Hit me with your best ideas! What do I call my asshat ex in my contacts?

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Just that really. What do you call your ex in your contacts?
I’ve not got a great relationship with him (understatement). 5 years since we split and there are many threads documenting my experiences if you want to search.
But, long story short, he’s a dick. Definitely a narcissist, probably a psychopath.
I used to have him in my contacts as “DCs dad” but it stuck in my craw because my own dad is gone and my ex isn’t fit to own the title. I changed it lately to Asshat. Much more suitable but, unfortunately, I didn’t notice that the last email I sent him was addressed as such and, funnily enough, he wasn’t happy.
Now I’ve recovered from laughing my ass off, I’m struggling to come up with the perfect alternative.
I’d love to hear your suggestions.

Mine is called Jack Ass in my phone and just X on emails.

My friend calls hers Richard Cranium.
Makes me laugh 😆

Delusional wanker

It used to be deadbeat or cuntface, but I had to change it once dc could read
I no longer have him saved in my phone because of WhatsApp..long story, so now he's just a +44

FF
Fat Fuck..

My bf suggested Oliver Twist because he always wants more.

The mistake.

I would probably go with cunt face but not so good if dc can see it. My friend calls her ex husband the sperm donor.

@Xboxstolemychildren, yeah dc can read which is annoying

I did think I could call him sser. So when he receives an email it says To:sser
From: onitlikeacarbonnet

I call mine VC, which stands for Volder-Cunt, as in 'he should not be named.'

I like Asshat How about:

The Slug
Ratboy
Twatty McTwatface
The Mistake
Satan
Wankbadger
Fuckface
What was I thinking?
Bullshit incoming
Tiny
10 second

As you may have guessed I have a fuckwit in my past too!

@onitlikeacarbonnet How bloody annoying, how dare we teach our children read

@Mammymar that just reminded me I also had him as sperm donor, there have been many names lol.

Cock Womble.

Skip rat!

He’s just under his name because I can’t be bothered to waste any unnecessary energy on him.

@thewreckofthehesperus
That is a pretty long list.
I once intercepted an email between his ow and him in which she called me cunty mccuntface. Not sure what I did to her unless she was pissed off that I threw him out and she was stuck with him then.
10 second asshat would hit a nerve

Surely if your kids are likely to see it you should just use his name?

@Amdone123 excellent. Truly.

@SEE123, I must admit when she first said it, it took a while.....duh 🤔

'FHF' (Fuck Head Fred)

@Amdone123,absolutely brilliant, love it.

I didn’t even dignify mine with a name so just used a “ . “
It was very satisfying seeing that spot where a name should have been when his broke ass ever texted me.

At the moment he’s got no name. It’s just blank where a name would be.
I like the “.” thing @YellowLunatic. I thought also zero. It has the added bonus of not being at the top of my contacts.

I am actually pissed off with myself for not realising he’d see asshat. I only changed it in January around the anniversary of my dads passing. I don’t normally give the asshat a second thought. Just lots of back and forth at the minute with school holidays.

I used to call my ex Billy Rubin, because Bilirubin is the thing that's responsible for shit being brown.