Hit me with your best ideas! What do I call my asshat ex in my contacts?

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Just that really. What do you call your ex in your contacts?
I’ve not got a great relationship with him (understatement). 5 years since we split and there are many threads documenting my experiences if you want to search.
But, long story short, he’s a dick. Definitely a narcissist, probably a psychopath.
I used to have him in my contacts as “DCs dad” but it stuck in my craw because my own dad is gone and my ex isn’t fit to own the title. I changed it lately to Asshat. Much more suitable but, unfortunately, I didn’t notice that the last email I sent him was addressed as such and, funnily enough, he wasn’t happy.
Now I’ve recovered from laughing my ass off, I’m struggling to come up with the perfect alternative.
I’d love to hear your suggestions.

My ex has been, at times, "Oh, You Again" and "Toolio the Left-Handed Monkeywrench". Now he's just in there under his name. I'd actually welcome some ideas for what to follow his first name with. We're in the US so Randy doesn't mean much other than a name, but in the UK.... if anyone has any ideas fire away!

I LOVE Richard Cranium. Brilliant

I have a dedicated ring tone...

Originally it was a very rude song along the lines of the wanker is calling etc... but l thought that probably wasn't very PC in public...

So it now shouts.... YOUR EX IS CALLING, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO PICK UP.. HE'S ON THE PHONE....etc

Some of these are very creative.

I also appreciate it might seem a little childish and perhaps giving him headspace he doesn’t deserve. Well done to those of you who can rise above it. That’s probably my next step.

@ScrumForward when he first left I gave him a ringtone for text messages which was the ominous one. Dun dun duhhh. I was trying to make him funny but at that point his messages could send me into a full blown panic attack.
The ringtone didn’t have the desired effect. It’s taken a long time and a lot of therapy to get past that and, while I can’t ever use that ringtone again, even though I might only get a couple of texts a year, I am certainly able and entitled to have a bit of fun at his expense now.

I call mine his majesty because he is a royal pain in the arse

Fuckwit

Oxygen thief

I've also referred to him as the witch doctor as its his most hated song on the planet

KH

Stands for KnobHead, but don't want my dd seeing me calling him that

@onitlikeacarbonnet

I did think I could call him sser. So when he receives an email it says To:sser From: onitlikeacarbonnet

This is perfect. I had the issue of needing screenshots of abuse, but had changed the name and didn't realise...

My CURRENT oh is Bearded Doorknob. But he does know

Mine used to be called knobbly knobhead...
I don't have him on my phone anymore, thank god!

DCs biological father, if he doesn't deserve Dcs dad. Tells it like it is and no more.

Dick splash