Any mums about who work full time with 3 or more DC?

[LucretiaBorgia]

I have 3 DC aged 6, 4 and newborn. I normally work full time (7am - 3 pm) in a field with ample scope for progression. I have one more year of training to do when I go back and would then like to apply for a promotion. I really enjoy my job and would like to progress significantly.

I was talking to another mum at nursery the other day and she assumed I would not be going back full time. I politely corrected her and she looked horrified, going on to say that kids suffer in childcare (I pick my kids up at 3.20 pm every day!) and implying that I wouldn't manage with 3 DC anyway.

It's made me feel quite down. There are no female role models at my job, about half the employees are female but most of them are in minor roles or don't have more than 2 DC (many don't have kids at all). Is there anyone who could give me a word of advice and encouragement? What is your experience of trying to combine career and family?

I don’t know many mums with more than two but off the top of my head, I don’t know many mums who work full time unless it’s using compressed/flexible hours. But I live in a commuter area where journeys to work are often long.

If you were going to be full time and out of the house 12 hours a day, I’d probably ask gently whether you were sure that was what you wanted, but your working hours and commute sound amazing! Plenty of time to catch up with the kids after school/childcare. Good luck with your career, sounds great!

I've read your posts OP but not the full-thread. I have 3 children, 2 years apart in age.

I've always worked full-time. I used some parental leave at times to have a period of 4 day weeks but otherwise, full-time.

When my marriage ended, I was without work as a contract had ended, and I couldn't get work for a while, my kids were very small, I'd no family back-up & was a mess after an abusive marriage. Apart from practically (money), it was a dreadful time, and when I did return to work, despite having a lot of experience, it took a long while to settle in, regain my confidence etc.

I know plenty of women who work full-time. For most careers, I would recommend it. You ultimately usually lose out when p/t, career-wise.

This doesn't matter to everyone, and that's fine. And it's not every career - eg in my family circle one family member works p/t as a pharmacist & the other as a GP and that has no professional impact on them.

But it's not a surprise at all of a woman with 3 children works f/t, I'm surprised that it is for some.

I think the job makes a big difference. If you know a lot of mums who work in lower paid jobs, fewer of them will work full time with 3 I reckon. I earn £9.16 an hour, if all my 3 kids are in after school club from 3.30-5.30 it costs me £24, so I’m worse off for working those 2 hours. I know someone will say the childcare bill is a shared expense etc but if you’re not in a job that is a ‘career’ there isn’t much incentive to work full time as the childcare bill builds up. All the full time mums I know have careers - civil service, journalist, banker etc.