Was anyone else’s DM really weird about periods when they were younger?

[BiscoffAddict]

I’ve just been thinking about this randomly today. When I was younger and lived at home I wasn’t allowed to leave my packets of sanitary towels anywhere my DF or DB could see them. DM insisted that they shouldn’t have to look at them and she’d go mad if I ever so much as left a wrapper lying about. So they lived in my knicker drawer in my bedroom. But then I’d go to other people’s houses, use the loo and see packets of tampax or whatever on the bathroom shelf next to the other toiletries.

Then last year I moved back in during lockdown and without thinking left a packet of sanitary towels on the dining room table after I’d been shopping. She snapped at me to move them quick ‘in case your Dad sees them’ because obviously seeing a packet of always ultra is going to cause him distress isnt it? God knows what she thinks when she goes to DB and DSIL’s house and uses their look because DSIL leaves hers on a shelf next to her shampoo etc, you know like normal people do.

It’s such a weird attitude to have and it feels worse now time has gone on. Was anyone else’s DM the same?

On reflection I work in a school and we only have one toilet for staff male and female. There’s a big box of san pro right there on the shelf, for either staff or pupils who might need them. My DM would have a coronary if she knew about that. God forbid 🙄

I'm not sure my Mum told me anything about periods but I had 3 older sisters so picked up things from them. We kept sanpro in our underwear drawers too and didn't speak about periods in front of my Dad. But my Mum did get me my supplies and was sympathetic to my period pains etc.

I have always been very open about sanpro for me and my DD - it never really occurred to me not to be. They were in the food delivery and the DC would help me unpack them and they'd sit on the kitchen counter for a while. I'm not sure what my DS thought - it didn't occur to me to be secretive about any of it. He was around for all sorts of chats about it.

I was given a small pack of pads but they ran out ( my periods lasted seven days from the start) and I was then given a belt with a really thick pad .... I felt as if everyone in school could just tell it was all so bulky 😔

My Dad was really weird about this when my Mum left. Couldn't possibly leave anything like that out in case my 13 year old brother saw them - perish the thought!

I never hide them in my house and I'm completely open about them to my DS and DD.

My Mum was a bit weird too. She told me when I was about 8/9 that adults didn't poo! I believed that for years!

Cannot possibly talk about bodily functions!

For me it was the not being allowed to use tampons that was the worst thing. I started when I was 13 (and hadn't actually been a virgin for a year, but that's another depressing story), living in a very hot country and I was heavily into sports...having to deal with periods in the early 80s when having pads that stuck to your knickers was the most up to date thing was fucking horrible. Mind you, she did try to get me to use a bloody sanitary belt at first...

I am also still waiting for the facts of life talk. 53 years and waiting...

Yep! My mum never spoke about it, then bought me a pack of pads when I told her I started (I also had a little stock of bits I'd been given at school ) then just nothing!! So I had to buy my own or steal her tampons if she had any from a really young age, I have three girls and massively overcompensate by having lots of bits for them at all times. I honestly think it just didn't occur to her though 😯 as money wasn't tight or anything but I was embarrassed to ask as it wasn't spoken about.

My mum (or dad) never spoke about it. Put some pads in my drawer one day without saying anything and I started a while after but never felt like I could tell her. I used to use toilet paper or steal her tampons.

I thought my DM was unusual. I never told her I started my periods and one day she awkwardly gave me a book about it and sometimes remembered to leave pads in my room. Often she didn't. I wonder now if she did this on purpose to make me ask for them, I don't know.

I have two young DD and hope I'm not like that with them when the time comes. DP was the only man in a house of girls growing up and he was always sent shopping so he's used to it.

I’ve actually started thinking about this a lot recently. My mum rarely bought me any sanpro. I wonder what she thought I was using? I look back now and see that it was neglect, all the more apparent now with the initiatives to support girls through ‘period poverty’.
When it’s time, my poor DD won’t know what has hit her. She won’t be able to get into her bedroom for piles of period knickers etc. 😄

This is so sad. My mum used to buy them every shop (it was a bit excessive, I ended up with a drawer entirely full of tampons for different flows, thin pads, thick pads etc) but it was so good. I never ran out or had to ask for any, and I could adapt what I used depending on what my flow was like.

We never 'hid' them from the males in our house but I kept them in my room, anyway.

I'll be doing the same with my girls. Buying a mixture of period products in advance and then as soon as they need them, they're there to pick from and available.

Opposite extreme, I remember my dad wanting in the bathroom when I was in there trying to deal with one of my first periods. No concept that I might want privacy.

Mine were like this. For sex education I was silently handed a book in a plain brown paper wrapper that was written in the 1940's.

Back in the early 80s I’d be around 11 and my mother quickly, quietly and uncomfortably mentioned that women and girls bleed once a month and to tell her when it happened to me as I was getting to that age. I was so nervous about telling her when I got my first period and she just handed me a pack of towels and said I’d find more in the back of her wardrobe. A couple of days later a pack of really thick looped towels and a belt appeared in my room.. Periods were never mentioned again.
After a year or so I started buying my own tampons out of my pocket money.

My Mum died when I was 9 so DDad brought me up. I remember telling him I needed bras so we went to Woolworths and bought some, same with staring periods, he was very matter-of-fact. We went to town and told me to get whatever I needed. I was very sporty but he never stopped me showering or washing my hair (this was 1977)
I have been very open with my ds, and have been known to point out that if it wasn’t for how our bodies functioned, none of us would even exist!! Our periods are part of our life cycle!! One of my ds girlfriends said she was amazed at how unfazed he was about the whole period thing so I must have brought him up ok!😁

@AMillionMilesAway

Thank you for mentioning your fasting etc... it never occurred to me that you girls would be fasting during your periods ... that must be very tough for you!! Sometimes only chocolate gets you through!🍫

@DDIJ

I was told my grandma had a prolapse and never complained

Omg I'm another one whose nan had a prolapse and never complained. Every time someone has a hysterectomy I have to hear about how my nan had a prolapse and never complained. The implication being that women are just having hysterectomies for fun and making a terrible fuss about nothing, instead of soldiering on proudly.

Then we had the tale of a mutual acquaintance who had a hysterectomy then had to have it done again This was not completely accurate. I think perhaps she sees a basic understanding of female reproductive organs as a sign of loose morals so she shows ignorance as a means of virtue signalling.

Yep just bizarre.

Oh my mothers reaction when I first started my period.
“Where’s your soiled knickers then?”
Que years of me hiding sanitary towels and knickers behind my bed as I was ashamed of them.
My best friend had a mum who’d explained everything and bought her tampons, towels and pantiliners, I was so envious of her mum.

My mum couldn't even utter the words "sanitary towels" They were referred to as "things". "Mum, I've run out of things" "ok, I'll get you more "things"". It was shit.

@whyhell0there

My mum nevee talked about them to me at all (or anything else important for that matter...). Thank God I read magazines.

This

Mine was like this and I'm annoyed to say I was a bit like this with my daughter. Now she's an adult it wouldn't be an issue and I've always left them in sight. I think it was influenced by my lovely second husband who is happy to shop for me etc. I have a good MIL.

I can't believe some of the comments on this thread..so awful that you had to go through not having adequate sanpro.

I was a late starter & the sanpro had been in the bathroom cupboard for some time whilst my parents seemed to be waiting . I felt abnormal & really wanted to start my period like other girls my age.

When I finally got my first period, i told my mother , then I vividly remember my father saying to me "you're a woman now" infont of my nan , who just looked awkward. I was mortified.

You've also reminded me of those bloody awful sanitary belts & safety pins which came out of the school toilets vending machine. I still don't know how I was supposed to use them!

My DM never discussed periods with me.
I knew what was happening when I first started from Sex Ed at school & magazines but it took me an hour of crying in the toilet to pluck up courage to tell my mother.
She was annoyed, hustled me back into the toilet & threw a sanitary belt & enormous Dr Whites pad with loops (early seventies) through the door.
I didn’t have a clue what to do with them & spent more time crying before I had the courage to ask how to use the belt.
She sent my older Dsis in to show me.
The whole thing felt so traumatic at the time.
Still makes me feel sad for my 13yr old self.
No pads on display, only ever called thingies and used ones had to be burned on the small fire in the living room.
I was too ashamed to burn them if my DF or DB were in the room so hid them in my knicker drawer till the room was clear
She also banned us from washing our hair during a period, later blamed my irregular periods on me washing my hair.
Tampons couldn’t be used by unmarried women apparently.
I did things very differently with my 4 DDs, everything out in the open, starting periods was celebrated and they were totally comfortable with the whole idea by the time they had the first one.
I can talk to my DDs about anything, there's no embarrassment at all.

Not at all. My mum always had them visible in the toilets in case guests ever got caught short or taken by surprise. She was very affected by her own mother's refusal to be able talk about those sorts of things.

Whispers with hand near mouth, plus so Dad didn't understand the conversation. ."Do you need any STs?"

This was late 70s. I think we're far more open to discuss these things nowadays. Goodness knows why it was all so secretive back in the day.

Not my mum, she was very open with us about everything. My best friend however was shocked that I asked my Dh to pick up some tampons. She said everyone will think he's a wierdo!. Uh maybe they will assume he has a female relative who needs them 🤔

Why weren't girls allowed to wash their hair if they a period? Mentioned a few times on this (very sad) thread.