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Original poster

"You've lost weight" irritating.

66 replies

sadperson16 · 21/05/2021 18:07

Why do other women feel the need to comment and how am I supposed to respond.
I have lost a couple of pounds, so what?

OP posts:
SoapboxFox · 21/05/2021 18:15

I don't like it either. The flip side of the coin is 'you didn't look as good before but I never told you'!

SomeCatsLikeCheese · 21/05/2021 18:16

Exactly. I think some people think they’re paying you a compliment but I just hear “you used to be fat”.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 21/05/2021 18:16

I hate it too, although wish it were true right now!

Lizzie523 · 21/05/2021 18:17

My mum does this. Calls herself a feminist but comments on weight or what I'm eating.

Her mother was a 1950s housewife with typical views of how a woman should look for her husband etc. It rubbed off. As a millennial, I won't be carrying that attitude forward to my own children.

Blinkingbotheration · 21/05/2021 18:18

Yes, I’ve lost a huge amount of weight. It’s because I’m ill. I really don’t need it pointed out, thanks.

PegasusReturns · 21/05/2021 18:19

I’m afraid I love it.

It’s hard work losing weight and I’m delighted when I’ve lost a few pounds. I already know I wasn’t looking my best a few pounds over weight so I don’t take it as a criticism.

LizziesTwin · 21/05/2021 18:21

I find it really annoying as I’ve gone from BMI 22.5 to 20.5, so not that big a deal.

LubaLuca · 21/05/2021 18:22

A woman I don't see often said it to me yesterday at work, and I was thrilled. I thanked her for noticing.

bigbeatmanifesto · 21/05/2021 18:23

I hate it too,
Last summer I was called sickly thin, lost too much weight & looked ill (I was 9 stone an average weight for my height)
fast forward to now & I'm 8 months pregnant getting called huge, massive and probably will never be able to shift the weight funnily enough all comments have come from the same 2 people.

Justdowhatyouweretold · 21/05/2021 18:23

I hate it too!! I'm overweight and lots of people who I don't see very often seem to look me up and down as if they need to comment on my weight. I'm a bit of a yo-yo dieter so sometimes they mention that I have lost weight and sometimes not.

I fucking hate it! It makes me so self conscious!

Lottapianos · 21/05/2021 18:25

Hate it too. I lost quite a lot of weight a few years ago - I was really depressed and grieving and having a horrible time. It was like I became more visible to people, some colleagues could not stop talking about it. Made me so uncomfortable

If someone has lost weight and they're not talking about it, leave them alone. There can be all sorts of unpleasant reasons for weight loss

littlepattilou · 21/05/2021 18:28

Doesn't bother me... Like a couple of other posters, I take it as a compliment. And that's because I - like the VAST majority of people - look better slimmer. Much better than I do 4 or 5 stone or more overweight.

A bitter pill to swallow, but true nevertheless; most people look better when they're not fat.

Puppuppup · 21/05/2021 18:31

Yes I just hear them telling me that I used to think I was fat but didn’t say anything

NoSquirrels · 21/05/2021 18:33

My SIL is a horror for this. It’s learned behaviour though I’m sure as her father was the worst for it - he would always comment on my weight & appetite (“I don’t know how you eat all that”; “There’s nothing of you, have you lost weight” etc etc). It’s particularly infuriating as I’ve been this weight my entire adult life, pretty much, barring pregnancy. My MIL by contrast will never ever mention weight, probably because she struggles with it fluctuating. My DH and his family have many issues around food. I try not to be annoyed but gah!!

roguetomato · 21/05/2021 18:36

Don't know. If I lost weight by excercise/diet etc, maybe I would be happy to be recognised. But once I lost weight due to illness and it wasn't nice when people pointed out.

AlexaNeverListens · 21/05/2021 18:37

I hate it too.

When I hear those words, I hear "you look gaunt".

thefourgp · 21/05/2021 18:40

I hate it too and I never comment on someone else’s weight. It’s not a compliment - it’s an observation. A lot of people are self conscious about their bodies. I think it’s better to say ‘you look lovely today’ not ‘ooh, you’ve lost weight’.

pyjamas89 · 21/05/2021 18:41

I don't get the need to comment either, you can't be sure why someone has lost weight.

Someone I don't really know/rarely see at work commented on my weight loss recently. I found it awkward and rude so I must admit I replied 'My Mum has incurable cancer and I'm not very hungry' to be awkward back. It's not like others need to point it out to me!

NoSquirrels · 21/05/2021 18:42

Commenting on anyone’s weight is rude, basically.

If you mean it in a supportive and complimentary way, it means you thought they looked a bit shit before - fat or thin. No one likes that.

If you mean it in a concerned way (“You look unhealthy”) then weight isn’t the best way in to that conversation.

It’s not a hairstyle or a new dress.

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 21/05/2021 18:47

My mum's obsessed with me losing weight. Everytime I see her she asks how my diet is going. It's not, I'm not dieting. She knows this but she desperate for me to be her controlled "blonde barbie" like when I was 17.

She goes "how much have you lost this week?" I respond cheerfully with "I gained 2 pounds Grin"

FYI I'm a healthy weight but I should be a least 3 stone lighter in her mind.

PegasusReturns · 21/05/2021 18:50

I’m astonished at the number of people that find it so objectionable.

I only say it to people I know well, but I’ve never had anyone be less than thrilled it’s been noticed.

Frownette · 21/05/2021 18:51

Same as some PP, I need to put on weight due to illness, am fully aware of it and would dislike having that said to me

hellywelly3 · 21/05/2021 18:53

I hate it! I’ve always been larger. A couple of years ago I was very ill and weight just fell off me. I used to dread going to school pick up. One woman especially used to shout across the playground “how many stone have you lost now”. When I explained to her and few other mums I was actually very ill and wasn’t trying to loss weight they all started saying they wished they could get what I’d got!

InTheGreatGreenRoom · 21/05/2021 19:02

People kept telling me I looked great when I had hyperemesis and couldn't eat and was losing weight and feeling awful physically and mentally. It made me feel like they didn't really care about me as they weren't asking how I was they were telling me I looked better for being thinner as if that's what matters.

Divebar2021 · 21/05/2021 19:05

I’ve lost 2stone and am irritated that the majority of my colleagues at work have not mentioned it. WTF. I’ve worked bloody hard and yes I was fat before. My hairdresser who hasn’t seen me for 6 months has just said I look really good so I’m happy. I don’t find your OP logical at all I’m afraid.