...what are the main reasons for that?
I’ve got 3 sons and no daughters. They are all lovely kind affectionate little boys and one day (I hope) they’ll grow up, get married and have kids of their own. I hope that I’ll have a good relationship with their future little families but there are so many negative MIL / DIL relationships on Mumsnet it seems like the norm and that worries me.
It doesn’t help that I also have a terrible relationship with my ILs and DH and his sister have very little meaningful contact with their parents (although their childhood was ok)- For us I think that’s down to the IL’s behaviour since we had our first DS and I’ve certainly learnt how not to behave towards a future daughter-in-law from them.
On the flip side, my own mum has two DILs and my DH and has a great relationship with all three of them. Trying to pinpoint why, I think it’s because she genuinely cares about them and it shows. She’s open minded, easy going, selfless and helpful. She’s got a good sense of humour and it all makes for a very relaxed relationship.
Is it the case (as in my experience) that a good or bad relationship with adult children is earned (whether they are male or female) or is there something in the old saying “a son is a son until he meets his wife...”?
I’d love to hear from people who get on well with their MILs, you don’t hear so many of those stories on Mumsnet but maybe that’s because people don’t post as much if everything is fine.