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Original poster

DD and first period

81 replies

BlatantlyNameChanged · 15/05/2021 20:24

I promise I'm not the period troll. I'm not here for period stories or sharing of period experiences. I'm not hairy handed and fishing for details. I just want some advice about DD.

DD is 9, almost 10, and has just started her first period. She's been going through some physical and emotional changes for a good few months now, at her last appointment for an unrelated matter the GP mentioned as an aside that she appears to have started puberty, so it's not a total shock but it's still blindsided me a bit. She's nine. At nine I was still playing with Barbies and didn't even know what a period was.

We've always been open about where babies come from, human bodies, and so on. After that GP appointment we got a book about puberty and read it together, I told her she can come to me with any questions, she doesn't need to be embarrassed or ashamed, it comes to us all, it's part of growing up and growing up is rubbish sometimes but it all pays off in the end, all that stuff. I've repeated it all to her today and reminded her again that she can talk to me about anything at any time, I will never be too busy to take her somewhere private for a chat if she needs a chat. I've also suggested reading the book again either together or by herself.

She doesn't want to. She doesn't to talk about it, she doesn't want to acknowledge it, she told me it actually started yesterday and she's been hiding it, she doesn't want it, she's not doing it, she isn't ready, she wants to be a kid, she can't do this every month. I'm trying to keep positive but she's genuinely gutted about it.

Her school are shit (she's moving schools but not for another few months) and I have no doubt they will massively balls up on giving her somewhere to change and allowing her to bring products in. There are no sanitary bins in the children's toilets and backpacks are currently banned because of covid. She doesn't want anyone to find out about this either as she says she's the only one in her class.

So advice bit.

Is nine too young? Should I see the GP and ask if there is anything they can do to delay it by another year or two? Would period pants be better than sanitary products and do they actually work? Where can I get them from? Is there anything I can do or say to help her through this other than my current cheerleader routine?

OP posts:

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 15/05/2021 20:26

No advice but a handhold. I have an 8 year old who I think is going to be very early. I want to cry about it. They're so very young

Original poster

BlatantlyNameChanged · 15/05/2021 20:29

Aren't they? It feels like too much and I wish she could have had another few years to reach the stage of actually wanting to grow up rather than having it handed to her at this age.

OP posts:

Happycat1212 · 15/05/2021 20:29

My daughter has just started she Only turned 10 in March and has autism so even harder. I’m going to speak to the about delaying it.

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Families

PrettyCherryBlossom · 15/05/2021 20:31

DD is 11 and uses modibodi period pants. She wears one pair for school then changes them when she comes home. It means she doesn’t need to think about changing pads or anything while she’s at school. They were quite pricey but well worth it for the reduction in her anxiety. She tells me they’re her most comfy pants as well which is a bonus!

seekingadvice23 · 15/05/2021 20:33

My DD is nine and I feel like it will be soon. Shes been wearing deodorant for nearly 2 years and has begun to get hair down there. Absolutely petrified of it happening.

Merchymor · 15/05/2021 20:35

Sadly nine isn't too young.

I was a bit older but also hid it as I didn't want to face it.

My parents had an excruciating conversation with me but I did eventually realise I had to face up to it.

Maybe get a selection of products, tell her what they all are and leave her with them to have a look at?

PrincessesRUs · 15/05/2021 20:35

I'd call the school and talk to her teacher - they have to let her use a toilet with a bin and they have to let her bring a bag in!! I was fiercely embarrassed about periods when I started and would smuggle stuff into the toilet stuffed up my sleeve as my uniform had no pockets - maybe check she has a dress with decent pockets and talk through how she's going to manage it all and that it's nothing to be ashamed of but she also has every right to keep it very private if she wants to. It might be tough at primary as they don't necessarily change classses/rooms every lesson - when I started I had to change every hour as it was so heavy but fine at secondary as you could nip to the loo easily. Again - you need to chat to the teacher - this won't be the first time they've had to deal with it.

Original poster

BlatantlyNameChanged · 15/05/2021 20:36

I don't even think she has the capability to deal with it at this age. I have to nag her to brush her hair and her teeth and wear clean socks, I don't know how she's going to manage sorting this out when I'm not there to remind her about it.

OP posts:

DinosaurDiana · 15/05/2021 20:37

Get her some period knickers, she should only need to change when she gets home from school.

Merchymor · 15/05/2021 20:38

@BlatantlyNameChanged

I've not tried period pants myself but they may be the way to go? Especially if she doesn't need to change them all day.

PrincessesRUs · 15/05/2021 20:38

Also (I'm a teacher) teachers won't leave kids in a mess, I've had to quietly have a word with girls before about leaks and changing clothes etc and it's fine

Original poster

BlatantlyNameChanged · 15/05/2021 20:39

I told her earlier that she can stay home on Monday while I speak to school about it.

Modibodi came up when I googled, trying to work out her size. Maybe a 4? Hoping she'll be able to avoid changes at school altogether with those. I did try telling her that she might not get another for months now as it takes a while for them to get regular, she did not find it a comfort.

OP posts:

Happycat1212 · 15/05/2021 20:41

Months?! I wouldn’t count on that. My daughter started 2 weeks ago and is already started again. I thought it was suppose to be monthly. Also the when I was looking at period knickers it said you still need to wear pads with them which surely defeats the purpose

NotAnotherPushyMum · 15/05/2021 20:42

Almost 10 is a perfectly normal age, albeit on the younger side of the normal range. Girls generally cope in school much better than parents imagine they might, but period pants is a good plan, to lessen any anxiety about it.

(As a complete aside, how did you not notice she was going through puberty, and need the doctor to point it out?!)

Helenluvsrob · 15/05/2021 20:43

Period pants. Will probably last all day for her.
M&S and Sainsbury’s have them

Lovemusic33 · 15/05/2021 20:46

My dd2 was 10 and autistic which made it harder, luckily her periods were not regular to begin with (still aren’t really now either) so she only had a period every 3 months, I would keep her home on heavy days as she was unable to change or remember to change due to being severely autistic. She’s now 15 and we have discovered period pants, I would highly recommend them, if she’s not too heavy she could get way with not changing at school, if heavier she could wear a pad and the period pants. My dd doesn’t change at school even though she’s at a sn school and I have asked them to remind her.

My eldest was 11 and also struggled, she started a few weeks before she finished primary so again I let her stay home, once at high school it was much easier.

OwlTwitterings · 15/05/2021 20:47

I started when I was eight and had no idea what had happened to me. It was really frightening. You’ve definitely done the right thing by preparing her for this.

I’ve also recently started wearing period pants and am completely converted. You can get some that hold a lot (they are also suitable for urine leaks as well, they are that good). I get mine from M&S and Sainsbury’s but I’m not sure if you will need somewhere more specialist for her size. However, I really recommend them and they just look like plain black knickers with no sign at all of being anything else. A pair has lasted me all day before and I get some really heavy periods. I wish they had been around when I was a child.

Lovemusic33 · 15/05/2021 20:48

@BlatantlyNameChanged

I told her earlier that she can stay home on Monday while I speak to school about it.

We use midibodi, I bought the bundle for dd2 a few weeks ago and they are brilliant. They do a teen range, go for the smallest size, they come up a bit big.

Original poster

BlatantlyNameChanged · 15/05/2021 20:48

They were early signs. A spotty back that I presumed was a reaction to something and greasy hair which I thought was her not rinsing properly. The GP noticed both along with some nipple changes, not breasts or breast buds as such just a slight swelling around them, and said it was puberty starting.

OP posts:

atracurious · 15/05/2021 20:49

Oh bless her. Period pants will make a massive difference. I started mine very young and I wish I'd had them as they just make everything a lot more comfortable.

cherrypiepie · 15/05/2021 20:51

Primark now sell affordable period pants.

Notcontent · 15/05/2021 20:56

The modibodi period pants have a teen range, which is called RED, and they have small sizes. They are not cheap but they are very good and might make things easier for your dd.

Chillychili · 15/05/2021 20:56

Poor her I was still playing Barbies at 13 let alone 9. I have just started using period pants, I put a pair on in the morning, with a view to change them before going out at lunch, I forgot and was in them for 12+ hours with no leaks or smells. I use wuka, I am a size 6-8 and got xs, I would imagine the xxs would fit a uk 4.
Primark are also now doing period pants so they may also be worth checking out.

starrynight21 · 15/05/2021 20:57

@Happycat1212

Period pants don't need a pad as well.

Notaroadrunner · 15/05/2021 20:58

Such a young age to start. Does she wear skirts or trousers to school? If trousers, at least if the period knickers were a bit too big they won't slip down or feel loose. If she wears a skirt get a pair of legging style shorts to wear under her skirt or just cut a pair of leggings to the acquired length. That way they'll feel more secure.

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