Hit me with your best ideas! What do I call my asshat ex in my contacts?

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Just that really. What do you call your ex in your contacts?
I’ve not got a great relationship with him (understatement). 5 years since we split and there are many threads documenting my experiences if you want to search.
But, long story short, he’s a dick. Definitely a narcissist, probably a psychopath.
I used to have him in my contacts as “DCs dad” but it stuck in my craw because my own dad is gone and my ex isn’t fit to own the title. I changed it lately to Asshat. Much more suitable but, unfortunately, I didn’t notice that the last email I sent him was addressed as such and, funnily enough, he wasn’t happy.
Now I’ve recovered from laughing my ass off, I’m struggling to come up with the perfect alternative.
I’d love to hear your suggestions.

@P1ainJanine love it.
Funny and educational.

My Scottish friend always refers to her ex as “ the auld swine.”

Narcissistic twotwobble?

Thats twice i've used that today. Might become a favourite descriptor of well narcissistic twotwobbles

Knob Cheese

Errrr, Dick Splash.

Shit 4 brains.

Captain Cuntwagon.

Major Arsehole.

2 Second Tim.

The Dementor.

Ex Mr CuntyMcCuntface

Use his full name. That's pretty much person non grata!

If I hadn't blocked mine I'd call him Jon Snow because he knows nothing.

Cockwomble

Loving these.

Captain Cuntwagon

Onan - onanism is a term for masturbation, so he's a wanker.

Wanky McWankstain

@Bancha

Surely if your kids are likely to see it you should just use his name?

The Little Man, better still, Tiny Man.

Knobcheese

He’s just under his name because I can’t be bothered to waste any unnecessary energy on him.
This ^

Surely if your kids are likely to see it you should just use his name?

And this.

My ex had me saved in his phone as "the bitch". DC were so upset when they found out. :( Our family support worker was not impressed either!

The respondent.
My x refered to me as The applicant while talking about maintenance.
I think it's so deliberately dehumanising it's nearly funny.

Twat, however, I can't imagine he'll ever contact me again, my DC is a teenager so can deal with him directly.

If your kids might see it, put him down as "Him" or "It."

or Dodge Bullet.

@MrsGulDukat

If your kids might see it, put him down as "Him" or "It."

I'm pretty sure my daughter would laugh a as she has him saved as something equally rude, but then she is nearly 18.

Justin Limpbiscuit

Just in the fairness of politeness.

My Ex is referred to as the Twat. But then, he aint saved on my phone because DD is 14 and I dont need to speak to him.

Mine has been Cockwomble for the last 9 years in my phone, never hear from him now but still hugely satisfying to see if I'm scrolling for a number!

Shithead

My ex is Fuckface