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Original poster

A worried rant - someone keeps making false accusations against me

98 replies

LittleFlame · 08/04/2021 16:28

Just that really - not entirely sure what to do, but need to vent somewhere. Have NC as previous posts have mentioned the area I live or personal details.

We moved into our home three years ago. The first year went perfectly. In February last year, we got a letter from the council saying someone had made a noise complaint. We're not especially noisy and only share a wall with one neighbour, who is lovely and would have spoken to me directly. On further digging it related to a one off, loud late night party and screaming arguments in our garden. As it happened, whoever had called it in mentioned a specific date. We were at a wedding 200 miles away.

In April we had another letter saying we were putting building waste in our recycling. We weren't. Waste inspector from the council came round and again no problem.

In July, someone called the family services team at the council and said DH was mistreating our 1 year old DD - again, named two times where he was screaming and swearing at her in the garden, she was dirty and crying. I had a call from them while I was at work. They didn't mention specific dates but "last week" - we were on holiday. We chatted for a bit, I offered for them to come and see DD if they wanted but they said it wasn't necessary and closed the file.

In October we were woken up at 7am by an ambulance. Someone had called to say our child was in urgent need of medical treatment (unspecified). She was perfectly well and fast asleep. We woke her up, paramedics looked her over, were happy that she was well and OK and left. They said they knew the call hadn't come from us and the age of the child didn't match DD's age.

Three hours later, the police turn up. They've been called because someone said we turned away an ambulance and our child was sick. They saw her, were happy, and left. They did say they might have to refer onto social services but it has been 6 months and nothing further has happened, so I assume they didn't.

Last week someone called the fire brigade while DH had lit our firepit in the back garden so we could sit outside while it was chilly.

I really, really don't know what to do. We have an inkling of who it might be but no actual evidence to do anything legally - at this point if we sent a harassment warning, they could counter with the fact we have no actual evidence. I don't think the police could or would do anything. It feels like we're being targeted in our own home and it's escalating, sending emergency services to our house over and over seems mad. I'm dreading every day at the moment in case yet another thing kicks off and I don't know how we stop it.

OP posts:

2bazookas · 08/04/2021 19:56

I agree you need to report to the police with a log of details and dates etc.

Have you thought of contacting the previous owner to ask them if this is a left over from when they lived there? They might have been on the receiving end and know who is doing it.

Rainallnight · 08/04/2021 20:02

Gosh, OP, that sounds awful. I agree with calling Suzy Lamplugh, they’re very helpful and sympathetic.

Lavanderrose · 08/04/2021 20:05

Op you really have my sympathy, when I lived in a flat in London I had loads of different takeaways sent to my address on purpose and it really does mess with your head! sounds like it’s your neighbour tbh. Does she have a mental illness?

LondonStone · 08/04/2021 20:16

Wow! I was reading your post like this

I’m so sorry this is happening to you and think you’ve been given some good advice already.

Can I just ask (I hope you don’t mind, I feel really invested in this now!) what makes you think it’s that particular neighbour? It’s one thing being a bit moany/ignoring you but it’s another thing completely to phone an ambulance to your home and then the police for turning the ambulance away!

Original poster

LittleFlame · 08/04/2021 21:39

Thanks everyone for the replies. I will try to address some of the questions!

I don’t think it’s the old neighbour who attacked me. That was a totally different place and time (I moved areas completely), I’ve married since then and name changed and don’t have any social media etc which would link me.

I’m not certain but we have our suspicions about which neighbour. Realistically only four neighbours can see into our garden (which you’d need to to see the fire pit), it’s definitely not neighbours either side (one is away for weeks at a time, the other has been in hospital). The third is elderly and i think quite unwell, not unrealistic it could be them.

The neighbour I suspect was polite enough at first but we haven’t really spoken. However she’s the type to complain about odd things - for example she once asked me to move my car from outside her house as she wanted to park there.

OP posts:

BigRedDuck · 08/04/2021 21:45

Gosh OP, once would be unsettling but this would really unnerve me! Definitely report to the police. This is harassment and they will have a record of who has called or ay least where it came from.

This kind of thing would terrify me, especially if it involved my kids. Whoever this is is clearly messed up.

Original poster

LittleFlame · 08/04/2021 21:45

Eek pressed post too soon! So the neighbour we think, as well as the odd questions, is a teaching assistant. Not unusual in itself but the report to family services was made through a specific safeguarding referral hub which would suggest someone who knows the system a bit more than “pick up the phone to social services” out of malice. Her husband has started appearing to get things from his car whenever I’m parked next to them and leaving for work.

We had one occasion about a month before the report about DD where she was ill and 111 sent an ambulance. She hadn’t spoke to us for months but asked a lot of personal, intrusive questions about DD’s health which put me on edge.

In terms of security we have a doorbell camera and floodlight at the back. The doorbell is linked to an internal burglar alarm. Never picked anything up.

I tried to call 101 earlier and had to give up after 40 minutes as DD was up with teething and DH is on a work conference call. Have filled in the online reporting thing so hopefully they call tomorrow.

Oh, and I’ve also just remembered we had a knock about me breaking lockdown in April last year. I work for the NHS.

OP posts:

AcornAutumn · 08/04/2021 22:12

I hope they call tomorrow

Were you just going to work and got a knock on the door?

LondonStone · 08/04/2021 22:19

Wow thanks for the update OP! I was picturing someone who lived alone, possibly with some mental heath issues given the severity of some of these accusations but she’s married and works as a teaching assistant. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, I think I would be on edge constantly just waiting for the next thing to happen.

I really hope you can somehow work this out and your family can live in peace.

Whynotnowbaby · 08/04/2021 22:23

How frustrating that you couldn’t get through. I hope they get back to you tomorrow, but do keep trying to get through if they don’t.

Original poster

LittleFlame · 08/04/2021 22:32

@AcornAutumn they turned up about 10 minutes before I got home one day. DH at the time was WFH full time with DD at home too so he answered, had a chat with them, then I pulled up. Zero interest once they saw my ID badge.

Annoyingly - if it is who I think it is - they had family parties and BBQs the whole way through lockdown and I didn’t say anything so as not to cause problems with the neighbours

OP posts:

Twizbe · 08/04/2021 22:34

You and your DH should let your employers know this is happening as well.

A friend of mine had similar issues with a neighbour. They went as far as to call their works and accuse them of all sorts. She works with kids so the accusations were safeguarding risks. It was horrible for them. Thankfully they had pre warned work so didn't have to go through a full investigation but it was still very stressful.

Tanfastic · 08/04/2021 22:45

@orangegina

Call the police

You'll probably get a bunch of pizzas and taxis turning up soon

We had this with one of our neighbours, multiple taxis turning up, dominos pizza....we had our suspicions it was a neighbour's teenage son and so DH went over and confronted them with his suspicions. Parents straight away defended him, was enraged we could suspect etc etc.....but it never happened after that.

Yes definitely contact the police and get the ball rolling, this kind of thing needs to be nipped in the bud.

Babygotblueyes · 08/04/2021 22:46

@Twizbe

You and your DH should let your employers know this is happening as well.

This is a great point - that is a classic way to escalate harassment. The police do take this stuff much more seriously now than they used to.

ScrumptiousBears · 08/04/2021 22:52

Op your force should have an online reporting service in place. Use that so you don't have to sit In the 101 queue. They will log it and get back to you.

bluetongue · 08/04/2021 23:01

I really feel for you OP. Something similar happened to me after I made a legitimate complaint about a neighbour. Like you I had history with a previous abusive neighbour who made my life hell. I’ve lived in numerous rental houses and never had any other issues with neighbours so I don’t think I’m the problem. Sadly there are some people out there that seem to enjoy making other people’s lives miserable.

I had to tell my employer about my unhinged neighbour as he threatened to make accusations to them. It was so stressful I ended up having take time off work, see a counsellor and go back on anti depressants.

OverTheRubicon · 08/04/2021 23:11

@HeronLanyon

Good you are reporting. Great advice above but please do NOT speak to the neighbour you suspect may be involved. Leave things to the police. Make sure you get a named officer as contact and do not downplay anything as you describe the incidents. If you haven’t already just do a proper list of dates and include those where you were elsewhere etc.

Sounds as though whoever is doing it if they don’t have some twisted motive has some mental health issue.

What you described includes offences.

Good luck op.

Agree with this. Don't talk about it to anyone, it truly could be any of them (sorry if that is horribly creepy for you), or another person who's been sitting outside your house to see things like the smoke from a fire pit and to watch your reactions (even sorrier).

Like others said, there have quite possibly also been other reports that just never got escalated so you've never seen them.

Luckily unlike threatening behaviour by an ex neighbour that is harder to prove, there should be traceable numbers for all these calls, and there are clear offences they could be charged with.

FunTimes2020 · 08/04/2021 23:12

@Bluntness100

The other thing op you need to recognise is whomever is doing it will be mentally unwell and in need of help. As galling as it is, for their sake as well you need to call it in. If they are in need of help this would enable them to get it.

Not necessarily. They might just be an arsehole, and arsehole isn't a recognised mental health condition.

AcornAutumn · 08/04/2021 23:15

I reckon it's an arsehole as well, sadly.

CausingChaos2 · 08/04/2021 23:17

It’s good that you have a record of what has happened so far. Make sure you write down anything, no matter how insignificant it may seem at the time. It’s all part of building a picture up.

Although you’re bound to speculate it could be any of your neighbours, so be careful if you’re tempted to confront anyone. With the firepit, I imagine the smoke could be seen from above, so not necessarily the case that the person overlooks your garden.

Bluntness100 · 08/04/2021 23:17

I’m not sure, I think anyone who does this is likely to be quite unwell, it’s obsessive and weird and out with the realms of normal. It may be an elderly or lonely neighbour, I don’t think the op mentioned age or relationship status , and there could be an issue there.

But, like most of us, I’ve met many arseholes, and they don’t behave like this.

Bluntness100 · 08/04/2021 23:18

Sorry ignore that, just seen the ops post about a married teaching assistant,,arsehole it is.,.

babbaloushka · 08/04/2021 23:23

That is so creepy and odd. What were the claims about your DD's health?

Cipot · 08/04/2021 23:23

Someone in Reading has been jailed for wasting emergency services time by repeatedly making false accusations against a person. I hope they get this one, they sound horrible.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 08/04/2021 23:26

We had something similar to happen to us years ago. We moved into a new apartment and the downstairs neighbor was constantly calling the police reporting crazy things. At one point they claimed my son "beat up his girlfriend and took off". Some police showed up at our door and car chased down my son (who had left to go to a dr appt) and made him return to the apartment. There was no girlfriend, there was no fight, nothing. Finally it happened so often the neighbors family had to move him into another apartment somewhere else. He had mental health issues. I felt bad for him, but having the police called on us constantly for imagined things was very frustrating.
I would guess that who ever is doing this to you has mental health issues (unless you have an enemy you didnt know about).

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