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Original poster

How awful would your friend’s choice of name have to be before you said something?

211 replies

PlanterGents · 17/04/2021 19:18

DFriend is pregnant with a little girl that’s due and couldn’t think of a name the entire pregnancy (for boy or girl), so found out quite late that she was having another girl.

Anyway, I saw her alongside a few other friends today and she was saying how she really wants something soft sounding yet alternative and unusual. She then announced the bloody name and I was a bit Grin so laughed it off.

Everyone went a bit quiet and then someone else piped up that it’s her choice (the name). I said ‘that isn’t a name, it’s a common word’. Friend then smiled and changed the subject.

Have now had a text from friend that she really loves the name and hopes I’ll come round to it?!

Obviously this thread is completely outing so I’ve name changed so nobody can connect me to any other threads. I’m sure a few of our friendship group use MN, as I’m sure it’s come up before. So if you’re reading this, I’m sorry for upsetting you but I’m shocked! Sorry Blush

OP posts:
ElderMillennial · 18/04/2021 10:57

Tbh it's their business. You don't have to like the name.

Maybe is not so bad.

NameChangedForThisFeb21 · 18/04/2021 10:58

I don’t think you should ever comment to the parents. It’s their decision and they are likely to go ahead regardless of what you think. They’ll just know you hate their child’s name forever.

I know someone who has named their baby something that is horrible and quite cruel. It’s also a word in a few languages that if the child travels (which they will) and is asked their name it WILL cause a lot of confusion. The conversation will go, “what is your name?” “Nothing” “you must misunderstand. I am asking what your name is?” “I understood. My name is Nothing.” In fact, a mutual friend who is not English messaged me saying “I am confused, is X not telling us the child’s name or has the child not been named as it seems they are saying nothing is the name, which cannot be right?” The mother of the child speaks the main language in which the name means “nothing” and visits the country for work and will likely take the child. Even in English, the name can be used as a verb meaning “to get rid of a problem” and is the name of some embarrassing medications aimed at, well, getting rid of problems. So yes, I was shocked and felt terrible for the child when the name was announced (as was the case with almost everyone who knows the mother) but I’d never say anything. Just smile politely, say “aw, aren’t they cute? Congratulations!” and silently pity the poor child.

I totally disagree with pps that say Maybe/Maebe is a nice name. It’s hideous and likely to attract constant teasing.

Do people actually hate their children? It’s like the thought process is “it’s more important for my child to stand out from every other child and be the only one in their class with the name, so I will name them something awful which they will always be embarrassed to say to fulfil my own need for my child to be yoonique because I am SO special that my child needs to be set aside as different.”

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/04/2021 11:06

How dehumanising to name your child a word that could be translated to Nothing.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Dustyhedge · 18/04/2021 11:06

It isn’t a name though it’s just ridiculous. That poor child. I think sometimes as parents you sort of have to get over yourself and realise that your child will need to work and live with your choice for decades. It is going to be one of those names that causes confusion as well as to whether the person is being referred to or if someone just wants to answer ‘maybe’. Not all names will be to my taste and I wouldn’t say something if I just didn’t like a name but this is a whole extra level of selfishness on the part of the parents.

LudoBear · 18/04/2021 11:07

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

I don’t think you should ever comment to the parents. It’s their decision and they are likely to go ahead regardless of what you think. They’ll just know you hate their child’s name forever.

I know someone who has named their baby something that is horrible and quite cruel. It’s also a word in a few languages that if the child travels (which they will) and is asked their name it WILL cause a lot of confusion. The conversation will go, “what is your name?” “Nothing” “you must misunderstand. I am asking what your name is?” “I understood. My name is Nothing.” In fact, a mutual friend who is not English messaged me saying “I am confused, is X not telling us the child’s name or has the child not been named as it seems they are saying nothing is the name, which cannot be right?” The mother of the child speaks the main language in which the name means “nothing” and visits the country for work and will likely take the child. Even in English, the name can be used as a verb meaning “to get rid of a problem” and is the name of some embarrassing medications aimed at, well, getting rid of problems. So yes, I was shocked and felt terrible for the child when the name was announced (as was the case with almost everyone who knows the mother) but I’d never say anything. Just smile politely, say “aw, aren’t they cute? Congratulations!” and silently pity the poor child.

I totally disagree with pps that say Maybe/Maebe is a nice name. It’s hideous and likely to attract constant teasing.

Do people actually hate their children? It’s like the thought process is “it’s more important for my child to stand out from every other child and be the only one in their class with the name, so I will name them something awful which they will always be embarrassed to say to fulfil my own need for my child to be yoonique because I am SO special that my child needs to be set aside as different.”

I can't work our what the name is! Please tell.
riotlady · 18/04/2021 11:13

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

I don’t think you should ever comment to the parents. It’s their decision and they are likely to go ahead regardless of what you think. They’ll just know you hate their child’s name forever.

I know someone who has named their baby something that is horrible and quite cruel. It’s also a word in a few languages that if the child travels (which they will) and is asked their name it WILL cause a lot of confusion. The conversation will go, “what is your name?” “Nothing” “you must misunderstand. I am asking what your name is?” “I understood. My name is Nothing.” In fact, a mutual friend who is not English messaged me saying “I am confused, is X not telling us the child’s name or has the child not been named as it seems they are saying nothing is the name, which cannot be right?” The mother of the child speaks the main language in which the name means “nothing” and visits the country for work and will likely take the child. Even in English, the name can be used as a verb meaning “to get rid of a problem” and is the name of some embarrassing medications aimed at, well, getting rid of problems. So yes, I was shocked and felt terrible for the child when the name was announced (as was the case with almost everyone who knows the mother) but I’d never say anything. Just smile politely, say “aw, aren’t they cute? Congratulations!” and silently pity the poor child.

I totally disagree with pps that say Maybe/Maebe is a nice name. It’s hideous and likely to attract constant teasing.

Do people actually hate their children? It’s like the thought process is “it’s more important for my child to stand out from every other child and be the only one in their class with the name, so I will name them something awful which they will always be embarrassed to say to fulfil my own need for my child to be yoonique because I am SO special that my child needs to be set aside as different.”

Nix?
PegasusReturns · 18/04/2021 11:13

The problem with “maybe” is whilst a bit silly, it’s also massively inconvenient.

“Could I take your name please?” “Maybe” just sets up a lifetime of irritation and frustration.

CorianderBee · 18/04/2021 11:18

I'd only say something if it was offensive and she hadn't realised. Like if it was Spanish for 'cunt' or a lesser known slur or something.

NameChangedForThisFeb21 · 18/04/2021 11:19

Nix?

Maybe Wink

osbertthesyrianhamster · 18/04/2021 11:22

Oh, poor kid. That's BAD.

ivfbeenbusy · 18/04/2021 11:22

If my parents had called me Maybe I'd emancipate myself at the first opportunity

I'd be suspicious that "maybe" there was questions over my parentage and it was my dad who had registered the name on the birth certificate 🙄

SixDegrees · 18/04/2021 11:23

@PegasusReturns

The problem with “maybe” is whilst a bit silly, it’s also massively inconvenient.

“Could I take your name please?” “Maybe” just sets up a lifetime of irritation and frustration.

Absolutely. It’s got massive potential for causing confusion throughout the child’s life.
ForwardRanger · 18/04/2021 11:33

It's difficult to handle these situations. One of my friends called their baby Booth and a child at school is called Always
When there are so many great names available...

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/04/2021 11:35

Always? Christ alive...

ForwardRanger · 18/04/2021 11:37

@GreyhoundG1rl

Always? Christ alive...
Imagine if Always and Maebe werw in the same class. With Sometimes and Never...
Merename · 18/04/2021 11:38

@PlanterGents

I mean, Maybe she will. Maybe, she won’t Grin
Grin. I came on seeing your title to say ‘you never give a view under any circumstances’ but...didn’t see this coming. Oh dear. I was thinking more when a friend told me she was thinking Cosmo or Iggy and I nodded and swallowed my judgement. I tend to think this is still one of those but I can see why it was/is provocative!!
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 18/04/2021 11:43

The conversation will go, “what is your name?” “Nothing” “you must misunderstand. I am asking what your name is?” “I understood. My name is Nothing.” In fact, a mutual friend who is not English messaged me saying “I am confused, is X not telling us the child’s name or has the child not been named as it seems they are saying nothing is the name, which cannot be right?”

To be fair, there's the old joke about calling a child 'Nathan' in parts of Scotland and NI, which isn't completely groundless.

If you wanted a slightly longer name that alludes to 'considering as nothing', how about Floccinaucinihilipilification - Floccinaucinihilipilifi for short? Grin

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 18/04/2021 11:45

One of my friends called their baby Booth and a child at school is called Always

Are you sure that Booth isn't just a nickname and the actual name is Bodyform?

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 18/04/2021 11:56

GrinGrinGrin

dottiedodah · 18/04/2021 12:25

Well look ,shes your friend and obviously likes this odd name.I dont really get why you are so invested in it . I would just say you thought the name was a bit unusual thats all .Its her baby and her choice surely?

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 18/04/2021 12:35

I would never reach a point when I would feel like I needed to comment on someone's choice of name.

I would have opinions on it in private, of course, but ultimately it's their bed. If asked my opinion I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't venture one without an invitation. If their child grows up to hate it enough they can choose to change it.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/04/2021 12:42

@AtomHeartMotherOfGod

I would never reach a point when I would feel like I needed to comment on someone's choice of name.

I would have opinions on it in private, of course, but ultimately it's their bed. If asked my opinion I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't venture one without an invitation. If their child grows up to hate it enough they can choose to change it.

Reach a point?!
AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 18/04/2021 12:52

Haha I just noticed your username @Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo - isn't that the name Mr Whatshisname discovers is his real one, in the Land of Secrets?

Appropriate for this thread Grin

I remember floccinaucilihilipilification being a 'Word of the Day' once... can't remember the meaning though.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 18/04/2021 12:54

OK @GreyhoundG1rl... get to a point? Was it really that unclear what I meant, or weird in the way I said it?

CervixHaver · 18/04/2021 12:58

Send her this link