What now makes you uncomfortable that didn't at the time

[drinkingwineoutofamug]

As a teenager I like listening to a certain rock band.
Just found their album on iTunes, downloaded and listened.
I was shocked. One of the songs - sung by grown men - ' she's a 13 yr tease , with bleach blonde hair. Let me eat your cookies , let me see your cookies '
Sat in the bath gob smacked. When I was 15 , this never made me question.

Has anyone else come across something that as a younger person it never crossed your mind but now it's a wtf moment

hmm, coke makes my teeth feel bad

@Romney981 The infant kiss isn't about what I think you imagine. Admittedly on hearing the song it would seem so but it's actually inspired by a film The Innocents, and the novel, The turn of the screw.
There's a better explanation than i can write, here.

www.songfacts.com/facts/kate-bush/infant-kiss

Agree re 'Flowers in the Attic' which was in school library at intermediate (age 11-12).

There are multiple sequels and other series by same author/ghostwriters about inappropriate relationships and incest. Not sure why it was being promoted to primary age children.

Late 80's, worked somewhere that had two lists of key holders for the safe. Top and bottom keys - cue lots of "I'll go on top" from creepy office managers, and "while you're down there" as you bend down to unlock the safe.

Early 90s knowing you couldn't go into one manager's office on a Friday afternoon as he would have had a few drinks and his hands would wander.

Was transferred to another branch, manager had offered to take me for a meal not long before and said that we could still do it. I naively had thought he meant lunch to talk work and general stuff and said I wouldn't be able to get there and back in an hour, he said that he meant dinner and he'd pay for a hotel room!

Though my mum would just say, "do t know why people get upset, it was different back then and all just a bit of fun"

On the flip side, whilst I find things uncomfortable to watch now I don't believe in censorship - surely we need to still know the mistakes of the past? If all references that mock ability/sexuality/colour of skin/religion/ethnicity etc were removed we would lose swathes of literature. And where would the line be drawn? Pepe le Pew has been banned as he is a sex pest. But Tom and Jerry could glamourise violence? Peter Pan has obvious issues with ethnicity and depicting smoking - should the Disney film be banned?

In first year of uni, age 18, a friend had a sexual relationship with a lecturer who must have been in his 40s. At the time we thought she was so grown up, and they were ‘both adults’ so the age gap didn’t matter.

I’m a lecturer myself now, and can’t imagine wanting to get with a student, and would definitely see it as an abuse of power if a colleague did.

Iseestupidpeople. "Actually it just portraits the British Laddette. but some can’t take the truth."

Just because the smack my bitch up video had a 'twist' that the protagonist was female doesn't make it about ladettes. Ladettes didn't generally going around sexually assulting other women etc.

I am also one who did not think anything much about drag years ago but absolutely hate it now, having given it more thought (and it being so omnipresent all over media). I find it seriously offensive.

Also, all the attention given to beauty contests, when I was a little girl I'd look at the pictures and wish so hard I could grow up to be a beauty queen (I was not really a pretty child). I grew out of that thank goodness (and ended up becoming a doctor, and a perfectly passable-looking adult), but I still think my parents should have discouraged my obsessing over the importance of looking pretty in a swimsuit.

I must say I'm just really happy that those times have gone now and we analyse a little more. Times have indeed moved on. So many things people are saying remind me of what we all put up with. I was always being told 'smile darlin' or 'cheer up it might never happen' when I was a kid /teen and I'm annoyed that I did actually feel I should smile in response. Family would also tell me to smile, so I did and they'd say 'that's better!' Really wasn't, was it, it was totally forced.

Also, I don't think anyone has mentioned birthday 'bumps' where a group would grab hold of you and throw you up in the air if it was your birthday, one 'bump' for every year. I used to hate that, it terrified me but you were forced to go along with it and laugh and smile. Has that stopped now?

@Kettledodger
I agree with you - but that's just what we're doing on this thread, aren't we? Discussing and debating, and trying to work out why some behaviours and depictions used to be acceptable. Criticising and re-evaluating is not the same as "cancelling".

Nobody's demanding problematic songs and movies be cancelled - though it would great if some actual behaviours mentioned on this thread were.

PE showers. I had nightmares about them . They made me utterly miserable. Girls being forced to be naked in front of their peers and teachers when going through puberty. Absolutely bloody horrific.

I remember these. Truly awful and so terribly embarrassing, not allowed cubicles or towels to even hide your body. Had to go through naked and then come out and only then have the relief of access to a towel. I remember distinctly our PE class getting a lecture from the covering PE teacher that "unless you have a third boob, there's no reason for you not to go in the showers".

Bugsy Malone. I watched it recently and felt a little queasy about those very young girls (eg Jodie Foster) slinking down stairs singing in her little girls voice "My name is Tallulah
My first rule of thumb
I don't say where I'm going
Or where I'm coming from
I try to leave a little reputation behind me
So if you really need to
You'll know how to find me"

Or the chorus girls in their little outfits including very short shorts wiggling their way in the dance routines.

It was weird, I'd enjoyed the film in my youth but it made me really uncomfortable as an adult.

Either bbc or itv kids programme where the presenter was ogling Emma Watson's photo when she first starred in Harry Porter. There was a studio audience of kids and he was talking to them about how he wished he could be alone with her, whilst licking his lips. Don't have kids and I was changing channels when I came across it. Thats not that long ago either, he must have been in his late 20's/early 30's. Very disturbing.

When I was 21 went to GP for contraception. She gave me a lecture on how she didn't believe in sex outside marriage. This was late nineties!

Church youth club - no DBS checks. One of the men has since been prosecuted for having images of child abuse.

History field trip. 1st and 2nd year. Teacher squeezed a class of 24 into one of those Transit can minibuses. One boy sitting on a lab stool. Can't think why history even needed a field trip.

@Newestname001 I've always hated Bugsy Malone but not really been able to say why exactly so glad I'm not the only one!

@YetGo

When I was 21 went to GP for contraception. She gave me a lecture on how she didn't believe in sex outside marriage. This was late nineties!

Church youth club - no DBS checks. One of the men has since been prosecuted for having images of child abuse.

History field trip. 1st and 2nd year. Teacher squeezed a class of 24 into one of those Transit can minibuses. One boy sitting on a lab stool. Can't think why history even needed a field trip.

In the area I moved from. A girl aged 16 went to the GP and asked the old male GP for the pill. He said no and told her to go home and play with dollies and that she was too young.

@Eyevorbig0ne

Uncle Ernie in the film "Tommy" with Roger Daltrey as Tommy. We laughed at the time as kids but uncle Ernie was a paedophile. Poor Tommy, no wonder he was so traumatised.

I'm your wicked uncle Ernie, I know you won't see or hear my as I fiddle about" and it gets even worse Just awful

Although not one of the more overtly nasty programmes, I don't think anybody has said Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em yet.

I used to love it, but if you watch it back now, it's very 'convenient' that the quirks and behaviours that made Frank 'stupid' and a ridiculous object of derision could very easily correspond with a far-from-unusual diagnosis of learning difficulties, ADHD, ASD and/or other recognised conditions these days.

Even back then, nobody would have thought of shouting for comedy purposes at a wheelchair user for 'irritating' or 'getting in the way of' those who can walk, but abusing a man who was almost certainly non-NT was apparently the only reasonable, expected way to respond to him

I suppose the only slight saving grace was that Betty saw him for the loving, honest man he really was - but she was widely pitied and considered a fool for her patience with him by everybody else.

In first year of uni, age 18, a friend had a sexual relationship with a lecturer who must have been in his 40s. At the time we thought she was so grown up, and they were ‘both adults’ so the age gap didn’t matter

I knew a girl at uni who'd had an abusive childhood and used alcohol and drugs to cope with MH issues. She had a sexual relationship with a lecture who had some kind of official role giving extra support to students who needed it. He was giving her drugs, and she told me in a lecture that she'd woken up naked in his flat and couldn't remember getting there or what had happened. Even in the late 80s many of us thought this was an abuse of power, but of course we didn't report him or have any idea that it might be a disciplinary offence - it was just a vague feeling that it wasn't right.

When I say he had an official support role I mean she had asked for support and he had been assigned as her supporter...

those shower rooms
i was an early developer and one girl kicked my towel across the floor, i have never forgotten,
after that i either had a period or conveniently verrucas

Saw this recently for years first time I am 42 and I don't ever remember watching it I have 3 boys 15, 2 and 5 months and I was horrified at the way they treated each other in the film

Did anyone watch the documentary Allen Vs Farrow?
I was shocked at what he got away with, how much power and influence he had. But what was astonishing is what the media did. Protraying Mia as the scorned woman. The one who couldn't let go.

@AMillionMilesAway

When I was Year 9 (so around 13/14) I had a friend at school who had a boyfriend who was around 25. He used to pick her up from school and they were definitely having sex- she told me. We we all jealous. Now, as a fully grown adult, I am pretty horrified none of the teachers seemed to care.

I remember sitting in PE aged 13 when my friend asked one of the ‘cool girls’ in our class if she’d had a good weekend. The girl said it had been ok, she and her boyfriend had gone out and ‘just got tipsy, not steaming drunk’ then she’d stayed at his that night. (He was in his 20s and had his own place).

At the time I thought she was so edgy. Now I look back and remember her sitting there in her PE kit, no makeup, looking exactly what she was - a child being groomed by an adult

I agree about gymnastics. The differences in the floor exercises especially. There is more emphasis on performance with the women's Floor, and it's usually to music.

I prefer rhythmic gymnastics where there's less disparity.