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Strange man

32 replies

Vap3 · 18/04/2021 19:48

I need help on this please tell me the truth and hit me hard with it guys !! Met a guy apparantley single , 50 years old im 41 told me he has slight depression , looks after his dad with alzheimers , works full time , has a daughter to a previous relationship which he is divorced from , met him last summer works near my house so walking by where he works got to know him anyway started speaking more 9 wks ago now at the beginning it was all going nice texting consistently but never a phone call not once has he called me in fact he never even asks anything about my life i had to tell him my surname to ask for his , anyway he told me he could never spend a night with me due to caring for his dad , bear in mind he has carers in 4 times a day which is fair enough i have been their done this with my own family member anyway i invite him in regularly after work for a cup of tea he was consitent the first few wks but then it started to fade saying things like oh il come & see you after work he never appeares , never lets me know hes not going to come when he says he will , then texts hours later saying he was at the hospital with his dad , he organised to cone and stay the night as his daughter & ex wife would stay with his dad to give him a break low and behold they caught covid and he lost his wallet so had no money to come anyway , i know guys hes a gaslighting billy bullshitter , what i find even stranger is that in the 9 weeks of seeing him we have only kissed he has never tried anything on with me i have mentioned it and he replied with we dont have time when i do get into see you i only have half an hour to an hour before i need to leave to head home their is no point major red flag , i have gave myself a time frame to get rid just to see if more things would unfold or improve which they have not its got worse . Met a few friends last week and intold them about him i dont have face book so they looked him up , here is a his profile picture of the daughter i knew about who may i add is desperate to meet me in a collage picture with a little boy about 2 which i had no idea about he has never mentioned a little boy to me anyway scrolling through he has posted a picture of the child at about 2 years old saying my boy this is dayed 2017 you cant really see anymore on his face book so im assuming the child is now at school maybe 5 or 6 and clearly doesnt get to see him this i find very strange as my own sons father doesnt bother with him , next lot some nights he texts for hours and for days hes so distant , lets me down constantly , i dont know where i stand with this guy atol i have tried to talk to him but qllnhe says is ah the old classic lets talk and fobs me off then says i dont blame you if you bin me you ar egetting nothing out of me i explained i like him and this way of getting to know each other slowly is better than rushing in even if i get half an hour or an hour a week well its something and with him being carer to his dad and working full time i understand it must be hard and also spreading himself thintonfit me in but i cant ignore my intuition i just feel hes telling massive lies and he is with someone also he also tells utterly nonsense stories like he has an en suite bathroom in a high rise flat , he takes motorbike lessons on a friday morning , he jhas his own office and pa he works as a labourer all last week he has been really off invited him in all week never appeared no texts to acknowledge me he has never had the courtesy to let me know thursday night i got a text at half 9 saying he was at the hospital with his dad his stoma bag fell off hope you are ok and hopefully i will get in tomorrow with a praying hands symbol knowing fine well he wont come in i didnt see the text til friday morning as i was asleep txt him back to say hope his dad is ok and him too and looking forward to seeing him text im i was out in the garden just come round the back just before he was due to finish work he never appeared surprise surprise !!! He hasnt even read my whatsapp messages and hasnt been seen since the friday morning whatsapp i sent he also says we have to whatsapp as his text messages dont work even tho he sent me a text the other week ( my brother is a doctor and sent me a link to send him with him being a care to his dad to help him with some covid things he was enquiring about ) so he clearly forgot he said about the text messages which was about 6 wks ago and his phone speaker doesnt work either btw , i know the answer to my questions and to this thread just need a bit of cut me to the bone advice ove gave him 2 months & tried to be diplomatic with him caring for his elderly alzheimers father and give the guy a chance but its a shit show disaster and it cant go on hes a cockwomble isnt he and an absolute gaslighter any wise words type away peeps

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rainbowthoughts · 18/04/2021 19:52

I didn't read it all, it was too difficult. It was also clear very early on that this relationship isn't going anywhere. Tell him where to go and move on.

HerMammy · 18/04/2021 19:52

He’s married, it’s very clear.
Why are you bothering with this bullshitter?
Block, delete, next!

Vap3 · 18/04/2021 19:55

Also he said his daughter is desperate to meet me but does the daughter actually know about me ???would she not spill the beans on the little boy , surely you cant tell a teenage girl to hide a little boy im sure she would mention him if i met the daughter idont think this guy is the full shiling

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Vap3 · 18/04/2021 19:58

@HerMammy i have now definately with someone or 10

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Vap3 · 18/04/2021 19:59

@rainbowthoughts it never started thats for sure !!

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helenoftroystonvasey · 18/04/2021 20:06

Save your energy and move on. He's sounds like hard work for no benefit

SylHellais · 18/04/2021 20:16

I’m sorry, that was all too hard to read but it sounds like he’s not worth bothering with.

RothRoth · 18/04/2021 20:30

Bin the man and use your time learning about full stops.

Vap3 · 18/04/2021 20:30

@helenoftroystonvasey its been an absolute challenge from day one with this guy , yes definately , absolutely no benefit

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Vap3 · 18/04/2021 20:32

@RothRoth i struggle with writing sorry but please dont judge me on my typing skills you have to bin the attitude and dont judge someone on something so minor , thankyou for the advice i have binned the man god bless you dear

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Lumene · 18/04/2021 20:34

Why are you bothering with him, what do you get out of it?

He sounds like he’s in a relationship with another younger child tbh.

Even if not, I would move on.

goldielockdown2 · 18/04/2021 20:34

What is this fuckery?!
Who cares what his actual deal is, why are you indulging this fantasist? I read stuff like this on here sometimes and despair.

Vap3 · 18/04/2021 20:35

@SylHellais you are so right he is not worth bothering about and he is so not worth one more second of my time .

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Standrewsschool · 18/04/2021 20:40

Too much hard work.

Vap3 · 18/04/2021 20:40

@goldielockdown2
That made me laugh out loud ... what is this fuckery ?? Exactly that , i dont think he knows who he is so much jackanory stories he has forgot who he is in his existence .
I know it it is a complete shit show situation he has been blocked and deleted .

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Blueskytoday06 · 18/04/2021 20:43

we get what we settle for and you have set the bar really low. I think you need to call time and move on. X

Vap3 · 18/04/2021 20:45

@Lumene
I get nothing out of it and wont , it was more so the old father situation , i gave him the time frame just to suss him and the situation out a bit more and also just to be diplomatic and give him the benefit of my doubt . Oh definately move on i have to .

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Vap3 · 18/04/2021 20:47

@Blueskytoday06
I certainly have set the bar too low , its that low its non existant .

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Thoughtcontagion · 18/04/2021 20:51

Your post made me tired so god knows how you feel!

I wouldn’t bother to be honest you deserve better.

goldielockdown2 · 18/04/2021 20:52

Vap3 I'm glad I gave you a chuckle and reading back, also apologise if the rest of my post seemed harsh, but I'm SO pleased to read that you've now blocked and deleted this strange man. Your time is precious, please don't ever waste it on him again.

TeamPhil · 18/04/2021 20:52

You asked for us to hit you with the truth so here it is... this guy is not worth your time. You deserve better. His daughter doesn't know about you because he's married. He's telling you she wants to meet you to string you along. It's time to block him

Vap3 · 18/04/2021 20:53

@Standrewsschool
Yeah definately hard work when it really shouldnt be .

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Vap3 · 18/04/2021 20:57

@TeamPhil

Can i get a wooop woooop !!!! That's what i wanted to hear , the truth !!! Thank you !! So not worth my time i so deserve better and so not worth my precious time . Definately married or in some serious long term relationship and no the daughter has no idea either what a sad little dude he is .

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Vap3 · 18/04/2021 21:00

@Thoughtcontagion
I was exhausted with it to be honest , he was making me a nervous wreck , intuition is a wonderful thing i will never ignore her again especially when it comes to these rogues .

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LudoBear · 18/04/2021 21:03

How old are you? I'm guessing early 20s?

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