Realised today that DS is really behind his peers :(

[Slatternforlife]

Due to lockdown 15 month DS hasn’t really been around other children. This week we’ve had friends over in the garden and I’ve realised that although they are all younger, he seems to be behind them developmentally.
I didn’t have any worries but now I’m starting to feel a bit concerned.

He walks brilliantly, but only waves sometimes, doesn’t clap although he’s started clapping one hand against mine, and has pointed at things he wants but mostly does a full hand gesture. He’s started holding his hand in a point when we are out but doesn’t actually point to anything. He also doesn’t have any words but lots of babble.

The babies we’ve seen are all 1-2 months younger and pointing at everything and saying a few words. It’s made me wonder if he is having trouble and needs a bit of help.

He does have good comprehension - he understands come to mummy, where’s daddy, bring me your ball/car/blankie (without us pointing at them), understands would you like breakfast/milk/juice, helps put clothes on, copies us in the way we use the remote control, brings us toys constantly and brings us books then sits down on us to be read to. He will do a high five, lifts his arms to be picked up, will reach for things he wants, shares food and his juice and will hold out his spoon or fork if he needs help with his dinner. He feeds himself his juice/bedtime milk.

He has a great routine and sleeps and eats really well. Doesn’t dance like some of the other babies, doesn’t really show anyinterest in music of any kind other than to look a bit serious like he’s really concentrating.

He plays with his cars by pushing them around, will roll a ball back and forth with you before he gets bored and toddles off and has started to take an interest in his shape sorter (he usually just puts the shapes in and out of the jar but has started giving the shapes to me and pushing my hands towards the different slots).

I wasn’t feeling worried at the beginning of the week but I’ve had a few comments during the visits “oh I thought he would be doing that by now!” “Aw he’s still such a baby isn’t he?” That now I’m starting to think I haven’t been doing the right things with him during lockdown and I haven’t spotted that he’s behind when I should have done.

Sorry this is long, he’s my first and I have no other points of reference. I spoke to the health visitor today but she wasn’t interested just said come back at 18 months.

He actually sounds really similar to my almost 15 month old! He can’t point yet (but does the whole hand gesture) and used to clap but now only does this intermittently. He also doesn’t wave yet. But he is super physical, very interactive, and his communication and understanding seem good despite only one recognisable word - he also will bark if you ask him what noise a dog makes and roar if you ask him what noise a dinosaur makes, but I’m not sure that counts.

I only have my older DS to compare to and one baby friend who is almost 13 months. She’s much further ahead with speech but isn’t walking yet. They can’t do everything at once!

I’m not worried at all and the health visitor was very happy with him at his in-person 12 months check.

He sounds fine unlike your unkind 'friends'

I can remember asking a HV about ds1 who had lots of single words at 18 months but wasn't talking in sentences like his week younger friend. Her brilliant advice was that at that age they can't do everything at once. DS could work out how to play properly with a toy. The friend would lob it across the room in anger because he couldn't work out how it worked.

They both got firsts at uni

This is such a great representation of different children and just shows how they all develop differently.
The roaring like a dinosaur is very familiar although he generally does it when “play fighting” with his dad (where he thinks he’s being very scary I think )

Thank you for such a reassuring positive thread

@Ellie56

He sounds fine. You just need some better friends.

This sums it up really well.

OP, just ignore the competitive parenting. All kids are different, and some parents get a kick out of comparing their dc with yours and finding yours wanting. And then telling you.

My 16 month old is in the same developmental milestones as your little one OP
My health visitor sent us for a hearing test due to no words but it came back ok.
She didn't seem concerned after that. Just said carry on as you're and as the lock down eases try and socialise with other children more as he will pick up skills quickly around them x
Maybe try and meet your friends a bit more now in the park or something? Xx

He is still a baby, your baby. My son is three and developmentally delayed (paediatric team thinks ASD). I’ve come to realise that it is their job to diagnose him and my job to love, care and mummy him. We play, read and laugh together and he is who he is. You sound like a great mum and he sounds just gorgeous (and very much normal for his age).

@fish231 we are actually under the doctor as he has very waxy ears but he understands instructions and brings things when you ask without pointing so the doctor doesn’t think he has any hearing issues

He can also hear me creep into the kitchen from behind a closed door when his dad is watching him

I’m just going to keep talking to him lots - he’s making lots and lots of babbling noises, will make some noises back at you and has a back and forth “conversation” with us - no animal noises yet, but I think he’s on the right path! He’s very whiny at the moment and more tearful and I think it’s frustration at not being able to talk!

I have to say, seeing the update about poor poor little Azaylia Cain this weekend has just made me want to cuddle DS tighter and be so so grateful I have him, talking, pointing, whatever.

DS is 16 months. He points and makes a little questioning noise. He doesn't walk, he only learned to crawl at 14 months. He has a few words but not many and he speaks more to my mum than us. Our health visitor is lovely and the only thing she wants to check in on is that he's waking by 18 months, no other concerns. He's brilliant with fine motor skills so I think it's just that he's put his energy into what interests him. Your LO is probably the same.

They all have strengths and weaknesses so your friends are setting themselves up to fail by going on about 'perfect' children because theirs will be pooing in the carseat every time they go out or something when others are all potty trained. No point boasting about any developmental gains as theyll all catch up.

@Cannotgarden this really made me laugh thank you