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Original poster

Csection and school

74 replies

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 09:18

Just wondered if anyone can offer some advice please?

I am due to have a section in 2 weeks time.
I have a reception age child and a 3 years old. I have arranged childcare for both of them but unfortunately my oldest cannot be dropped at school on that day as the family member looking after them lives too far and cannot drive.

I will need to be at the hospital for 7.30 am and school doesn’t open until 8.45 am so not possible for us to drop him and also no one to pick him up as my husband will be in the hospital with me. The other issue is my 3 years old won’t stay with the family member without one of us or my son.

Will the school accept these reasons for him to be off school on that day or will this be marked an unauthorised absence? I am worried about asking school as they might refuse it.

Has anyone been through this?

OP posts:

Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 11:06

Oh great suggestions thanks Backofthepack.
I intentionally didn't choose a friday as I have had a section on a friday before and there's a shortage of doctors on the weekends.

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Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 11:10

Mammabearto3 that's exactly the sort of things which is bound to happen at our school and I am trying to avoid.

We all had covid when this term started and my husband and I were very sick. The kids although tested positive were generally okay and didn't suffer. When I informed school that although my son had to isolate for 14 days, it might take a bit longer for us to get better so might be at home an extra week.
They were very snotty in their email and told me that I had to bring him to school right after the 14 days.

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Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 11:11

RebelByLight true, can use that too.

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Families

Backofthepack · 27/04/2021 11:16

Just don't have a discussion.

If they say "well we can't give permission" etc say ok, I accept that. He still won't be in. He's in reception I assume, you can't be fined, they can't kick you out, no secondary school will care in X years that he had one days unauthorised leave. Just don't stress over it

Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 11:21

Thank you Backofthepack, appreciate this.

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JustFrustrated · 27/04/2021 11:24

@Mammabearto3

I was in a similar situation when I had my 3rd baby, when I was 7 month's I put in a leave form with school wanting xyz dates off for 3 day's explaining everything as my mum/sister an hour away was looking after them I'm having a csection my DH will be with me etc.

I got notified by the principal just under 2weeks before my csection it wasn't a good enough excuse for kid's to be away from school. I got annoyed and pointed out that a boy in my son's class is away for 6week's on a family cruise because the mum wanted to work on her tan, yet me having a csection and my children are staying with my mum/sister an hour away isn't good enough reason, Also pointed out my son got an award last year for perfect attendance.

The bit that ticked me off even more I had massive complications and ended up in icu for just over a week the principal tell's my husband anything that we can do just let us know, but we will see the kid's here tomorrow.

If I have anymore children my older children they will just be getting a dr certificate for gastro bug or they had a cold.

Do what you feel is right for your family don't stress over the school and what they say.

Congratulations on your baby

So much wrong this post.

A)fuck off dragging a woman down. That wasn't needed and was downright nasty.

B)doctors won't give sick notes for anything less than 5 days.

cabbageking · 27/04/2021 11:32

If the child is under statutory age an AU won't be recorded.
Even if it was recorded as an AU there is no action taken for one day.

Either way it is not something to worry about.

calamityjam · 27/04/2021 11:45

I genuinely wouldn't waste head space over this issue. What exactly do you think will happen if your child misses a day of school? Authorised or unauthorised. Just words

Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 11:48

Thanks, I have no idea what happens I have to admit as my first child at school.
I thought perhaps with unauthorised absence the welfare officer gets involved or something. I genuinely don't know!

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Allgirlskidsanddogs · 27/04/2021 11:53

I would explain to school what is happening.

Be honest, explain the constraints. It’s a massive change in his life, a day or 2 or 3 off school is not going to damage his education - this is said as a parent but also as a teacher!

I don’t think the EWO would fine for a day’s absence - especially for the birth of a sibling, I thought it had to be several days consecutively before a fine was issued?

Good luck with the next few weeks.

EssentialHummus · 27/04/2021 11:54

I wouldn’t stress about this. This is right up there in terms of valid reasons to miss school.
Do you have local friends who could collect the 5yo early on the day, drop them at school at the right time, then collect them and drop them to your relative’s? I really wouldn’t have a problem doing this for another school/nursery mum or neighbour.

wonkylegs · 27/04/2021 11:57

I would explain it to the school but I wouldn't worry about it if they don't authorise it unless you child has had lots of them it won't be followed up and will have no affect on your child.
Hope all goes well.

Mammabearto3 · 27/04/2021 11:58

@JustFrustrated I wasn't meaning to drag anyone/female down or to be nasty in my post I was just telling what happened to me when I was in a similar position and what I would do in the future with more children.

If it has come across this way as nasty or dragging someone down then I'm truly very very sorry that it has, but it wasn't ment to be that way.

We have to get dr certificate for away more then 2 day's.

I'm Sorry if I've offended anyone else in my post I truly am sorry.

Frlrlrubert · 27/04/2021 12:10

@hpsaurous

Thanks, I have no idea what happens I have to admit as my first child at school. I thought perhaps with unauthorised absence the welfare officer gets involved or something. I genuinely don't know!

Bless you, it takes a lot more than one unauthorised absence for that. Don't worry, just tell them the truth and carry on regardless.

Remember schools have to be seen to be doing the right thing, so even if they understand the circumstances (like with you guys being poorly and not being able to do the school run), they often have to take the 'official' line in communications which can come across as harsh.

They might have to record it as unauthorised, but it honestly doesn't matter unless it becomes a pattern of poor attendance for spurious reasons.

Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 12:12

Mammabearto3 oh no I didn't see anything wrong with your post apart from sharing your own experience which I asked for in this thread.
Please don't apologise.

I actually read JustFrustrated post as in having a go at the principal and not you!
Allgirlskidsanddogs and wonkylegs thanks, he has perfect attendance apart from when he had covid.

EssentialHummus all friends have younbg children and in different directions and also the relative lives quite far from the school and need 3/4 bus changes which isn't possible. Too stressful for the 5 and 3 years old to do.

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Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 12:14

Frlrlrubert ha I feel so stressed about it all. I am more stressed about school and childcare than having a section!

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ChipsAreLife · 27/04/2021 12:19

I feel for you, it's bloody stressful. We had a similar headache but was more because of covid etc.

I would speak to the hospital as ours were excellent. I spoke to the team during pre op and they were so understanding put me on for a time so we could do school run. They said everyone asks to go first so it was a nice change to have someone ask to go a bit later!

You could do that and maybe get a lift from a friend to hospital whilst DH does school run and then meets you there? Or maybe ask a school mum/dad to take that day? People would be happy to I'm sure.

Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 12:30

Hi ChipsAreLife , thanks for understanding. We have two cars so I can drive myself to the hospital that's not the issue. I can ask for a time suitable for me and they can agree but doesn't mean that it will happen on the day as emergencies takes priority and I am not an emergency right now.

I have previously taken two womens' spot for my emergencies so really appreciate it's not down to the hospital agreeing or not.

I could be in for the morning and have the section and be done by the afternoon and my husband could be back for the school pick up. However, I do need to be realistic and think of all scenarios and would rather he's kept off school and the two kids are together.

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Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 12:39

Deep down I also want the kids to be together on the day. My son understands that I will be going to the hospital on that day to have the baby and they will be staying with the relative. My daughter just follows what he says. She knows there's a baby in mummy's tummy but beyond that nothing. She also think she has a baby in her tummy ha!

He is very calm and grown up about it. Him and his sister chats a lot about the baby and how mummy will be going to the hospital and they will be staying with the relative on the day etc. I hear them chatting quietly about it and what will happen on the day etc. They are two peas in a pod and together they have a great bond. I think sending him to school that day isn't a good idea.

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ivfbeenbusy · 27/04/2021 12:42

@hpsaurous

Frlrlrubert ha I feel so stressed about it all. I am more stressed about school and childcare than having a section!

I was the same and had it all planned out in my head how it was going to work....then bloody lockdown and school closures and emergency c section bloody scuppered all my carefully organised plans 🤣🤦‍♀️

Original poster

hpsaurous · 27/04/2021 12:45

ivfbeenbusy that's my worst nightmare too that I end up with another emergency section then am really screwed! Glad all worked out well for you in the end!

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mindutopia · 27/04/2021 13:13

I would call on the day and say you are in labour and the person who is providing childcare is unable to drive to bring him in so you will be keeping him at home that day.

I can't see how that will be an issue. My youngest one was born when eldest was in reception. As it turns out, he was born on a Saturday, but had it been a weekday, I would have kept her home anyway. I was having a home birth so we were all day home, and we did have a emergency person who could have stayed with her if we'd needed to go into hospital. But otherwise, it was just us at home (obviously and the midwives) so we couldn't guarantee that there would be an adult available who could collect her at the end of the day. It was just more sensible to keep her home rather than be stressing about the school run and friends taking off work to run and get her. It's just one day and in the long run, they'll probably benefit from being home and with a family member who can support them when a big life changing thing is happening.

Original poster

hpsaurous · 28/04/2021 10:47

Thank you mindutopia good advice.

Looks like I will be having another emergency section as cord is double around the baby’s neck. Just waiting to see a doctor now.
Stress level is over the roof and I haven’t even finished work yet.

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Mammabearto3 · 29/04/2021 09:52

How are you and baby doing, I hope all is well.

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