I really wish colleagues would observe better digital etiquette

[LadyJaye]

Light-hearted shouty rant.

I've been working remotely for a lot of years now, and I enjoy it. I work in IT at director level, so have been using platforms such as Slack and so on for forever - absolutely no problem there.

However, I'm starting to get really pissed off with colleagues who just don't seem to be able to 'read the room' with regards to digital etiquette - most commonly, those who haven't really worked remotely for long periods of time before. The absolute worst offenders are immediate peers, so it's a bit more difficult to tell them to fuck off.

If I change my status to 'Do Not Disturb', for example, it means just that! I don't do it very often, but if I need to get my head down and crack on, then LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE and I will get back to you when I'm ready.

Also, people who send messages as though they're channelling their inner James Joyce:

'Hi LadyJaye'

'How are you?'

'Hope you had a good weekend.'

'Anyway, just wanted to ask you about...'

JUST STOP, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY, AND THEN SEND ME ONE FUCKING MESSAGE. JUST THE ONE.

And don't get me started on unscheduled Teams/Zoom calls...

One of the many, many reasons that I switched to almost 100% remote work was that I couldn't be doing with people, in an open office environment, stopping off at my desk 'for a chat'. Now it seems that even that last bastion of defence has been stripped away...

Are some people lacking in (the admittedly more complex) boundaries surrounding digital communications, or do they just not think?

Interesting take!

I will email (rather than IM) if someone is DND so they can come back to me at their own leisure, and I hard return mid conversation but never with my first message... in fact I often jump in with the question and my second (immediate) follow up is “hope you’re well btw” or other pleasantry.

Unscheduled Teams calls are just a phone call though. Answer or don’t answer. I would never call my colleague on their mobile, I would always Teams call and it’s up to them if they answer.

I think it’s less etiquette and more people’s different styles of communication, which I would have adapted to in an office environment. It’s only an issue if somebody else takes issue (eg if someone is annoyed I don’t reply when on DND)

Unless your company actually has a policy covering all of these (minor) irritations then I think you’ve decide that just because YOU like doing things a particular way that’s the ‘etiquette’ - in reality the etiquette hasn’t really formed yet - and things change over time. Is it possible that you just don’t like your colleagues (or people in general)?

It so sounds like you are the issue here, if your OP is anything to go by.
If you are really that fucking miserable and unapproachable thank god you are not in the office with your colleagues dragging the mood down

I totally ignore ‘busy’ flags and the like on Teams as lots of people simply forget to update their status.

If I call someone and they don’t want to answer then they can reject it and let me know when would be a better time. And, quite frankly, if I need to speak to someone in IT in a hurry they’d better be there, because it’s going to be urgent otherwise I’d look for a more convivial source of conversation!

I never understand why this kind of thing bothers people. I go for fairly minimal messages but quite like the chatty ones I get. One person at work adds in all sorts of irrelevant but interesting things. She is such a lovely person to work with.

@Skral

I never understand why this kind of thing bothers people. I go for fairly minimal messages but quite like the chatty ones I get. One person at work adds in all sorts of irrelevant but interesting things. She is such a lovely person to work with.

As I said upthread though, for me it’s the difference between getting a chatty message all in one chunk (fine) and one that comes through line by line with a separate notification for each (annoying).

Sounds like you have been working online for so long you've forgotten social niceties. They're important in the workplace, any workplace. And more so from the top down. You say "at director level" so presumably these people are helping to earn money for you.
Slack's a pile of shit though, and I do agree if I had to use it permanently (one of my projects is Slack platformed but jeez it's clunky) I'd probably be grumpy.

Because I work with systems, there's always the worry that somebody is breathlessly trying to tell you that something's down or horribly broken

Maybe they'd get to the point more quickly OP if you weren't so unapproachable

I wonder if the "Hi X" people are perfectly happy to ignore that sort of message and therefore just see it as an invitation whereas other people feel it's a command. They then feel obliged to respond.

I have found most people with busy or dnd on their status are just getting on with their day to day work , part of which is to communicate with each other( not in meetings, not doing an unusual project) If I waited for peoples status to say available I'd never get anything done. I moved to a new office with no sicial niceties in emails, brusque and to the point. It is horrible. I am trying to change the culture, also try to make phonecalls to stop the ping pong back and forth emails. I am probably op worst nightmare .

I am a chatty, friendly person (imo!) but I do agree with the "hi, how are you" messages really annoying, as you then have to respond before they tell you what they want! I am in the "hi how you doing, could you help/advise me on this" kinda club instead! The conversation can continue informally afterwards if they want, but just messaging "hi, how are you" and waiting for me to respond to say what they want really gets my on my nerves. Not sure why! With the DND thing though, I always thought that was to mean, don't expect an immediate reply, rather than literally, do not message me. Oops.

You sound a tad up your own fundament.

Also work in IT - comments like those from Jaundiced are exactly the kind of attitude we get a lot which I think is why we can come across sometimes as being less than ‘convivial’ - because people think we are just waiting around for them to click their fingers. When they have what they deem as an emergency they think we had better drop everything... it’s such a shitty attitude - unless you are calling a help desk, people have lots of things they are balancing, and what constitutes an emergency for you is rarely important in the overall scheme of things.

If you treat people as commodities don’t be surprised when they view you as a nuisance.

@Sleepingdogs12

I have found most people with busy or dnd on their status are just getting on with their day to day work , part of which is to communicate with each other( not in meetings, not doing an unusual project) If I waited for peoples status to say available I'd never get anything done. I moved to a new office with no sicial niceties in emails, brusque and to the point. It is horrible. I am trying to change the culture, also try to make phonecalls to stop the ping pong back and forth emails. I am probably op worst nightmare .

Weirdly, I actually don't mind (and sometimes quite like, I'm not a total monster!) phone calls - as you say, preferable to IM / email ping pong - but in my fantasy workplace, it'd go something like this:

Colleague: "Hi LJ, hope you're good - I'm having a problem with / would like to discuss specific issue. Do you have two minutes?"

Me: "Sure, no problem [picks up phone, probably has quite a nice chat]."

I gave up trying to use DND as my close colleagues seem to think it doesn't apply to them and message anyway with questions/queries that could have waited.

I've been assuming that do not disturb means don't phone me, and if you message me don't expect an immediate answer. I had no idea some people use to to indicate they don't want to be messaged. I assumed people would just turn off notifications if they don't want to be disturbed by a message.

I thought DND on Teams meant that notifications for messages & calls didn’t appear? Isn’t it mainly to avoid interruptions when screen sharing?

And, quite frankly, if I need to speak to someone in IT in a hurry they’d better be there, because it’s going to be urgent otherwise I’d look for a more convivial source of conversation!

Unless you work in IT and are alerting a colleague who also works in IT that something major is broken or not working properly, you shouldn't be messaging a random person in IT via teams expecting them to respond immediately and fix something, you should be contacting the help desk or service desk.

@RichardMarxisinnocent

And, quite frankly, if I need to speak to someone in IT in a hurry they’d better be there, because it’s going to be urgent otherwise I’d look for a more convivial source of conversation!

Unless you work in IT and are alerting a colleague who also works in IT that something major is broken or not working properly, you shouldn't be messaging a random person in IT via teams expecting them to respond immediately and fix something, you should be contacting the help desk or service desk.

And how long do you then have to wait for them to get to your ticket!

I'm just happy someone has told me how to do soft return on Slack

I wonder if there’s an age aspect here. When IMing socially, people my mums age and older are more likely to type out a whole long message before sending, people my age (who grew up on MSN) etc are more likely to send it line by line. Personally I prefer line by line, it’s such a drag trying to have a conversation when you get the ‘person is typing’ dots for ages. It’s not how a natural conversation flows.

I ignore ‘busy’ statuses and do not disturbs. Sorry. I just find it all a bit worthy and self important.

I do, however, hate the ‘how are you’ followed by absolutely f all. It’s instant messaging. Just tell me what you want!!

Humbug!

Well, clearly I must be a very irritating digital colleague! Thankfully, I've been on maternity leave for the last year or so, so hopefully haven't irritated the pants off my peers.

Could you please post a more complete list of transgressions to avoid? Sort of, 'Virtual office etiquette 101'?

@MrsFionaCharming

I wonder if there’s an age aspect here. When IMing socially, people my mums age and older are more likely to type out a whole long message before sending, people my age (who grew up on MSN) etc are more likely to send it line by line. Personally I prefer line by line, it’s such a drag trying to have a conversation when you get the ‘person is typing’ dots for ages. It’s not how a natural conversation flows.

TBH, I'd say the opposite - I'm north of 35 myself, but I find younger colleagues (digital natives, who grew up with IM) are much better at getting to the point.

I'll chat in one-liners, reactions etc on WhatsApp and so on socially.

I mostly just close their Skype window.

I do have a repeat offender of this that I've lost my patience with. I've previously asked her to send queries to my teams email inbox and one of us will pick it up. Flag it as urgent if necessary.

However, she usually tries to Skype call me. When I don't answer she sends me a message on Skype.

After 10 mins she'll send me a message on Teams.

Then she'll email me and CC the team inbox. It's usually with an issue that has a 30 day turnaround. I've told her this previously.

I then put a reminder in my calendar for 28 days time to reply to her. I don't appreciate queue jumping cheeky bitches. I will deal with all of the other property queued emails first. Feck off Jemma.