Me and my dh are 36 and have 3 kids, youngest is 3. We had dcs not super young but younger than our friends (we met very young, travelled loads, got degrees, post-grads while having babies so haven't missed out etc).
Anyway now all of our friends are either pregnant with number 1 , thinking about it or a few have their very new (under a year pfb). Thing is , it's always so , so fckn awkward now when we spend time together with our dcs. My dcs are absolutely lovely, very easygoing and very polite , they do have bags of energy but in a normal children way. My friends are at that baby in sling asleep all the time stage and when they call over and see my dcs bouncing around on a trampoline or running around loads like they do or asking me and my dh questions (they aren't very noisy or interfer at all with my friends and their babies ) honestly my friends look a bit horrified , comments like "wow they have so much energy, how do you keep up ? (my dcs are all male and all the babies so far are female , no idea if that has anything to with it). In no way are our dcs unusual, we are actually firm parents and they are very good kids.
They make me feel really self conscious and shit if I'm honest , they are visiting over the summer as we actually live in a nice location and have a holiday-let but feel like I'll have to hide my dcs away or something... they are all at first bump stage or have an immobile babies and can sit around loads etc. Obviously my dcs, particularly my youngest (two older ones 7 and 10 play and do their own thing) who is 3 is going to be wandering around , needing help with things, climbing up stuff as he does. My dh just tells me not to be so self conscious but I am, I can see the looks and stares if my 3 year old is stuck somewhere or running off etc...Like obviously your 4 month old is easy to watch...they can't move.....
There were comments like "so glad our dcs are so chilled and happy to play with a stick or chew on a block" , so were my babies but my 10 year old has moved on i guess.. Comments about my dcs watching cartoons (we won't be letting ours etc, bad for the brain), we limit TV.
I have to point out that all the events, meet-ups etc when we had babies were child-free so me and my dh would make loads of effort to attend weddings and meet ups by ourselves (we have family but they don't do babysitting). I absolutely adore dcs and I get that ppl will say that they had zero interest in other ppls kids pre their own or even now, maybe it's my culture or something but I find that really shit tbh. I take an interest in whats important in anyones life be it career, pets , hobbies , kids etc and when I went to uni my best friend was a single mum and we would meet in the playground for coffee or I would call over to hers in the evening with a bottle of wine as I thought this was normal. They made zero effort to way but now there's no question of them not bringing their dcs. I'm fine about it and totally accommodating.. It's weird though and just a bad atmosphere if I'm totally honest. I get that it's a very special, particular time with your first but I hate ppl that can't see from others perspectives.
Just wondering if ppl have similar experiences and how they handled it?