Rude parents

[Rahil]

I had a conftontation with an extremely rude couple at school drop off back in November. It was a case of a road rage which was unbelievably harsh given the fact that they knew our children were from the same school. The incident hsppened outside the gate. I have felt traumatized since and feel unsafe whenever I see them at school. The school head teacher apologized to me but never the couple.
What if another incident happens? What if they are attacking and aggressive again?

If this had happened to me, I know I’d always feel a bit awkward and embarrassed in front of those people but I wouldn’t be concerned that they would ‘attack’ again. They didn’t actually attack last time so as long as you don’t escalate your behaviour towards them by doing something worse to them than nearly driving into them, they aren’t likely to start aggressively attacking you now, 5 months later.
Most people who drive will have made a similar mistake. Most drivers will also have been on the receiving end of someone else’s mistake. Swearing at a near miss is a normal reaction. Putting your hand up to apologise for pulling out is also normal behaviour. Pulling over to berate someone because you don’t approve of their reaction to your mistake is not. You’re not entitled to dictate how they should respond. You made a fool of yourself by behaving like that and by crying and perhaps this is why you still feel awkward. You’re embarrassed. You’re not under threat.

OP someone reversed into me while I was parked up doing the school run, then claimed I'd reversed into them. As there were no witnesses the insurance decided 50/50 fault so I was left with a dented side door that I couldn't afford to fix. I saw her at the school daily for years after and I was still so annoyed whenever I saw her I used to plot doing all sorts of nasty things! You need to let it go.

OP is obviously very anxious about this there's no need to stick the boot in

Dear lord, what you need to do is mix with different types of people, some people swear and get cross and then it’s all over and done with. I doubt very much they even give you a second thought - they really don’t. They are involved with so much drama, they don’t notice anyone else!!

Get over it.

OP someone reversed into me while I was parked up doing the school run, then claimed I'd reversed into them. As there were no witnesses the insurance decided 50/50 fault so I was left with a dented side door that I couldn't afford to fix.

How could the insurance possibly have thought you reversed into them when your door was damaged??

@HerMammy

Avoid the Sistine Chapel OP 🤣

Brilliant! 🤣🤣🤣

Wow, you've had a flaming on here. I think the part of your original post that's important is not what happened 5 months ago, who did what and who said what, but that you are still upset by the outcome. It does sound as though you were distressed at the time and it's still eating away at you - you say that you suffer from anxiety and it may be that you need some medical help to calm you down and get this incident into perspective. Good luck.

"Sadly the school did nothing. When I told them the story, I expected them to facilitate an apology from their side but I believe they knew that couple and didn’t care about me..."

Yes just what teachers need is responsibility for sorting out incidents between parents outside schools 😂

@MrsKramer

"Sadly the school did nothing. When I told them the story, I expected them to facilitate an apology from their side but I believe they knew that couple and didn’t care about me..."

Yes just what teachers need is responsibility for sorting out incidents between parents outside schools 😂

Madness.

I cannot believe you actually told the school about this...

It’s not something the school needs to deal with, if anything you should have contacted the police

This post 😂😂

@Saltyslug

It’s not something the school needs to deal with, if anything you should have contacted the police

For what exactly? Swearing? 🤣

You were looking for them to ( and this forum) to tell you that it’s fine that you nearly caused a crash.

They accepted your apology. They don’t need to issue you one in return.

Your anxiety is making you dwell on it and fabricate scenarios that will probably never happen.

They have likely forgot about it.

Why did you try and involve the school?

OP - if someone pulled out in front of me, giving me a scare - and then got out of their car to tell me off for my reaction, I would be really upset.

No, I would not yell and swear, because I’m not feral. But I would internally be so upset / angry.

Can you not see this from their perspective, as well?

They reacted badly - to something you did. Their reaction probably wasn’t appropriate, but people don’t always do the right thing when they’ve had a fright.

By telling them off, I’m afraid I think you escalated it.

The school have no place demanding apologies from anyone.

I think take a step back, get a little perspective, by trying to see it from both sides, and then move on and put it behind you.

It won’t happen again, because you won’t be pulling out in front them without looking again.

Sorry but there is something disingenuous about your tale. I can't see how the anxious nervous person you are describing yourself to be as being the same person who would get out of their car and lecture an angry couple. You had confidence at the time of the near miss to confront the couple, you have had confidence to report the incident to tbe school and yet now 5 months on you are scared. What in this story are you not telling people?

And as others I would be furious with your lack of care close to a school. It is paramount to be absolutely careful driving close to a school you need to fully focus.

The mistake almost caused a crash. They were heightened, and then you told them not to be. That never works out well. It was 5 months ago, with no further action from them, and no further incidents. You've blown this out of proportion and need to work out moving on as they obviously already have.

My neighbour crashed into a parked car on our street.
He tried to intimidate the driver of the parked car but her husband saw what had happened, came over quickly and my neighbour backed down.
My neighbour then tried to get me to support his false version (that makes no sense) of what had happened.
He has since played the victim because the woman's husband was clearly not going to let him harass his wife and apparently called him out on his bad driving.
I overheard mostly the neighbour's side of the conversation - my neighbour was the one shouting. The husband didn't shout. He just repeated that their car was parked as they hadn't set off and he'd crashed into a parked car.
Each time the neighbour tells the story, the woman gets worse and is screeching verbal abuse at him whilst the brute of a man is standing over him and about to attack him. The swearing is terrible.
The Jehovah's witnesses haven't been around since

I agree that forgetting about it is the best plan. It was an emotionally heightened situation. No one was acting as they would normally. Best to just move on, lessons learned.

Potential equivalent situation from the p.o.v. of the swearer: a long time ago (more than a year) I was walking young DC to school and we were crossing a road at a traffic light pedestrian crossing. The road was busy in one direction only and there was a traffic jam on the side of the road we were crossing from, but the road was empty the other side. As the "green man" showed and we crossed, at the half-way-across-the-road point a motorcycle screeched to a halt which had been overtaking the traffic jam in the middle of the road, had jumped the red light of the pedestrian crossing, and had missed killing my DC by a whisker. You bet I swore. I believe I called him a fucking twat. I was very shaken. He probably was too, and stammered an apology. If in a situation like this it had turned out that the person I swore at was part of my local community and we had further dealings with each other I expect we would both be a little embarrassed but no further hand-wringing is required about the incident. I don't think that i owe the person i swore at an apology but neither are they in any danger of being randomly sworn at again, assuming they don't recklessly endanger my children's lives again.

Chalk it up to experience, learn the lessons of being extra-careful when manoeuvring a vehicle anywhere near a school during drop-off and pick-up times, but otherwise do not dwell on it any further. You are not owed an apology but neither are you in any danger of further negative consequences from this incident.