry, op. This is all your own doing. Grow a backbone, lay down very clear boundaries, and let them fend for themselves.

MyDcAreMarvel · 30/05/2021 04:33

@Weenurse I am guilty of thinking DH could stack the dishwasher or throw in a load of clothes as he works from home.
He response is he is working and he won’t do it (and he doesn’t).
That’s completely different, your dh is just being lazy.

MollyGaves · 30/05/2021 05:40

Twenty year ago I was self employed and worked from home when not on site. It’s very hard to impress upon people that 9-5 are your working hours. I removed my doorbell in the end, a bit drastic and downright annoying sometimes.
I think you have to call a meeting and make a big thing of it. The alternative, no luxuries of what your wage brings to the family.
Then give the kids a lesson on how to use the washing machine etc. But then do not cave in if they do not take notice, eventually they’ll realise the only way to get it done is to do it themselves.

Weenurse · 30/05/2021 09:15

@MyDcAreMarvel he does it after he ‘clocks off’.
So during work hours I have learned not to expect it. After work hours, he happily does theses chores. (He still won’t fold washing though).

RoseMartha · 30/05/2021 09:41

For me it happens if i am wfh or not. Even in the office I am plagued with calls about the kids or my elderly parents and you can guarantee that if any have a hospital appointment it will be a day I work. And then I struggle to find time to make it up.

QueenofDestruction · 30/05/2021 21:32

It is not lazy, he is working the same as if he is at the office. People who expect people who wfh to do chores don't understand that they are working, and are exactly the type of people who should never be let to work from home because they would not work. You are paid to work not to do childcare or household chores, with these attitudes no wonder some workplaces are expecting people to return to the office.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 30/05/2021 21:54

I have older teens. They know that if I'm busy I will let them know and that they should leave me to it. If I'm not busy then they might come in for a chat, much like a colleague might chat at work.

I shut the door when I'm on calls or need to focus. I put my phone and laptop on Do Not Disturb.

If someone knocks on the door and I don't want to get dragged into chat or whatever then I answer the door with my phone to my ear and make it clear they're disturbing me at work.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 30/05/2021 21:56

I also rarely do dishwasher or laundry while at home. (I suspect I have ADHD and getting distracted would be fairly disastrous.)

I've never been called lazy for not doing it. Because I'm not lazy - I'm working.

MadMadMadamMim · 30/05/2021 21:59

kids have nothing better to do once their college day is done to just keep chipping away at my concentration.

College? Teens?

Don't answer the fucking phone would be my solution. How can you be so incapable of sorting this out. Presumably because they pester you and you give in, they keep doing it. Time they grew up.

DoTheNextRightThing · 30/05/2021 22:00

Yeah I had this last year WFH. My dad would turn up at my door and I'd say I can't come down I'm in a meeting and he’d be like "a meeting? But you're at home" YES A VIDEO MEETING it's so annoying