Page 3 | How would you feel to realise that the person you just had a chat with or posted on their thread is the person you can't stand on another thread?

ThePosterYouHate · 2021-04-04T20:55:35+00:00

(Lighthearted, hopefully) I love mumsnet namechange feature and one of the reason is this. I personally don't care if I've disagreed with someone on another issue before - if we're agreeing on a different thread and having a nice time, it's fine by me. People are complex and there's usually something to agree/disagree on. I know not everyone thinks this way and if not for the namechange option, half of mumsnet will probably stop talking to the other half of mumsnet and threads will deliberately go unanswered based on who posted. So how would you feel if you suddenly realised the person you just replied or posted on their thread is that same poster you hate?

1AngelicFruitCake · 05/04/2021 09:02

@Ivebeeninlockdowntoolong

I think the NC facility is great, too. I use it so that no-one can join up the dots too much between my threads and out me.

In the early days of discovering mumsnet I used to regularly tell people IRL how it was a really discovery for me. Now I don't. I really do not want anyone IRL to link my posts back to me.

The peculiar thing on here, though, is how you write a few paragraphs to describe a situation or set out a point of view - and then someone deduces that you are all kind of a terrible, vile person. How two dimensional can you get? I hope when I reply to any posters that I remain courteous and I try to remember I don't really know them just because they have stuck a post on here.

The other thing is when people berate someone for "being a horrible friend" if they post something negative, eg recent poster was concerned that a good friend and her family were heading towards obesity. But where else can you go to articulate these thoughts and get any answers? The whole point of mumsnet is to seek advice in a an anonymous forum so you don't confront and hurt someone in IRL? And isn't that better than to run the risk of permanently ruining a relationship?

I agree with this completely!

On a previous thread I gave an opinion about something completely unimportant in the grand scheme of things. The hostility I got back and being called names surprised me! When I reply I’m commenting on
The discussion, I find it strange to start stating how horrible a person is (unless it was a really controversial viewpoint).

Potpourriandpennysweets · 05/04/2021 09:16

I have friends IRL I fundamentally disagree with on various issues. I have also changed my own views over the years on some things. I have massively educated myself On a lot of issues, but I have to remember everyone else's hasn't done that. I don't get to be angry with people who have either not done the research themselves, or have done the research and reached a different conclusion. We all see the world differently. I try to concentrate on what we have in common , not what divides us. So if somebody was an anti vaxxer on one thread, but a feminist on the other, I would concentrate on the bits we agree on.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/04/2021 09:39

I’ve also noticed that some of the prolific users never start threads but comment on Others. I don’t understand that! Put yourselves up for scrutiny now and again!

I very rarely start threads. That’s not because I’m not willing to put myself up for scrutiny but because I rarely have things to start a thread about. I mostly started threads on the conception and pregnancy boards between 2019 and 2020 whilst TTC DD2.

Sparklingbrook · 05/04/2021 09:54

I very rarely start threads. That’s not because I’m not willing to put myself up for scrutiny but because I rarely have things to start a thread about

I am the same. At the other end of the scale some like to start a thread about everything going on in their life. Or unable to make decision without random strangers on the internet’s input.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/04/2021 09:58

@Sparklingbrook

I very rarely start threads. That’s not because I’m not willing to put myself up for scrutiny but because I rarely have things to start a thread about

I am the same. At the other end of the scale some like to start a thread about everything going on in their life. Or unable to make decision without random strangers on the internet’s input.

Yes it does seem that way.

1AngelicFruitCake · 05/04/2021 10:06

@Sparklingbrook

I very rarely start threads. That’s not because I’m not willing to put myself up for scrutiny but because I rarely have things to start a thread about

I am the same. At the other end of the scale some like to start a thread about everything going on in their life. Or unable to make decision without random strangers on the internet’s input.

Yes I’ve noticed that! The only reason I said about starting threads is that when I searched a particular poster (who seems to be on a lot of threads) I was surprised to not read any of their threads.

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 05/04/2021 10:17

I used to start threads quite a bit. I very rarely do now, because they're often not helpful.

CirqueDeMorgue · 05/04/2021 10:19

There are a few posters who have been around forever and are 'MN celebrities' and I generally disagree with one of them on every single thing she posts. She's just a dick for the sake of it.

Bloodybridget · 05/04/2021 10:21

I was unreasonably upset years ago when a poster I'd always "liked" was very rude to me for no good reason (about my opinion of a film, ffs!). I always thought I'd steer clear of her after that. But now I can't even remember who it was!

CandyLeBonBon · 05/04/2021 10:23

Haha I've had this recently! Got quite heated on one thread and exchanging pleasantries on another! I don't bear grudges and unless something like that becomes obviously personal, I take it all with a pinch of salt!

CirqueDeMorgue · 05/04/2021 10:23

There is also another 'prolific' poster who seems to rub people up the wrong way but I often find myself agreeing. 🤷‍♀️

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 05/04/2021 10:29

The scenario you describe doesn't worry me, but I do worry that I might accidentally be vile to someone who has previously been nice to me. Especially if it's someone who has laughed at my jokes.

I generally try to behave myself on here, but I do have the odd cowbag day

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 05/04/2021 16:46

@JesusInTheCabbageVan I still remember, 'I am here, my child.'

Fembot123 · 05/04/2021 16:59

@PegasusReturns

How do you end up hating someone on MN?!

Hate is a strong word, more..think they are a div ☺️

Fembot123 · 05/04/2021 17:01

@DarkMutterings

Someone once disagreed with me on a thread, in fairness a controversial topic but she really went got stuck in to me repeatedly calling me out on that thread demanding I explain myself.

Then followed me around for about a month after - every thread I posted on, she'd start to argue with me.

Since then I name change a lot...

I HATE that, I had one poster chasing me round a thread demanding answers to her questions but I was making dinner 😂

Fembot123 · 05/04/2021 17:02

I think it’s poor form when a poster has argued on one thread and then brings it up on another.

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 05/04/2021 17:12

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

I’ve also noticed that some of the prolific users never start threads but comment on Others. I don’t understand that! Put yourselves up for scrutiny now and again!

I very rarely start threads. That’s not because I’m not willing to put myself up for scrutiny but because I rarely have things to start a thread about. I mostly started threads on the conception and pregnancy boards between 2019 and 2020 whilst TTC DD2.

I’ve also noticed that some of the prolific users never start threads but comment on Others. I don’t understand that! Put yourselves up for scrutiny now and again!

They probably name change if starting a thread. Which makes sense- starting a thread by necessity exposes more of yourself than simply replying to one and a prolific poster who doesn't name change should be very wary of how much of themselves they share, to prevent being outed.

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 05/04/2021 17:12

Sorry, accidental quote there!

AWamBamBoom · 05/04/2021 17:31

I think there's a big difference in disagreeing to being rude. Some people just like to argue i suppose

VladmirsPoutine · 05/04/2021 17:35

Is it ever really that serious?

Original poster

ThePosterYouHate · 06/04/2021 08:15

I’ve also noticed that some of the prolific users never start threads but comment on Others. I don’t understand that! Put yourselves up for scrutiny now and again!

They probably name change if starting a thread. Which makes sense- starting a thread by necessity exposes more of yourself than simply replying to one and a prolific poster who doesn't name change should be very wary of how much of themselves they share, to prevent being outed

I think so too. Many seem to have a main username, then namechange for other posts or threads.
I find it funny when someone's talking about a poster they haven't seen in a while, then decides they may have left MN. Really? The only answer to not seeing a username around is that they left, not that they've namechanged and are posting away under a different name?

OP posts:

CatsHairEverywhere2 · 06/04/2021 08:17

I wouldn’t care. If I’ve had a disagreement on another thread with someone, it stays on that thread. I can dislike someone’s opinion or stance on something but that doesn’t mean that I take an objection to them as a person. I don’t know them and I disagree with plenty of people in real life without feeling like I can no longer engage with them on anything.

FedNlanders · 06/04/2021 08:18

I don't look at names.

Original poster

ThePosterYouHate · 06/04/2021 08:20

I can dislike someone’s opinion or stance on something but that doesn’t mean that I take an objection to them as a person

YY. I take more objection to people as a person if they can't agree to disagree with others without making it a personal war.

OP posts:

Original poster

ThePosterYouHate · 06/04/2021 08:21

Pleaae ignore 'as a person'

OP posts: