I really wish colleagues would observe better digital etiquette

[LadyJaye]

Light-hearted shouty rant.

I've been working remotely for a lot of years now, and I enjoy it. I work in IT at director level, so have been using platforms such as Slack and so on for forever - absolutely no problem there.

However, I'm starting to get really pissed off with colleagues who just don't seem to be able to 'read the room' with regards to digital etiquette - most commonly, those who haven't really worked remotely for long periods of time before. The absolute worst offenders are immediate peers, so it's a bit more difficult to tell them to fuck off.

If I change my status to 'Do Not Disturb', for example, it means just that! I don't do it very often, but if I need to get my head down and crack on, then LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE and I will get back to you when I'm ready.

Also, people who send messages as though they're channelling their inner James Joyce:

'Hi LadyJaye'

'How are you?'

'Hope you had a good weekend.'

'Anyway, just wanted to ask you about...'

JUST STOP, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY, AND THEN SEND ME ONE FUCKING MESSAGE. JUST THE ONE.

And don't get me started on unscheduled Teams/Zoom calls...

One of the many, many reasons that I switched to almost 100% remote work was that I couldn't be doing with people, in an open office environment, stopping off at my desk 'for a chat'. Now it seems that even that last bastion of defence has been stripped away...

Are some people lacking in (the admittedly more complex) boundaries surrounding digital communications, or do they just not think?

About 2 weeks ago I was presenting my screen with senior management and the country branch managers providing a training session on a new process.

One of the branch managers who was in my call, actually sent me a Skype message saying what a load of shit it was and it popped up on my screen in the corner like "what a load of shit" for all and sundry (including the MD) to see .

Not helped by an awful delay I get when I hit "ignore". It was obvious what he had said so I called him out on it and tried to turn it into a joke, but I just couldn't believe the dickhead sent it whilst watching me present my desktop 🤦🏼‍♀️.

OP I don’t think you have really grasped how to use Slack. It’s an asynchronous platform. The idea behind DND/away isn’t that people don’t send you messages, it’s that you don’t see them & respond to them until you’re ready. Perhaps use the technology in the way it’s intended and you won’t be so cross.

On the other stuff, shrug, horses for courses. I find it’s the software engineers at our place who are the worst offenders for streams of personal stuff on slack but maybe that’s a generational thing.

This made me laugh, I hate the many teeny messages too, just tell me what you want! And I’m not in IT. I’ve been working remotely for a few years now but we had the same when I was in the office back in the days of Skype. Once I worked on a huge team on an insanely busy project and we had to set some formal rules on IM communication because everyone was so overwhelmed with work and emails/IMs, one of which was to send your message all in one go, including the pleasantries

I always respect DND, I only use it sparingly when I’m really trying to concentrate on something.

And how long do you then have to wait for them to get to your ticket!

Um the correct amount of time as agreed in the service level agreement prioritising the tickets as they arrive in the service desk.

I appreciate this doesn’t suit those who do not want to be prioritised with the entire organisation because reasons. Which is exactly why most IT people who are connected with support ignore the direct messages, calls, emails that should be going to the service desk.

I don't even work remotely, but that would drive me up the the wall.

Reading all your posts LadyJaye you sound fine and sociable.

I work in job that is very time sensitive, lots needs doing, and lots of people need to get their heads down to get it done. I Have been known to lose my shit with repeat offenders, of colleagues who amble along with no notion of urgency, and will stop me in my work to talk inane bollocks or to ask how when they should do something, when it's been explained/demonstrated a 100 times before.

Isn't the multi message thing on Teams because lots of people don't know how to do the paragraphs thing in one message? So they go to start another line and it sends instead.

Crivvens, I didn't really expect my minor shouty rant to go to four pages!

Interesting bifurcation of those who get it and those who think I'm an appalling misanthrope.

I am the opposite completely - I find wfh difficult and the things you describe (being able to pick up the phone without scheduling and having some polite small talk before making a request) make it bearable and increase team creativity and a sense of belonging and culture. You would hate to work with me!

One of my colleagues does this pretty much every day. I sit there watching the little lines wishing she'd just spit it out.

We use DND while presenting or doing something that can't be interrupted, and yes people still try to phone.

But people do this in real life offices too, them: hi ! how are you ? How was your weekend? Me: fine. you ? ( through gritted teeth) & in my head: sorry but I'm just trying to get on! What do you want?!
It's tedious !

quite frankly, if I need to speak to someone in IT in a hurry they’d better be there, because it’s going to be urgent

Well, that's the attitude to get all your IT support playing exactly by the rules, insisting you must raise a ticket first, and it won't then be treated as a priority.

Some IT people have crap people skills, but many do not. Pretty much like users.

I’m with you, OP! My (much younger) colleagues tend to send this sort of message.

Hi Cherrysoup

I was watching TV last night

There was a programme

It was about (something I like)

This sort of messaging drives me nuts.

@RichardMarxisinnocent
"I've been assuming that do not disturb means don't phone me, and if you message me don't expect an immediate answer. I had no idea some people use to to indicate they don't want to be messaged. I assumed people would just turn off notifications if they don't want to be disturbed by a message."

Oh, tbh maybe it's my wrongful thinking then. As I assumed Busy would be more apt for the "if you message me don't expect an immediate answer."
I thought DND would seem more serious like "I am concentrating on a time crucial piece of work". Therefore, no contact until I'm Available.
But that's just how I thought of it - but then it never worked with my colleagues anyway 🤣

@Cherrysoup
My colleague does this.
One time I didn't reply just to see how many messages she'd send in a row until she stopped.

17!

@ToDoListAddict that’s mad!

The same colleague will talk in text speak too, she’ll say BRB and leave the room. Took me a second to realise she meant Be right back.

I'm the sales director at a tech company and we heavily use slack and always have. Yanbu. I find myself muttering 'skip to the end' at all the inanities preceding the point of the conversation. It's fine by phone but pointless by IM. Or email. Waffley emails do my head in too.

Does “soft return” work on ms teams? If so this is the revelation I’ve been waiting for! Plus is it possible to stop the pop ups but not actually mute the group? I have so many group chats going on it drives me insane.

But in general, as a post pandemic home worker, I love the fact that teams makes us all so accessible. I see and speak to more of my direct team then I did when we were in branch as we were all based in different branches.
Due to a restructure my current team only formed last summer and I’ve never met half of them face to face, yet we are closer and speak more often than my pre pandemic team.

Does “soft return” work on ms teams?

Hold down shift while pressing return.

I agree....my particular bugbear is when a colleague can see from my status that I'm in a meeting and they message me. I know I could ignore but....if I do that I'll completely forget to reply ever. If I was in an actual F2F meeting I wouldn't get someone popping their head in the meeting room to ask me a non urgent question so why should it be any different when working remotely?!

YANBU - it's interesting because I really miss the office and the casual conversation, but I've found the digital equivalent excruciating. I think it's because there are no non verbal cues for people to tell whether you're busy so they steamroller in.

We've got a mix of new and legacy systems still in our work so I get an awful combo of multiple messages on messenger, a follow up message on teams saying messenger isn't working, an attempted call on teams (even when I'm in a meeting thanks to work settings which can't be changed), a call on my mobile, then finally an email which still doesn't actually address the issue and just asks me to contact them ASAP.

Inevitably when I go back and say I'm in back to back meetings for 4 hours, let me know what it is in case I need to reschedule, its always something minor they want to check that should have been put in an email for response by the end of the day.

@Eminybob

Does “soft return” work on ms teams? If so this is the revelation I’ve been waiting for! Plus is it possible to stop the pop ups but not actually mute the group? I have so many group chats going on it drives me insane.

But in general, as a post pandemic home worker, I love the fact that teams makes us all so accessible. I see and speak to more of my direct team then I did when we were in branch as we were all based in different branches.
Due to a restructure my current team only formed last summer and I’ve never met half of them face to face, yet we are closer and speak more often than my pre pandemic team.

You can downs the chat text window so it automatically does soft returns and you can change font, embed links etc.

You can also turn notifications off so all you get is a red number over the teams icon. No sound, no pop ups. Bliss!

99% of the time I'll check before caling but if I'm showing as available and people phone me, fair enough. Sometimes when you're really busy, it's easier to pick up the phone for a brief call than spend time typing out a message or email.

You can also turn notifications off so all you get is a red number over the teams icon. No sound, no pop ups. Bliss!

Aha.