Ex smokers - I need your help!

[Iquitit]

I quit smoking a few weeks ago and I'm struggling right now.

I'm using patches and gum but I've turned into an irrational, bitchy, overreacting bitchbag who can't sleep at all and I hate myself.
I've upset a few people recently, and I have apologised but I'm putting friendships, family relationships and more worryingly, colleague relationships at work.
I actually really dislike myself right now and I don't want to be like this, but feeling like that is making me feel worse!
I'm determined to not start again, because then I'll just feel even worse, but I can't keep on like this, it's not fair on other people, but I can't seem to stop it when it's happening.

I have apologised to those I've upset, and at least in one case I don't think I'm totally to blame, but I definitely overreacted to it.

I actually feel like I have done before when I've been depressed. I just want some sleep and some peace - without lighting up a tenners worth of death to be honest!

Anyone been through this and offer any advice please? Be very gratefully received!

Thank you

Firstly well done, you sound like you are going to get through this. Giving up smoking is so worth it, one day you will not miss it AT ALL.

Have you thought that perhaps by smoking you were bottling up all the feelings you are now giving vent to? Like turning it in on yourself instead of getting angry about whatever, and now it's coming out, maybe in what feels like an uncontrollable way.

Take a couple of days off work if possible to pamper yourself.
Get that timeline that tells you the benefits of stopping smoking by days weeks and months so you can see the good you are doing. Also, it's a good time to take up exercise, that gets rid of stress as well and will motivate you to stay stopped.

Try a different type of NRT. I couldn’t get on with patches at all, they made me almost psychotic! There are lots of different types.

One thing I did that really helped was to get an old Bic biro, take the inners out and use that to drag on. It really, really, did help. There is something about smoking that makes us climb the walls when we can't and I know they say cravings only last 20 minutes but really...

That dragging on the biro really helped, it "hit" the back of the throat. Try it.

I had to give up alcohol.

Well done for getting this far.
I remember finding the nicotine replacement tablets the best (even though they tasted rank). They definitely gave more of a hit.

Go for a run. Or take up running. It’ll help.

Could you consider vaping? A short term fix to help with nicotine?
Vaping was 1000 times easier to give up than cigs, if it helps, and vaping made giving up cigs much easier in turn.

Also second running/jogging.

Also, patches gave me no help at all

Good luck

Just keep hanging on in there - you’re doing so well!

I bought a diary and wrote absolute rubbish in it every night, but it really helped with the anxt at the time. I still have it and I laugh when I read back on it now. I have at least 10 pages of ‘god I’m so depressed, when will this ever get better?’ I honestly felt bereft without cigarettes and had to learn how to deal with every day stresses and strains without lighting up. Sometimes just going outside and taking some deep, slow inhales like you do when you smoke helped tremendously and when you feel that wave of craving and panic come over you, just sit with it. It doesn’t last long and soon it will happen less.

I have never regretted given up smoking, i’m just sorry that it took me so many years to finally do it.

Well done.

I couldn't do it on patches/gum at all. I had tablets called Champix from the GP.

20 a day smoker for about 35 years. I've not touched a cigarette now for about 9 years.

But these were the only thing that worked.

Well done!!! Are you using the patches correctly? My friend did it over stages and I only remember her having vivid dreams and then got down to the lowest dose and stopped. Do the NHS still run clinics? She had those checkins that helped.

For me I went cold turkey (took a few attempts). I got a diary and ticked every day off, I'd say after 6 weeks I was fine, so hang in there!!! Not having to start again with quitting...and the cost of smoking again...both kept me going. Always said if I could quit anyone can! You totally are half way there, just keep going

I stopped smoking in July last year. I really didn't want to, but I had no money, and owned a vape, so when I ran out of cigs, I knew I was smoking my last one and I couldn't afford anymore, and it was so depressing.

I enjoy vaping, and it gives me something to do, something to suck on, something to breathe out. Breathing is so important. It also gives me something to escape for, because you really need to get outside sometimes.

If the news tomorrow was: "smoking is good for you, cigarettes are free!" I think I might consider it 😂😂 but since that's really unlikely, I'm happy to be a non-smoker and continue to take every day as it comes.

I am "allowed" to buy cigarettes, bum a smoke, I just choose not to. I do feel better for it, it helps my purse, I no longer have a smokers cough or choking plegm running down the back of my throat. I jump out of bed in the morning for a vape and a coffee, I just don't stink like an ashtray. I am jealous of people who smoke, sometimes, but more often than not, I feel sad, because they are just people who haven't stopped yet, because it hasn't killed them, or they haven't made the decision to stop yet.

Keep going ❤️

Well done! You've done the hard part!

I agree with other posters, quitting may have just exposed feelings you masked before with cigarettes. How do you feel about your life in general? You're still ingesting nicotine so your symptoms aren't due to a physical withdrawal.

Agree also to quit drinking for a while until you're fully over the cravings.

Try to see this from a logical perspective. You don't need a cigarette, millions of people go about their daily lives without even thinking about smoking, you can be one of them!

Have you read Allen Carr's quitting smoking book? That really helped me. I quit cold turkey 7 years ago. Best £8 I ever spent.

Well done.
Are you doing this alone or getting some support?
I know GPS aren’t easy atm but you will be able to get a zoom. The NHS is very supportive of people trying to give up, especially now, and can probably put you in touch with a self help group locally.

Good luck. It’s SO worth it, 30 years on (ex 60 a day Marlboro smoker).

Have far more nicotine replacement than you think you need.

Take nicotine replacement for far longer than you think you need.

I also had to give up alcohol, turns out I really like sobriety. Don't give up , you'll get through this. Try to focus on something rather than focusing on the lack of something. I recommend some exercise. Good luck.

Thanks for the suggestions/support.

This isn't my first rodeo and I've tried vaping, and the inhalator and lozenges, and found that each time I went back, the longest I went was about a month since I have been a heavy smoker for about the last 7-8 years, I don't remember feeling like this but I also haven't really been this commited to stopping before either.

I was an occasional smoker for years and could go all day with having one or two, but as it does it crept up and up until I was a heavy smoker. I don't want to be.

I'll look into the tablets, though when speaking to the Dr a couple of years ago they didn't want to prescribe anything but patches etc because I have a history of depression and apparently champix(?) Can cause issues - though I think I've got them anyway!
The biro trick is a good idea, I'll try that, I don't want to vape because I think I associate it with failure in my mind if that makes sense, but it might be worth a try as I'm more committed this time if this doesn't pass soon.

Interesting about the patches not agreeing with some people, I hadn't considered that, just thought I was being a bit weak tbh, but worth looking at alternatives.

It's not so much a reaction to a craving, rather a complete dip in mood and not that dragging insomnia fatigue, but I just feel wide awake until I crash which isn't good working shifts and needing to sleep between them or end up awake 24-36 hours at a time.
I don't want these feelings to wear me down, and make me crack, I realise it's withdrawal and to a degree anyone leaving an addiction goes through this.
I have been walking, I can't run for very far at all because of an old injury, and because I'm so unfit, though I realise that'll get better especially now the more I do it.

I've got sugar free sweets to crunch and crunchy veg or nuts, which seems to help as cravings hit, it's the drop in mood and feeling so utterly crap that's the real issue, I don't want it to end up being an excuse for starting again.

Typing this all out is helping, I have an app tracking health and financial benefits daily which I look at every day and times like this morning I've just avoided going to the shop because I just wanted to buy some and light up again.

Thanks all, if any of you experienced this low mood and feeling so down, how long did it last? Having a time in mind might help knowing there's an end here, rather than just being scared I'm back in that place again and having taken away something I associated with coping, just sort of wallowing here.

I'm also so embarrassed and ashamed about how much of an arse I've been recently - other people shouldn't be paying for this.

I also don't drink very often at all, special occasions only, so that's literally been a glass of wine on my birthday and I worked all over Christmas and New Year so I don't have that temptation to deal with too.

I stopped in August, I was a prick for about eight weeks. I did make sure to get my ADs increased four weeks before, previous quitting attempts had been very hard on my mental health.

I did use a vape, I was using high nicotine maybe 2/3 times a day, I found lower nicotine more often was much better. I only smoked four times a day, so I thought that might make it easier.

You are not actually going through the withdrawals though because you're still taking nicotine. For as long as you're still taking nicotine then you'll be riding this emotional roller coaster of nicotine levels dropping, anxiety, chewing the gum, feeling better etc.

Please try the Allen Carr book as I wrote above. You go cold turkey (he talks you through it, it's fine) and once the nicotine is out of your system you can work on the psychological cravings.

You will eat A LOT more, so prepare for that. I put on 3 stone in 4 months when I quit but I was very slim before and basically lived off coffee and cigarettes. I'm much, much healthier now.

You can do this! Even if you have to lock yourself in a room with a bucket like Trainspotting!

I agree about the nicotine withdrawal because I'm still getting it, I've always used smoking as a crutch and coping mechanism and I think it's that I'm struggling with at the moment.
The only stop smoking service close to me without months waiting lists was with the local chemist, and I had to buy about £50 worth of stuff in one go to get it, I only had that once I'd quit for a week, so I've bought my patches and gum a week at a time - don't get me wrong I have it now because of what I've saved, but this is the first time this weekend I've seriously struggled, I got through the 3 days and then 3 weeks and thought I was coping well and at almost 5 weeks it's all just sort of imploded 😳 may visit the chemist tomorrow and see if they'll sign me up even though I'm 5 weeks in now.

Thank you all 😊

I stopped 2 weeks ago. I got a prescription for wellbutrin. I cant believe how easy it has been. I have smoked for over 40 years, through 4 pregnancies. Tried many many many times to quit over the years. I took 1 pill a day for 3 weeks by which time it had dawned on me I was now only smoking out of habit, not cos I needed nicotine if that makes sense. Like oh look 9 am smoke break time or after supper that kind of thing. Once that had dawned on me I just decided not to. I have had no cravings, I am not grumpy and I have not gained any weight. I will need to continue the pills for another 3 months by which time I will be totally detoxed. I honestly cant believe how easy this has been and wish Id tried it years ago

I'll have a look for the Alan Carr book too, I've been listening to some stop smoking things on YouTube, but with what I've already saved I can get the book and sign up at the chemist.

Get rid of the NRT - you are just replacing one addiction for another. It’s clearly not helping much anyway! Read Allen Carr’s Easy Way book, it’s not for everyone and some you can take and leave but it helped me see what the addiction is and how silly it is. Also if your app has a diary section, write in it, or use pen and paper etc - something to get your thoughts down when you have a bad craving (even if it’s just a load of swear words!). WHY do you want to quit? Be brutally honest and write it down every time you have a craving. Don’t stop talking to people about how you are feeling. Take a picture if you can of your motivation (kids, bank account whatever it is). You will get through this and it will get easier. In the meantime, you will feel depressed and angry, your body is doing everything it can to get you to have a cigarette and your mind will do some wonderful work trying to convince you to as well. You can do this!

When I stopped smoking I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to, for six months. I figured it would be easier to lose weight than grow lung cells. I put on a whole chunk of weight but dealt with it later.

I was a heavy smoker, I quit for good 16 years ago. I used patches (can't remember which type).
It took me 4 months before I really started to feel good about quitting. My tips are - lots of exercise, especially outdoors, and find a new non alcoholic drink that you enjoy. Something that you enjoy for those 'time out' moments that you used to get from smoking.
If you used to smoke indoors then some nice scented candles or oil burners will give a nice atmosphere. Or treat yourself to a nice new perfume.
I know it's hard to imagine now, but you will come to see not smoking in a positive way.