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Do you like your siblings?

122 replies

LuckyMcDucky · 11/05/2021 17:06

Just that really!

I like one of mine. The other one I love, but don't like very much, with, imo, good reason.

OP posts:
merrymelody · 12/05/2021 02:10

Nope. NC after Dad died.

wandawaves · 12/05/2021 02:15

Nope to both siblings. One I've finally cut out of my life (I'm ashamed I didn't do this 20+ years ago though), and the other I say hi to if I see him in the street, but that's it.

KangarooSally · 12/05/2021 07:59

What an interesting thread!

Close to both of my sisters, see one 1-2 times a week and the other 0.5-1 times a month as she prioritises social life over family. We were very different as kids and fought a lot but get on now. The one I see now often I also get along with her husband well and the one I see less often, her husband is a bit weird and has no interest in our family so I see him like 2 or 3 times a year if that.

LuckyMcDucky · 12/05/2021 08:40

It is an interesting thread. I think when you're younger and both parents are around, you are made to feel as if you have to be best friends for life with your siblings, which isn't realistic for everyone. It's lovely to read that some people do have that though - genuinely lovely, as I have two DCs myself and obviously would love it if they were close when they grew up, but I sure as hell won't pressure them if they aren't. That way tension lies!

I think a lot of people who are friends with their siblings have said that they don't live in each others pockets, which I think is maybe something to do with it. There are some who do enjoy a good relationship and do see an awful lot of each other, but I think most of the people who have said they like their siblings don't see too much of them... But maybe I'm wrong about that. I haven't sat down and counted or anything!

The sibling I'm closer to, I do actually speak to every day, but I think that's because we are both SAHPs with similar aged DCs. When we go back to work, we probably won't talk so much, which will be sad, but fine and part of life.

Also interesting that some people who don't have any or a particularly close relationship with their siblings are happy enough with that as long as they don't have to see them! I can relate to that tbh. I feel the same about one sibling and also some of our more distant relatives - I only see them at funerals these days and it works perfectly, although growing up, I always thought we'd stay in touch more. I lost one of my parents fairly young, so I think that side of the family naturally drifted away a bit.

OP posts:
MoesBar · 12/05/2021 08:43

I have 4 siblings, I’m the eldest.

The next one down, very close to now but had a fraught and NC relationship when they were younger due to drug use - however they’ve been clean for 5 years now, have completely turned their life around.

The next one down - totally NC, have been for years for very good reasons.

The next two are twins and a decade younger than me - don’t really have an opinion as I don’t know them very well, and haven’t seen either of them for 3 years.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 12/05/2021 08:56

I love my Dsis to bits.

She lives in USA but we whats app and chat a lot/daily and before lockdown we had gotten into a great rhythm of visiting each other or meeting somewhere else pretty frequently.

We are the only ones who understand our lives, parents etc. the way we do and she is one of the most important ppl in my life.

*disclaimer-as teenagers we wanted to kill each other so it wasn't always all unicorns and roses!

MysteriousMonkey · 12/05/2021 08:57

I have two. One older who I have never met (their choice) and one younger who I like and get on brilliantly with but rarely see due to distance. I also have a cousin who I was brought up with and we get on well.

RestUp · 12/05/2021 09:00

I love and like my siblings but we are siblings, not friends.

Sassanacs · 12/05/2021 09:00

Nope

Branleuse · 12/05/2021 09:05

I dont get on with my brother. Hes hated me for years as he thinks my mum spoiled me and I think he thinks theres a golden child type thing going on, which I dont think is true, but thats his perception. Ive tried very hard, but I dont want anything more to do with him, but I dont hate him either. I wish him happiness etc, but im not sure he will ever truly find it.
I consider some of my cousins to be more siblings to me than he ever was

LuckyMcDucky · 12/05/2021 11:23

@RestUp

I love and like my siblings but we are siblings, not friends.
Sorry, what does that mean please? Do you mean you wouldn't be friends with them if you weren't siblings or that you just don't think of them in those terms?
OP posts:
Paspourmoi · 12/05/2021 11:36

They’re my favourite people in the world other than my children, parents and DH, and not being able to see them has been the hardest thing about this year. No one makes me laugh like my sisters do, and we’d all do anything for each other. DH and his sister are very close too.

Dacquoise · 12/05/2021 11:38

My DM ensured we don't get on as adults through her pitting us against each other as children. I was her scapegoat from a very young age and she actively encouraged my older brother to treat me with the same distain whilst foisting parenting responsibilities onto me for my younger sister. As a result I spent years seeking validation from my brother and feeling responsible for my sister.

Now I don't bother with either of them as they bring nothing but unhappiness and issues. I was lucky in a way, as the scapegoating made me very independent and resilient. My brother treats other people with a mixture of indifference and callousness, just like my mother, and seems amazed that I don't want to know anymore. My sister has big issues with debt and money management but sees herself as a helpless victim. I wouldn't choose them as friends and can see nothing to be gained from being in contact which is a shame but incurable.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 12/05/2021 11:40

I don’t see or speak to him enough to have an opinion on him, we’re very distant indeed. As adults, we maybe speak once every 10yrs.

bookworm14 · 12/05/2021 12:03

I get on well with all my siblings. I do find it interesting how many don’t, though - I’d say at least half the respondents on this thread have a poor or no relationship with their siblings. Rather gives lie to the idea that if you have an only child you’re depriving them of something essential!

TakeMeToKernow · 12/05/2021 12:05

Nope. And for no good reason, which makes me feel so so sad Sad

Tinacollada · 12/05/2021 12:07

Both of my half - siblings are not very nice adults.

LuckyMcDucky · 12/05/2021 12:07

@bookworm14

I get on well with all my siblings. I do find it interesting how many don’t, though - I’d say at least half the respondents on this thread have a poor or no relationship with their siblings. Rather gives lie to the idea that if you have an only child you’re depriving them of something essential!
Yes! I agree completely. Nothing wrong with stopping at one at all imo.
OP posts:
Picklypickles · 12/05/2021 12:09

They're ok I guess! I have 2 (half) brothers and they are 5 and 8yrs younger than me, the youngest is quite similar to me in that he is very quiet and keeps himself to himself and the older one is more outgoing and annoying but he's growing up and has a family of his own and we get on pretty well! In fact I've really come to appreciate just how normal they are when compared to my partners brothers, we don't get much in the way of family drama at all!

LuckyMcDucky · 12/05/2021 12:12

I've really come to appreciate just how normal they are when compared to my partners brothers, we don't get much in the way of family drama at all!

I think my dp thinks this about his (normal) siblings compared to my family! I am not especially close to his siblings, but there is zero drama, which I appreciate them for a lot.

OP posts:
Orangebug · 12/05/2021 14:05

We're fond of each other and would be there for each other in a crisis, but we don't have much in common in terms of either personality or interests. We stay in touch a bit by WhatsApp but rarely meet up.

Orangebug · 12/05/2021 14:18

We're fond of each other and would be there for each other in a crisis, but we don't have much in common in terms of either personality or interests. We stay in touch a bit by WhatsApp but rarely meet up.

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