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Original poster

Csection and school

74 replies

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 09:18

Just wondered if anyone can offer some advice please?

I am due to have a section in 2 weeks time.
I have a reception age child and a 3 years old. I have arranged childcare for both of them but unfortunately my oldest cannot be dropped at school on that day as the family member looking after them lives too far and cannot drive.

I will need to be at the hospital for 7.30 am and school doesn’t open until 8.45 am so not possible for us to drop him and also no one to pick him up as my husband will be in the hospital with me. The other issue is my 3 years old won’t stay with the family member without one of us or my son.

Will the school accept these reasons for him to be off school on that day or will this be marked an unauthorised absence? I am worried about asking school as they might refuse it.

Has anyone been through this?

OP posts:
Mabelface · 27/04/2021 09:22

Just tell them. I doubt school will have a problem, and if they do, well, it's their problem.

FrancesFlute · 27/04/2021 09:23

I presume it would be unauthorised yes.

How far away is school and hospital? Can your husband drop you off first at hospital .30 then do the school drop off then return to hospital. A breakfast club for the morning could mean an earlier drop off at 8ish? Plead extenuating circs one off if they say they can't take at breakfast club?

What were you planning to do with your 3yo if they won't go to family?

FrancesFlute · 27/04/2021 09:24

*7.30

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Whinge · 27/04/2021 09:25

Could the family member come to your house for the day?

ClaraLane · 27/04/2021 09:27

How old is your reception child? If they’re still 4 then they don’t legally need to be at school anyway so you can take them out.

Hfjshdhs · 27/04/2021 09:27

My experience of planned c sections (I’ve had two) is that surgery doesn’t start until at least 9am. Can your husband drop you off (or you get a taxi) then drop your DC off then come and see you?

We had a similar issue and I talked it through with the hospital, who put on my notes that I wanted a slot later in the day for my surgery so my husband could take my daughter to nursery.

PegPeople · 27/04/2021 09:28

@Whinge

Could the family member come to your house for the day?
This was what I was going to suggest. It would also be less disruption for your children than having to stay at a relatives house and probably easier for them as they will be surrounded by all their own things.
NicolaDunsire · 27/04/2021 09:29

How old is your Reception age child? If under 5 the absence doesn’t matter anyway.

Even if school don’t authorise it there will be no consequences for missing a day of school because of a c section. Can you imagine the media coverage on that?!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/04/2021 09:32

You husband could drop you at the hospital then do the school run and come back to you - it's likely you wont be in surgery straight away.

The suggestion of the childcare coming to your house is also good. They can then do the school run.

Alittlebitlostrightnow · 27/04/2021 09:33

I can only speak of my experience but the school fully accepted the reason and my little girl’s absence that day wasn’t classed as unauthorised.

ChateauMargaux · 27/04/2021 09:34

Accept the unauthorised absence.

Original poster
hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 09:34

Thanks for the replies, didn’t expect so many of them, appreciate it.

I am aware of the under 5 rule, but the boy just turned 5 so unfortunately legally have to be in school.

My mum was gonna come around to look after the 3 years old but unfortunately she had a fall and got injured and unable to. She lives in a different country.

The relative also has elderly parents she looks after and I have suggested she comes to mine but she cannot unfortunately.

No breakfast club at the moment due to Covid.

Hospital is an hour away and that’s without traffic.

OP posts:
Fruityfriday · 27/04/2021 09:36

I'd just say the child has a cold.

Whinge · 27/04/2021 09:37

The relative also has elderly parents she looks after and I have suggested she comes to mine but she cannot unfortunately.

It's going to be difficult to have a 3 + 5 year old and care for elderly parents at the same time, even more so as the children will be in an unfamiliar environment / routine. Does the 3 year old go to nursery?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/04/2021 09:37

The relative also has elderly parents she looks after and I have suggested she comes to mine but she cannot unfortunately

Will she have to go and do caring tasks for them with your children?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/04/2021 09:38

It's looking like the best option all round is for dh to stay home with the DC.

NicolaDunsire · 27/04/2021 09:38

Just turned 5 as in turned 5 this term? In which case not CSA until Sept.

Anyway though I really can’t imagine this causing issues unless your head is an inflexible maniac about attendance.

PegPeople · 27/04/2021 09:40

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

It's looking like the best option all round is for dh to stay home with the DC.
I think this is looking likely. Your only option is someone who has significant caring responsibilities already so it doesn't seem fair to leave your 2 smalls with her. Unless there is anyone else e.g. DHs parents or a mum friend you could rely on for the day I do think DH staying at home would be kinder on your current children.
3JsMa · 27/04/2021 09:41

Don't get stressed about it,you are not going on holidays,you are having CS and giving birth to a child.I am sure the school will be very understanding as they're exceptional circumstances.Not everyone has loads of family and friends around and your reason for child absence is totally valid.

OnTheBrink1 · 27/04/2021 09:43

Don’t worry about school one tiny bit.
Tell them the situation and they may authorise it or they may not.
In either case, it really doesn’t matter. Nothing will happen if it’s unauthorised for one day and the school know your situation.
Please don’t stress, focus on your csection and having your husband there with you.

OnTheBrink1 · 27/04/2021 09:46

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

It's looking like the best option all round is for dh to stay home with the DC.
What? No. This is the worst option. I would have hated to go into my csection alone and been so awfully stressed and upset. Would never get over DH not being there. Awful! It’s just one day, the school really won’t care!
ArnoldBee · 27/04/2021 09:47

My school doesn't accept this as a reason for a child to be off. It will likely be unauthorised.

idontlikealdi · 27/04/2021 09:48

I'd just take the unauthorised absence. Or call in sick.

Do you not to be isolating to some degree before the section anyway?

PegPeople · 27/04/2021 09:48

What? No. This is the worst option. I would have hated to go into my csection alone and been so awfully stressed and upset. Would never get over DH not being there. Awful! It’s just one day, the school really won’t care!

I think myself and BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz were thinking more about how it would be unwise to leave 2 small children with someone who has significant caring duties rather than the 5 year old having one day off school.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/04/2021 09:50

Yeah - the school thing doesnt bother me one bit!

I'm more thinking of the poor person who will have two small children who dont want to be there plus caring responsibilities to manage.