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Original poster

Ex smokers - I need your help!

53 replies

Iquitit · 11/04/2021 17:41

I quit smoking a few weeks ago and I'm struggling right now.

I'm using patches and gum but I've turned into an irrational, bitchy, overreacting bitchbag who can't sleep at all and I hate myself.
I've upset a few people recently, and I have apologised but I'm putting friendships, family relationships and more worryingly, colleague relationships at work.
I actually really dislike myself right now and I don't want to be like this, but feeling like that is making me feel worse!
I'm determined to not start again, because then I'll just feel even worse, but I can't keep on like this, it's not fair on other people, but I can't seem to stop it when it's happening.

I have apologised to those I've upset, and at least in one case I don't think I'm totally to blame, but I definitely overreacted to it.

I actually feel like I have done before when I've been depressed. I just want some sleep and some peace - without lighting up a tenners worth of death to be honest!

Anyone been through this and offer any advice please? Be very gratefully received!

Thank you Blush

OP posts:
moose62 · 11/04/2021 20:34

I'm another one that recommends the Alan Carr book. I had tried many times to give up and failed. I tried hypnosis and lit up a fag on my way out. I smothered myself in patches, chewed gum, ate too much...nothing worked. Someone lent me the book and I read it thinking " I've heard all this before" and that it wouldn't work. At the end it tells you to stub out your last cigarette. To my amazement I did. I have never smoked since, over 12 years, and have no desire to ever again. I don't know why it worked or if it would work for other people but what have you got to lose.

somethingonthecarpet · 11/04/2021 20:37

I was also a heavy smoker, for almost 30 years. Gave up 8 years ago with Champix. I had tried patches etc before but to no avail. I also have fragile mental health, so I 'watched' myself very carefully. I did feel a bit depressed at first - but then again, I was giving up something I really enjoyed, so not surprising - but after a few weeks, when I realised I could actually manage, my spirits lifted slowly. I can't remember how long the Champix course lasts, possibly 3 months, but I am so glad I did it.

snowone · 11/04/2021 20:39

Try the Nicorette spray......it was an absolute life saver for me!

theoldtrout01876 · 11/04/2021 20:40

Ive just looked it up and wellbutrin is zyban over there. Its bloody magic

tonyunclejohnny · 11/04/2021 20:42

Hardest thing I ever had to do! Stopped 8 yrs ago and I found patches, lozenges etc all made it harder. I went cold turkey, like a bear with a sore head for about a week then it gradually improved. My dh stopped at the same time using lozenges and he still uses them! 🙄

Thewinterofdiscontent · 11/04/2021 20:46

I gave up at Christmas and just went cold turkey. It was great knowing that I was chemical free after a few days. I haven’t missed it all this time but I guess I was ready.

I feel your pain though as I gave up drinking for Lent. I have been drinking no alcohol beer and wine and I’m sure it’s reinforced my drinking brain as I went straight back to daily wine and weekend hangovers. I’m going to have another stab at it after I’ve enjoyed a drink when the pubs open tomorrow.

Skin looks so much better for dropping the fags already and I’m enjoying not having to have those worries about lung/throat/ mouth cancer every time I lit up anymore .

bellabride · 11/04/2021 20:48

Another vote for the Allen Carr book.
I went on a day's Allen Carr stop smoking course, held at a local hotel, but I don't know if they're still available.
I smoked 20 Marlboro a day for 25 years, and stopped with AC 17 years ago.
I think you're doing really well.

Lineofconcepcion · 11/04/2021 20:53

The gum worked for me. I was 40 a day. Took 6 months after my last fag to slowly give up the gum. That was 18 years ago.

Don't beat yourself up for relying on the nicotine substitute. Kick the smoking habit first, then giving up the gum later on is easy.

Frownette · 11/04/2021 21:12

Well done, well done! Ok so you're already on NRT, you could try something different to gum and patches, and some mood raising things

Perhaps listen to some podcasts or a book like someone suggested upthread? There are apps you can download which will tell you how much you've saved and give encouraging messages

user1471453601 · 11/04/2021 21:17

I found stopping very easy. It is when you are in hospital having part of your lung removed because you have lung cancer.

Eleven years later, I don't crave a cig. But I'm now addicted to nicotine chewing gum.

Ah well, it's marginally better than the cigs

Dinkydody · 11/04/2021 21:30

@LittlestBoho

Well done! You've done the hard part!

I agree with other posters, quitting may have just exposed feelings you masked before with cigarettes. How do you feel about your life in general? You're still ingesting nicotine so your symptoms aren't due to a physical withdrawal.

Agree also to quit drinking for a while until you're fully over the cravings.

Try to see this from a logical perspective. You don't need a cigarette, millions of people go about their daily lives without even thinking about smoking, you can be one of them!

Have you read Allen Carr's quitting smoking book? That really helped me. I quit cold turkey 7 years ago. Best £8 I ever spent.

I second Allen Carr’s book. I stopped smoking overnight, no nicotine replacement.
AOwlAOwlAOwl · 11/04/2021 21:41

I didn't find NRT helpful at all OP - it still occupies your mind in a habit and it's the habit you need to break. Nicotine cravings will go in a few days, it's the psychological cravings that are the issue with smoking really. When cravings come, you need a distraction. I used to go and make a hot drink, just the time waiting for the kettle to boil was long enough for them to pass. When they were really bad, I used to go for a little walk. Round the building or the grounds if I was at work, a run if I was at home. Really helped my fitness!

Kolo · 11/04/2021 22:01

@Iquitit

I'll have a look for the Alan Carr book too, I've been listening to some stop smoking things on YouTube, but with what I've already saved I can get the book and sign up at the chemist.
I smoked heavily for 20 years, tried stopping so many times, with varying success. I know that feeling of low mood you're talking about. I felt absolutely bereft, like there was actually no point in living, nothing left to enjoy. Seems ridiculous to me now (15 years since actually stopping) but at the time I really felt like that.

Anyway, it was reading the Allan Carr book that made me stop finally. I went cold turkey, as he recommends, because otherwise you're just toying with your addiction. He explains it all, it's all very psychological, and it really struck a chord with me. I quit and I was fine.

36degrees · 11/04/2021 22:02

I used the inhalators with the lowest possible nicotine refill when things got really bad in the first couple of weeks after giving up, and gradually cut back until I was using them empty, then not at all.

AnniesAmazingEyebrows · 11/04/2021 22:16

The Alan Carr audiobook is what did it for me.

I tried vaping and all that shit and failed. I've been quit for 4 years now, no cravings, no mood swings, no weight gain through nibbling and I can be around people who smoke without it repulsing or making me want to smoke.

Audible have the first book free usually if you wanted to try the audio book. I had the physical book but I found listening in short chunks over a few weeks easier.

I'd give that a go if you can and you might find you can manage a lot better with or even without the nicotine replacements by the time you get to the end.

MonkeyNotOrgangrinder · 12/04/2021 06:33

Just coming on the thread to add to to the chorus 'Allen Carr' you'll never look back. Good luck!

Crabbyboot · 12/04/2021 21:46

I agree with the other posters, definitely Alan Carr! I read the book and also attended a seminar. Used to smoke twenty a day and now I'm a happy ex smoker Smile

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 12/04/2021 23:29

I’m another one who could only give up by going cold turkey. 3-4 days of absolute hell and then it was done. Physical reliance over with and only the habit to beat. I never succeeded when I still had nicotine in my system - it was like a constant ‘not as good a a cigarette’ irritation. I also made myself look at photos of my kids and imagine telling them that they were about to lose me to a preventible (or possibly preventible) illness. Not fun. Haven’t smoked since... May 2017, I think. Not counting any more. Before that I’d quit since December 2014 but I had a bit of a slip and had to quit again.

normalsaline · 13/04/2021 02:06

@DenisetheMenace

Well done. Are you doing this alone or getting some support? I know GPS aren’t easy atm but you will be able to get a zoom. The NHS is very supportive of people trying to give up, especially now, and can probably put you in touch with a self help group locally.

Good luck. It’s SO worth it, 30 years on (ex 60 a day Marlboro smoker).

How on earth did you have the TIME to smoke 60 a day?!
Inthetropics · 13/04/2021 02:47

When i stopped i was angry at all things for their mere existence and i wanted to kil all things (yes, even inanimate objects). Life seemed meaningless and i could not imagine how i'd enjoy watching the sunset at the beach without a cigarette. It was vey tough and i felt depressed, tired and yet couldn't sleep.

It got better with time; after around a month is was A LOT better. When i went cold trukey it was harder but i got better faster than when i tried to quit using patches and medication.

BananaMaltLoaf · 13/04/2021 02:47

You could try vit D and vit C supplements and magnesium to help withdrawal.

I have to say when I quit I lost the ability to have long lie ins almost overnight and never regained it!

Justilou1 · 13/04/2021 03:00

Hi OP, maybe you could also try a prescription for some antidepressants as well? Just for the time-being. You are doing a brilliant bloody job for you and for everyone who loves you. (I nursed my mum through COPD and lung cancer which went to her brain. Nobody deserves that.) Please don’t take up vaping. Evidence suggests that the oils in the vapoour are tearing holes and blocking alveoli in lung tissues too.

Billandben444 · 13/04/2021 06:45

Well done for getting this far. Get your hands on a copy of the Alan Carr book as it turned my life around. The premise is that you are the winner and to feel triumphant about it not to fear and dread the battle. Be brave and go cold turkey as you're just feeding your nicotine addiction which will prolong the process and your mood will lift when you change your attitude - pat yourself on the back and feel triumphant! I found carrying a bag of jelly babies helped - I didn't stress over the sugar as that was a small price to pay. Approach the book with an open mind and it will get you through this - don't dread the impact on you of giving up but celebrate it!

Original poster
Iquitit · 15/04/2021 08:44

Thanks all, have tried the biro trick and it's helped with the 'moments' and ordered the book suggested.

Life's been a bit stressful recently, I have always used it as a coping mechanism, I need a new one!

But, I haven't given in, I haven't had even a drag!

Well done to you all for quitting too, not easy but definitely worth it!

OP posts:
LadyEloise · 18/04/2021 20:00

How many were you smoking a day @Iquitit ?
I smoke about 5 mild cigarettes a day. Sometimes 4 , occasionally 6. Only in the evening.
When the menthol cigarettes were banned I was gutted.
I'm worried re my health so tonight I have bought none to smoke. I'm dreading it. Fingers crossed.