How far does your teenager have to walk to school?

[Forgetmenot82]

DS14 hates walking to school - it's approx 0.9 miles. I still have to take my other dc to Primary School by car. I have in the past taken my son a slightly to school by car before my daughter but its a bit out of the way and get stock behind school buses etc...so I've started to say my ds has to walk now. Am I being a hit mean not taking him? Anyway I'm just wondering how far do your dc walk to school or do you drive them when they could easily walk?

It's easy to say your ds is being spoilt and entitled but teenagers.. what can you say.

Maybe he could cycle or you step count using his mobile (and maybe compete with you or his dad or get a small reward for certain number of steps made during the week).

0.9 miles is nothing but he seems to lack the motivation, which is the bigger issue. Personally I'd not be inclined to drive him, it's much healthier for him to walk and he will be more independent.

1.7 miles now, but 2.1 before we moved house. No buses going in the right direction. Have only driven them if we were going somewhere afterwards.

@SaffyWall

2.5 miles each way for DS12. He knew this would be the case before starting at secondary school and to be honest it's done wonders for his confidence - he meets up with various different friends/has made some new friends and has had to deal with some bad weather but copes well. I occasionally pick him up if he has something after school, but otherwise he sorts himself out.

That's great! Ds hadn't found anyone to walk with yet and he's in yr 9 :-( I think it would help if he had mates to talk with on the way..

13yo cycles 6 miles each way.
16yo walks about 1.8 miles total each way, but broken up by train journey.

Is he being bullied on his way to school?

My teen was like this until we moved to a nicer area/walk to school. I'm not suggesting you do this, but they found the walk and busy roads very stressful. I know what it feels like to get that call or moan or text about it. Not quite sure how you'd solve it, but our 6 yr old walks 1.2 miles to school and 1.2 miles back, so it's obviously not a physical thing as most have said. It's so much easier when they get themselves to and from school.

My DS walks just over a mile, it could be slightly shorter but he wants to walk with his best friend so he makes a detour to get him first. If it's pouring down I will drive him, otherwise he's happy to walk.

When you say he's worried about traffic I assume he's walking down urban roads with pavements and crossing points, not a 60mph country road with no pavements?? Could you do the walk with him one weekend and make sure he's using safe places to cross etc?
He needs a plan to get himself ready on time in a morning - bag packed the night before, lunch / snacks in the fridge to grab & go, uniform hanging on the wardrobe and socks / pants out ready so all he has to do is get up, shower, eat breakfast and leave the house.
Would listening to music or a podcast help to take his mind off the walking?

The step counter idea from pp is a good one.

In fact there's a website called Conqueror through which you can do on-line walking challenges like Hadrian's Wall. There's facts and rewards and stages along the way. My teens did two of them recently and it really helped with their motivation for lockdown walks.

www.theconqueror.events/hadrians/

^mine used to make themselves deliberately late too, so I'd give in and we'd all be late. I did start leaving quite a bit earlier so they couldn't do this. A lot of it was the effort of the walk. It's so hard because I was exactly as torn as you are!

My Y8 is at school 1.2 miles away. In theory I could drive her, but I never have. I think it is much better for her general health to be out walking twice a day rather than sitting in the car, & I think it’s good for her independence to make her own way to places.

OP - it sounds tough, you have my sympathies.

Just a thought - have you spoken to the school? My DS's school used to do a 'transport to school' survey twice a year at parents evening. You had to fill it in before seeing any teachers. It asked how your child travelled to school. I know the school was able to 'buddy up' children that were travelling in the same directions. When he was in Y8 and Y9, my DS became a travel buddy for a couple of younger pupils.

One of DS's best friends to this day (he's at uni now) is a lad from another school that he met at the train station and they just got talking.

I hope it works out for you.

It's rather a long time ago now, but my DS used to walk home from school from about age 12 (I gave him a lift in the mornings on my way to work, so he only walked one way). It was 2.5 miles.

Reading your updates, I think you are right to make a stand about not making his sister late op. If you do decide to give him a lift part of the week then I would say you are leaving at X o'clock precisely (set a physical alarm) and if he's not ready literally by the bell you are leaving anyway. Eliminate all the stress and arguments about him finding his shoes. Natural consequences and he doesn't get to control the whole family with his actions.

If he’s on his own he might feel a bit self conscious or even be attracting bullying/hassle. I assume there’s not kids from his old primary going the same way given the distances?

The distance isn't the issue is it. When DD1 started primary school DD2 was 3 and walked to school and back twice a day, so a daily walk of 3.6 miles (admittedly split into two) but DD1 would complain about being tired the whole way home in the afternoon. It wasn't the distance, it was adjusting to school. They both now walk to secondary (1.2 miles each way) but don't like doing the walk alone because they find it boring. We have a very quick drive to school but I've only done it when the eldest had swimming before school and I didn't want her walking to school alone so early in the morning.

DS has left school now but he walked 3 miles each way from age 11, including catching a ferry which he often had to wait for.

Daughter in year 7 walks about three quarters of a mile, usually with extra kit of some sort.
Son walks the same distance, with a parent.
Neither mind unless it's pouring down!
Tbf they don't get a choice, there's massive traffic chaos round the school every day due to narrow roads, lack of parking and about 20 school buses, so there's no option but to walk.

1.3 miles to DD's school, she walks most days but if it's pouring she might get the bus.

Oh sorry I missed that dd school is 5 miles away. No you are definitely not being unkind.

Months are going to fly by and if you're sure there's no other reason for him not to walk, if he doesn't crack this now, relying on you for short distance lifts will stretch on. Some other great ideas here, good luck

we are about 2 miles from school.
DS1 age 14 walks into school everyday with his friend who lives a couple of streets away.
DD age 12 gets a lift with me as I still have to drive DS2 to school in a local village 5 miles (we have just moved) and I have to drive within 1 street of the secondary school so I drop her off.
I only finihs before school does twice a week so I again pick her up (and DS1 if he wants) as I have to drive past the school in order to get to the primary school.

Ds school (engineering Academy) was 35 miles each way. There was a school bus which cost a fortune, the bus stop was 5 miles away so we had to drive him each morning (7am) and collect him each evening (6.40pm).
The 5am starts were horrendous and if we got up up late or i was late back from my night shift we had to drive him the whole way there.

So glad he has now finished school and got an apprenticeship (local).

About a mile all uphill. Have very rarely given lifts.

@KaleSlayer

My daughters school is about a mile away. One of us drops her off and picks her up most days as she prefers that. My sons college is a few miles away, he’ll generally get the bus or an Uber but sometimes we drop him if we’re not in meetings.

It’s not mean to make them walk but I think if you can give them a lift if they prefer then why not.

Because you do a total of 4 miles driving to save them walking a mile each way (environment) Because we are raising another walking-averse car-dependent generation (environment) Because it potentially infantilises teens to have them dependent on Mum and Dad for short journeys Because so few teens get any meaningful exercise Of course they 'prefer' it - but it's just lazy.

Walking a route is something you get used to and see as less of a struggle.

They won't develop friends to walk with, and an enjoyable walk, unless they do it.

My kids and their London comp friends would have been mortified to be seen having a parent pick them up for a local walk.

I can see the OP is dealing with anxiety issues - OP, listen to the therapist and encourage him to walk, but in a way that it doesn't look as if you are favouring the younger child at his expense. I hope it improves for him and you.

0.9 miles should take no more than 20 minutes. Surely no one can think this is an unreasonable distance for an able bodied teenager to walk?