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is this racist?

102 replies

wingsnthat · 26/05/2021 18:58

Last month 7 new people started in my office, most of them are not white and have names relevant to their cultures. We work in the office btw so all of this is face fo face.

My line manager makes zero effort to pronounce their names and it’s even annoying me - I can’t imagine how they feel. Over the past month, he makes a song and dance about it. He walks up to the same individuals daily then pulls a face and says “you know I’m bad with names”. He then cycles through say 10 different incorrect names and then laughs it off as “being bad with names” when he’s told he got it wrong again. This happens multiple times a day, for the past month.

When he’s told their name, he just says he won’t remember. He’s even resorted to referring to some of my colleagues by their first initial or giving them a random name like Mike, John or whatever instead of taking the time to remember their names.

My manager finds this funny/a cute personality quirk, but I’m thinking it has to be indirect discrimination, if not direct discrimination? It’s not even as if the names are super long or difficult to pronounce. I don’t work closely with the new starters but I remember their names.

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wingsnthat · 26/05/2021 19:32

Oh there’s definitely pressure on the new starters not to rock the boat. They’re all on temporary contracts and all understandably want to be kept on afterwards

Also I have tried calling him out gently. Eg saying “have you really forgotten his name again 10 minutes after he told you?” but he just laughs it off as he’s “soooooo bad with names”

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Ostryga · 26/05/2021 19:33

@HappydaysArehere

That is not kind or respectful. You don’t have to bring racism into it as it is just not on - period.
Yes you do. Pretending this is just rude instead of being horrifically racist is almost as bad.
Gilead · 26/05/2021 19:34

It’s racist and dismissing said racist element is also racist.

picturesandpickles · 26/05/2021 19:36

and dismissing said racist element is also racist

100% agree, makes me so mad when people try to minimise this kind of low-level racist shit like this.

mardymardymustard · 26/05/2021 19:36

it's disrespectful but I don't know if it's racist I'm mixed race but with a v. difficult to pronounce European name, this sort of thing irritates me but doesn't strike me as racist. Maybe he's even embarrassed by not being able to pronounce them I've got to say I had a friend with a very unusual name and I didn't say it aloud until we had been friends for months because I was so embarrassed I couldn't get the pronunciation right. Maybe he's unsure and trying to laugh it off?

I think everyone's being very quick to call him racist Hmm

ilovesooty · 26/05/2021 19:37

Both rude and racist.

ilovesooty · 26/05/2021 19:38

@Thisisjaaam

Meh
So you don't think rude and racist behaviour matters?
karmakemmie · 26/05/2021 19:40

@Thisisjaaam

Meh
Useful Hmm

As someone with a Nigerian name and years of it never being pronounced correctly I'd make an issue out of this. Manager needs to be called out.

SimonJT · 26/05/2021 19:41

Yes it is, racists who do this do it to make the person feel small, they will also often do it in a group, this makes it harder for people to speak up so the behaviour then becomes essentially accepted.

I have a British name (I’m Pakistani), I had a boss who would call me various ‘brown’ names, funnily enough he didn’t call the white people various ‘white’ names. Sometimes as an extra treat he would ‘pakify’ my British name by putting on a ‘Pakistani’ accent. He was only fired when he was racist in front of a client.

picturesandpickles · 26/05/2021 19:42

@mardymardymustard

it's disrespectful but I don't know if it's racist I'm mixed race but with a v. difficult to pronounce European name, this sort of thing irritates me but doesn't strike me as racist. Maybe he's even embarrassed by not being able to pronounce them I've got to say I had a friend with a very unusual name and I didn't say it aloud until we had been friends for months because I was so embarrassed I couldn't get the pronunciation right. Maybe he's unsure and trying to laugh it off?

I think everyone's being very quick to call him racist Hmm

The bit that is clearly racist IMO is giving them alternative 'British' names.
JonahofArk · 26/05/2021 19:42

Yes it's racist. In your shoes I would report. I wonder what he would do if people were to start calling him something completely different Hmm I'm not originally from the UK and pretty much nobody bothers to pronounce my name properly and it's infuriating. But at least they mispronounce my actual name-no way would I be happy with someone deciding to give me a completely different name.

wingsnthat · 26/05/2021 19:42

@mardymardymustard that’s an interesting perspective. But the situation in my OP involves a workplace where there are different rules as to what is considered discrimination vs a friendship like yours. In this situation the manager comes across their names daily, written and verbal, so it’s like he just refuses to take the effort to learn them?

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Notthissticky · 26/05/2021 19:43

@ilovesooty

Both rude and racist.
This. Please raise it through the appropriate channels, which I'm assuming is HR. It doesn't sound like a very professional workplace so please be extra careful not to do anything that could jeopardize your own job (if you've been there less than two years you essentially don't have a leg to stand on if they sack you with no/ a fabricated reason).
wingsnthat · 26/05/2021 19:47

@Notthissticky you’re absolutely right - this is why I’m torn. If I told you where I worked, you wouldn’t be surprised! If I report it now I’ll probably have a marker against my name. I’m currently job hunting, if I report it later when I leave, I’ll be letting this go on longer than it should

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Grumblesigh · 26/05/2021 19:47

At best, it is severely rude and unbecoming of a manager. So reportable for that alone.

Sounds racist as hell, too.

Ju11tne · 26/05/2021 19:49

@Babymamamama

It’s dreadful. Someone should report him. Why don’t you OP?
Exactly this.
RedMarauder · 26/05/2021 19:50

If you have called him out and he's been obtuse, have a word with HR.

Explain to them that by giving them random names especially random European names he is being "culturally insensitive".

HR will clearly know what you mean.

HR don't want reports on things like Glassdoor or on random forums that they are a racist company to work for as word does get out.

WelcometoJam · 26/05/2021 19:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

KaleSlayer · 26/05/2021 19:53

That is not kind or respectful. You don’t have to bring racism into it as it is just not on - period.

No one is ‘bringing racism into it’.... it just is racist.

Georgyporky · 26/05/2021 19:55

Just incredibly rude - regardless of ethnicity.

There was an episode of "Vera", when she was struggling with a multi-syllabic non-English name.

"So what does your Mam call you" - seemed yo solve the problem.

Todaytomorrowyesterday · 26/05/2021 19:58

I’m bad with names but always make an effort! As I have an Celtic name which many people say wrongly!

He’s just being racist (and ignorant)

GammyLeg · 26/05/2021 20:01

Racist. Report and also please mention on Glassdoor.

Etinox · 26/05/2021 20:04

Please report it. Take to ACAS and HR if you have it.

IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble · 26/05/2021 20:04

That's completely fucking racist and if you don't feel confident enough to call him out please report it.

Quirk my arse.

wingsnthat · 26/05/2021 20:06

I’m thinking to strategically call it out? Eg tell him “you’d probably get in trouble if anyone walked in and heard that” but in a jokey manner so I don’t get his back up? I hate office politics🙄

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