Jesy Nelson Why didn't we stop the bullies?

[Anordinarymum]

When I say 'we' I mean we as women.
She's the one who recently left the the girl band 'Little Mix'.

It is fairly common knowledge that she was subjected to online abuse from trolls since they won the X-Factor back in 2011. She has been called fat and ugly and has had horrible things said to her over time which resulted in her wanting to end her life and now for the sake of her mental health has left the band.

Yes she is a bigger girl - so what? I always thought she was the best thing about the group and when ever they were on the TV it was her we looked at mainly because she is a stunningly beautiful young woman.

I wonder why society turns it's back on people like her when we know something is not right, much the same as with Britney Spears.
What should we do to support people in the public eye who are abused simply because of the way they look and/or their dress size?

It seems to me that nobody cared and that makes me sad. If it were my daughter I would wonder why this sort of thing happens and nothing is done to stop it.

I agree with you but she's a young woman who will want to use SM to keep in contact with her friends. She will need a way to keep her celebrity gossip knowledge current so that she's not confused in interviews or when she works with other celebrities.

In movies and tv, the Queen and Prince are often shown reading the papers over breakfast. I suspect that they fill in the rest of the family about what they read - especially Charles who's the heir. While newspapers and magazines are easier to avoid than the Internet Princess Diana probably had paparazzi shouting goady questions at her and her friends contacting her when stories broke.

@ForThePurposeOfTheTape

I agree with you but she's a young woman who will want to use SM to keep in contact with her friends. She will need a way to keep her celebrity gossip knowledge current so that she's not confused in interviews or when she works with other celebrities.

In movies and tv, the Queen and Prince are often shown reading the papers over breakfast. I suspect that they fill in the rest of the family about what they read - especially Charles who's the heir. While newspapers and magazines are easier to avoid than the Internet Princess Diana probably had paparazzi shouting goady questions at her and her friends contacting her when stories broke.

Yes I hear you too, but when a young woman feels she is so worthless that she attempts to take her own life enough is more than enough which is why I started this conversation.

I read what you said but you said she is a big girl .. she isn't !

Realistically I can only make a difference if I know the troll in real life but most are anonymous which probably makes it even worse for the victim as it could even be someone that they know.

Of course it's unacceptable that trolls were so vile that it drove Jesy to the darkest places possible but your title suggests that women could have done something and I'm not sure what that is.

@ForThePurposeOfTheTape

Realistically I can only make a difference if I know the troll in real life but most are anonymous which probably makes it even worse for the victim as it could even be someone that they know.

Of course it's unacceptable that trolls were so vile that it drove Jesy to the darkest places possible but your title suggests that women could have done something and I'm not sure what that is.

We could have complained a bit more to anyone who would listen. The music industry could take a more responsible role in ensuring that young stars are protected/shielded in such a way that they do not feel alone. For starters

@huuuuunnnndderrricks

I read what you said but you said she is a big girl .. she isn't !

Read what I said

Most people don't stop bullies because if you do, the bullies turn on you instead. We don't punish bullies in school and this is the result - adults who behave like monsters to others.

Also, I have found, to my cost, that if you are in any way involved (as a witness, bystander whatever), then you get crapped on anyway. The best strategy is avoiding the situation altogether.

Often the bullies aren't punished because they are considered victims in a different sense which means you can't eradicate bullying.
There are schools that claim to have no bullying because the children have organized playtimes with an adult supervisor but that delays the bullying until the kids walk home alone or go to secondary school imo.

@aiwblam

Most people don't stop bullies because if you do, the bullies turn on you instead. We don't punish bullies in school and this is the result - adults who behave like monsters to others.

Also, I have found, to my cost, that if you are in any way involved (as a witness, bystander whatever), then you get crapped on anyway. The best strategy is avoiding the situation altogether.

I agree with you, but you would have thought we all learned a lesson after what happened to Caroline Flack

I don't know if there is something I am unaware of but there is a horrible trend on twitter absolutely slating Jesy, bringing up every slightly wrong thing she ever said or did and accusing her of 'blackfishing'. It has made me feel really uneasy.
She started on x factor so everyone should know her background.
She has spoken openly about her mental health struggles. How dare people be so cruel, all piling on with hate.
I am not a fan by the way, it has just made me feel so sad that the world is like this. And these trolls are the first to start posting 'be kind' in the aftermath! As with Caroline Flack.

There has been a really disgusting Buzzfeed article written about Jesy, accusing her of all sorts that is being shared all over Twitter. It's also really nasty about Perrie's looks as well. And now lots of calls for Jesy to be 'accountable for her wrongdoings'.

Just fuck off and leave the woman alone for fucks sake.

Blackfishing is a problem that shouldn't be ignored though.

@Jongleurterre

If she were my daughter I would wonder why she kept posting photos of herself in unflattering underwear style outfits with her mouth open and then saying she was bullied because people kept saying her outfits didn’t suit her or were unflattering.

Why the need to constantly seek validation and not be able to take the negative along with the positive comments?

She only wanted people to make flattering remarks but as we all know social media isn’t like that and there will always be people who either post their honest opinion which you may not like or agree with or are deliberately mean just for the sake of it.

Trolling and making mean comments is pathetic but she wanted to provoke a reaction by having her photo taken nearly every day in her bra top.

What a nasty piece of work you sound.

@SunshineSuxx

I personally have a lot more respect for artists/celebs who let their PR companies deal with their social media.

I felt sorry for Jesy, but also feel that she should have been steered away from SM as soon as the trolling started.

She's an adult, not a 12 year old. We all make choices.

She said in her documentary that the record company made them all.have social media accounts and update them regularly.

I think Little Mix were initially with Simon Cowell's record company, SyCo, which is notorious for treating its artists like absolute crap.

I don't really know little mix my kids weren't big on them so couldn't tell you a song of theirs or ever watched x factor, but I never understood why people who dislike these groups go online to troll them, if I didn't like something I'd avoid it like the plague.
Nobody should be belittled or picked on for who they are. And these trolls were obv jealous of her.

@Waxonwaxoff0

Blackfishing is a problem that shouldn't be ignored though.

The article isn't just about blackfishing though, it is combing over absolutely loads things she has said and done over years and years (talking about 'slut shaming' Sporty Spice FGS) and is now calling for her repentance. Plus it talks about about Perrie's 'tanning fails' and how her 'makeup didn't benefit her'.

These are the exact same people who wang on about 'kindness and compassion'.

I looked up jesy, she clearly isn't a size 10 but she isn't a big girl either, she's just one of those women where the fat goes to chest, thighs and hips.. As opposed to chin, tummy and arse.. So she's curvy but not big and not a size 10.. Possibly 14 at most. So normal average woman.