Working from home means I'm working!!!

[Workingfromhomemom]

I'm sure I'm not the only one but I work from home still and will probably always now following Covid but why does no one seem to appreciate that Mon-Fri 9-5 I'm working. Not you can pop over now we can go in each other's home. Not I can run my child to here there and everywhere. Not I can drop everything and help you do something you're stuck on

If I was in the office you'd not call me or come in but because I'm home family do not actually understand I'm working. Trying to earn money that as a family we need.

I now end up working late or weekends just so I can catch up and not be the team member falling behind.

It's driving me mad!!!

I am guilty of thinking DH could stack the dishwasher or throw in a load of clothes as he works from home.
He response is he is working and he won’t do it (and he doesn’t).

"Guilty" ?
Of course he could. He is just being lazy.

I've worked at home for much of my working week for years before COVID. It is very easy to load / unload the dishwasher whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, and to hang the washing out if it is a nice day. It is about time management. Makes much more sense for me to hang the washing out at 10am and have it drying all day, then work 10mins longer at the end of the day (or start 10mins earlier), rather than leaving the load sitting in the washing machine all day on some pretence of not being able to.

OP however, you need to be firmer with boundaries.

I don't stop to boil a kettle during my working day :-)

It's all very personal what works for each individual.

If I leave my desk then I find it really hard to restart working. I have an adjustable desk, so I can sit or stand, but physically leaving my desk for more than a couple of minutes breaks my focus really badly.

I can switch off mentally every so often by looking at FB or MN or similar, then jump right back into work. But if I go and boil the kettle and do the laundry then I'll just keep going with household tasks and really struggle to get back down to work.

I think that's an ADHD thing as DH can quite easily stop for lunch then restart. I rarely eat lunch if I'm working.

@ZZTopGuitarSolo

I don't stop to boil a kettle during my working day :-)

Me neither. I do take a leisurely stroll to the coffee shop for a latte though sometimes.

@MoiraNotRuby

My H interrupts me endlessly. "Just letting you know (random home thing that could have waited)"

I honestly can't stand it. I go to the office now for peace and quiet. He cannot/will not learn.

That's exactly why he's interrupting isn't it?

You have to say not just now I’m working sorry. Each and every time. The message will sink in. Eventually. But they will push boundaries. Keep the message the same.

I don't give in easy

Maybe, but you do give in so they'll keep doing it.

You need to put some boundaries in place, ones with consequences.

@SellOurHouse

Stopped reading when I read it’s your older teen children who are incapable of washing their own laundry.

Likewise!

Mainly it's my older teen kids who need me to put a certain piece of clothing on wash, run the to get stuff they've reserved at Argos etc etc etc. The reasons are always sudden to me, not planned in advance.

Just say no. And keep saying no..?

They should have learned by now that, when mum says no, she means it. Understanding that no means no is a valuable life lesson and not no means no unless you nag and pester enough.

Besides, they should have more respect for you as a person than to demand you drop everything during your working day for them!

And if they haven't learned that, it's because you haven't taught them.

PS before you put your new strategy of “no means no” into place, I’d warn your likely suspects that:
“there has been a change at work and they can monitor when you’re on the laptop as staff were slacking, so you will not be doing any favours during the working day for them at all. And although I’ve said no and relented in the past I can’t relent now. You need to deal with things yourself or ask me outwith working hours”.

That way when they pester you you don’t have to do the whole talk again just refer to “I told you already work are spying on my and I can’t help you please go away and sort it yourself. I’m not changing my mind”.

Brilliant, wish I had thought of that, though the some of these people doing all these chores when they should be working should remember that most work places can see when you log on , off are inactive.. shopping online instead of working...

Where is your mum?

It would seem that her being bored and your teens needing a taxi service could be a great combination.

Mainly it's my older teen kids who need me to put a certain piece of clothing on wash, run the to get stuff they've reserved at Argos etc etc etc
Unacceptable. They are teens. They can use the washing machine & it’s their stuff at Argos. They can get it.

I've tried saying no, I'm working but they then constantly distract me till I either eventually give in and take an early lunch break or stop do whatever before going back to work. I don't give in easy
Try harder and you obviously do give in.
Tell them No and mean it. As a PP said if you were at an actual office this couldn’t happen, so the same principle applies.

And I also have the same issue as a poster above but it's my mom calling me for chats as she's bored
Don’t answer your phone.

You just need to enforce strict ‘I can’t be disturbed between X and X’ boundaries because I AM AT WORK.

All you've done is teach them that if they go on long enough you'll give in. 🤷‍♀️

What you need to do is make a no a firm no.
Even if that means that at first it is still interrupting your work so much you need to work later. See that as a short term problem that will be solved when they realise that you absolutely will not budge.

Same with your mum.

My older teen makes me lunch every day. You need to sort your kids out.

What would annoy me here is that I can guarantee your older teens wouldn’t be haranguing a DH simply because they’d more easily accept that they were working and weren’t to be interrupted.

I do have this problem with my DDad and nothing has worked, I’ve even had him sat in the garden while I work past 5. He just moans and the worst thing is he is a recently retired senior manager so he knows all about working pressure. Apparently not mine though.

@SoLongSister

My older teen makes me lunch every day. You need to sort your kids out.

Inspired by this, I asked DD to make me lunch today. She did!

Brilliant, wish I had thought of that, though the some of these people doing all these chores when they should be working should remember that most work places can see when you log on , off are inactive.. shopping online instead of working

My managers actively encourage you to leave your desk either for 5 mins every hour, or for a good hour's walk in the middle of the day. Personally, I keep a note of the hours I work, and I 'stop the clock' when I leave my laptop. I don't have to - as I say, the management believe you should have some 'thinking time' away from your screen. We would normally drive from one meeting to another, or move from one 'client' to another during the day and haven't been able to do that for the last 15months. However, I feel if I am doing something for my household, then I don't do it on work time.
I don't "do all these chores" as is so sneeringly being said, but, as explained earlier, I just shift things sometimes as it makes more sense to hang washing out at 10am then 5pm.

So, instead of working 9 - 5, a break is added in at 10am and the finish time shifts to 9.15. Or another day I might prep the evening meal and put it in the slow cooker, whilst I am having my lunch.

As long as you work core hours and are generally available to answer e-mails and phone calls for much of the week, nobody minds if you choose to have a longer break one day, and give the time back one evening, or by adding 20mins on to each of the other days. It works well for the employers. I never take time off for dentist / Dr / hospital appts, as I just make a note of the hours I work over the week and continue to do what I am paid for.
I'm not sure why it bothers some posters that we use our time efficiently

I do laundry/the dishes or other quick chores when working from home. It breaks up the day rather than just sitting at the computer. In the office I reckon I waste more time with talking to coworkers, going to the canteen etc.

Tomorrow I will be spending my lunch break mowing the lawn.

We’ve been actively told to get up and do stuff to prevent eye strain, bad backs and generally going mad and that if we take 90 minutes to go for exercise then that’s fine so long as we make it up. But I’m lucky enough to work for a company that treats us like the adults we are and focuses on productivity (flip of course is that meetings sometimes go in outside core hours but that’s a quid pro quo for that flexibility).

I think you’ve brought this on yourself. Why do you jump up to do your teenager’s bidding? Purchases from Argos can wait. They need to understand that you won’t leap to do their bidding. They need to realise that actually, no, they can get it themselves (hello buses!) or wait til it’s convenient for you, not that they want it immediately. And omg, surely they know how to use the washing machine?

Why do you let your mum interrupt you? Why are you answering the phone? Believe me, having worked from home for 6 months in the past year, I would ignore calls/demands.

I had this last year but l think (eventually) people have got the message. There was a bit of shouting IM WORKING!!! Plus enforcing of boundaries. I’m doing the odd day in the office which has been handy, to remind people lm not around to do their bidding

That's great, your employers sound lovely. Unfortunately mine also encourages this but with the bane of billable hours, it just means working longer hours and I try minimise that.

@QueenofDestruction

That's great, your employers sound lovely. Unfortunately mine also encourages this but with the bane of billable hours, it just means working longer hours and I try minimise that.

Sorry answering Backforgood

Unfortunately mine also encourages this but with the bane of billable hours, it just means working longer hours and I try minimise that.

It isn't longer hours, or more hours though, it is using the hours you are awake most efficiently.
I've WOTH for decades, and it is a pain in the rear to have put a wash in before you leave for work, then come home to it still in the machine at the end of the day. Or not being able to put anything in for your evening meal until you get home. It always has been that way of course, until technology started to allow people to wfh for some or all of the week.
One benefit of wfh is that you can do stuff more efficiently (obviously depends on the job - there will be exceptions). Like many people, I sometimes have meetings, or am presenting training , or other factors which mean I must be in front of my screen at set times, but, - again, like most people I suspect - I also have times when I am picking up e-mails or writing up reports or preparing documents or data or adapting training etc. If I am paid a salary to work X hours a week, or if I am charging individuals or companies £Y per hour, it doesn't matter if I work 8 - 4 or 9 - 5 or 10 - 6, or if I start at 8 and finish at 6 but take a couple of hours off during the day. Or take 10mins out to do a job for myself and work 10 mins past the hour later on. I will still have done the same number of hours work for that client.