Ex smokers - I need your help!

[Iquitit]

I quit smoking a few weeks ago and I'm struggling right now.

I'm using patches and gum but I've turned into an irrational, bitchy, overreacting bitchbag who can't sleep at all and I hate myself.
I've upset a few people recently, and I have apologised but I'm putting friendships, family relationships and more worryingly, colleague relationships at work.
I actually really dislike myself right now and I don't want to be like this, but feeling like that is making me feel worse!
I'm determined to not start again, because then I'll just feel even worse, but I can't keep on like this, it's not fair on other people, but I can't seem to stop it when it's happening.

I have apologised to those I've upset, and at least in one case I don't think I'm totally to blame, but I definitely overreacted to it.

I actually feel like I have done before when I've been depressed. I just want some sleep and some peace - without lighting up a tenners worth of death to be honest!

Anyone been through this and offer any advice please? Be very gratefully received!

Thank you

@LadyEloise

I was at least 20 a day, sometimes it crept up to almost 30.
I'm doing a bit better at the moment, it's not easy and I've gone down a patch strength but the benefits are showing themselves 6 weeks in now, more than anything I'm aware of how I'm not short of breath as much as I was, I don't cough a lung up every morning and I smell better! In both senses of the word!
Some days are hard, distraction works for me, as has a quit tracking app.
It's still very early days for me - 6 weeks Vs 25 years - and although I have blips, like the day I posted this thread, overall it's the best decision I ever made.
Some of the suggestions here are really good and have helped me, if you haven't already read the full thread.
Good luck! Making the decision was probably the hardest part for me up to now, you've done that, keep going 😊

I found it was a double pronged approach for me; the habit of putting something to my mouth and addiction to nicotine.

I used massive patches at first whilst I got over the compulsion then I switched to chewing gums which was hard not having a constant stream of nicotine then I stopped the gum on a particularly bad hang over. It’s been 2 days in bed so I thought I’d better make the most of it. I was an arsehole for 2/3 weeks then ok.

Wish I didn’t start.

Good luck, you’re doing great already.

Have you read anything on the psychology of addiction? Your brain is not your friend at the moment and will be trying lots of different approaches to keep the nicotine coming. Once I realised that was happening it helped a lot.

Ex 40 a day smoker, gave up through using the patches. One day, about four weeks in, I forgot my patch and didn’t notice. I knew I’d cracked it then, but even 25 years later I know that occasionally my brain tries to reawaken the addiction.

Good luck.