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is this racist?

102 replies

wingsnthat · 26/05/2021 18:58

Last month 7 new people started in my office, most of them are not white and have names relevant to their cultures. We work in the office btw so all of this is face fo face.

My line manager makes zero effort to pronounce their names and it’s even annoying me - I can’t imagine how they feel. Over the past month, he makes a song and dance about it. He walks up to the same individuals daily then pulls a face and says “you know I’m bad with names”. He then cycles through say 10 different incorrect names and then laughs it off as “being bad with names” when he’s told he got it wrong again. This happens multiple times a day, for the past month.

When he’s told their name, he just says he won’t remember. He’s even resorted to referring to some of my colleagues by their first initial or giving them a random name like Mike, John or whatever instead of taking the time to remember their names.

My manager finds this funny/a cute personality quirk, but I’m thinking it has to be indirect discrimination, if not direct discrimination? It’s not even as if the names are super long or difficult to pronounce. I don’t work closely with the new starters but I remember their names.

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 27/05/2021 07:12

It's the personality quirk commonly known as being a twat.

misscockerspaniel · 27/05/2021 08:28

It is neither funny nor cute. It is disgusting and should be called out. Shameful that people are being bullied - and this is bullying by a racist twat.

CoffeeCakey · 27/05/2021 08:50

Maybe suggest everyone has a name badge above their desk clipped onto their computer? It's common in some large organisations. But yes I'd report it to HR.

MoChridhe · 27/05/2021 08:54

Yes it is racist

HunterAngel · 27/05/2021 09:04

It’s definitely rude. Maybe he is bad with names but after a month I’d expect him to have made more of an effort to either learn their name. I’d be drafting a strongly worded complaint to HR and making an effort to call him on it. Maybe deciding you can’t remember his name and using another will make him realise what kind of impact he’s having

JingsMahBucket · 27/05/2021 09:26

@SimonJT that’s appalling and I’m so sorry you had to experience that.

AIMummy · 27/05/2021 09:34

In the 1980s, I had my name 'changed' slightly by my nursery teachers (an extra letter added) as they claimed they couldn't pronounce my simple 5 letter Indian name and it's stuck ever since. The only people who call me by my birth name now are my family. Too late to change it now, it's on all my education certificates, everything. Pretty sure I wasn't the only one they did it to.

moynomore · 27/05/2021 09:37

Whether it's racist or not (an it is racist in my opinion) it's horrible and makes people feel belittled. This person is a horrible manger.

1boo1 · 27/05/2021 09:45

If you're worried about your job then report this to HR anonymously ASAP

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 27/05/2021 09:46

sounds like casual racism to me, can't decide if he's being malicious or just ignorant.

I get that some names are hard to pronounce or remember.
I dare you all to pronounce Gyöngyi correctly (it's Hungarian)🤣

But he has no excuse to give them a new name, wtaf???
How are the people involved not complaining?

Kapalika · 27/05/2021 09:49

I can’t tell you if he’s racist, but it’s bloody lazy and very unprofessional.
I have a foreign (ish) name and 90% of the time it’s mispronounced and/or misspelt.
It irks me more as I get older tbh. To me it’s a lack of respect and due to this I double/triple check names in order to get them right.

Kapalika · 27/05/2021 09:50

Giving them a new name? Wtf? No, that IS. Racist. I’d be furious!

SoupDragon · 27/05/2021 09:51

The key thing is whether he remembers the "English" names. If not, you could gently tell him that he is "unintentionally" coming across as racist because he is only bad with names if they are foreign.

I say "gently" only in a faux way really. I think he absolutely is being racist and deserves a metaphorical slap but that might not be the way to start this.

IreallydontknowImtired · 28/05/2021 08:40

I'll suggest before taking action on anyone's behalf, speak to all of them - either separately or together, not just one or two of them - to let them know what you've noticed, what you want to do about it and ask their opinion as well.

Gabor · 28/05/2021 08:52

Definitely racist, rude inappropriate, disrespectful, dismissive and lazy. Does he forget the name of those with English names? I wonder if he would behave the same if the owner of the company had a foreign name. I am sure he would not be so rude and dismissive. I would definitely raise it and publicly in front of others. I would simply ask him openly do you think you would remember A, B , C and District name if there names were English? Just curious.. and leave it there. If he has any shame at all that would concentrate the mind. I'm sure your colleagues would be secretly very grateful. Maybe they are afraid to say anything because they have recently joined.

AlexCabot · 28/05/2021 14:55

If can pronounce Gloucestershire and Worcestershire and Aberystwyth then I'm sure he could manage a few names.

Would he struggle with Sinead? Or Siobhan?

Nonmaquillee · 28/05/2021 14:59

Yes, it’s racist.
And very disrespectful.
And embarrassingly rude.
If I were you I would start deliberately mispronouncing his name eg Phillip - pronounce it with a p rather than an f sound.
Pillip.
Then laugh and say, oh, sounds like pillock.

SengaMac · 28/05/2021 18:16

Nonmaquillee Grin Great idea!

Enroljas · 29/05/2021 04:48

My (Caucasian) nephew has been working in a local take away. The (Turkish) boss calls all the male workers “Mo” and all the female workers “Nisha ”. Is he racist??

CrazyNeighbour · 29/05/2021 04:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FelicityPike · 29/05/2021 10:22

@Enroljas

My (Caucasian) nephew has been working in a local take away. The (Turkish) boss calls all the male workers “Mo” and all the female workers “Nisha ”. Is he racist??
Yes! It’s the same thing.
AIMummy · 29/05/2021 12:40

@Enroljas

My (Caucasian) nephew has been working in a local take away. The (Turkish) boss calls all the male workers “Mo” and all the female workers “Nisha ”. Is he racist??
Hmmm this story doesn't make sense. Why would a Turkish person call the females by a Hindu name? 🤔
SilverBangle · 29/05/2021 19:37

Hmmm this story doesn't make sense. Why would a Turkish person call the females by a Hindu name

My DD’s best friend is called Nisha. Her family are Muslim

AIMummy · 29/05/2021 21:02

Ah ok SilverBangle, I was confused as the only Nishas I've met are Hindu. I did used to know a Muslim 'Anisha' though.

Worriesome · 29/05/2021 21:48

I’d be really offended if I were one of the people who’s name he “can’t remember”. Sounds racist to me especially if you can remember them yet he’s their manager x