How would you feel to realise that the person you just had a chat with or posted on their thread is the person you can't stand on another thread?

[ThePosterYouHate]

(Lighthearted, hopefully)
I love mumsnet namechange feature and one of the reason is this. I personally don't care if I've disagreed with someone on another issue before - if we're agreeing on a different thread and having a nice time, it's fine by me. People are complex and there's usually something to agree/disagree on.

I know not everyone thinks this way and if not for the namechange option, half of mumsnet will probably stop talking to the other half of mumsnet and threads will deliberately go unanswered based on who posted. So how would you feel if you suddenly realised the person you just replied or posted on their thread is that same poster you hate?

New thread = slate wiped clean otherwise it's just too playground.

Yes!

Funny you should mention it.

There's a regular on MN who often has a go at me, but only if I post using one particular name. She doesn't do it if I post under another name.

There’s a poster that has a go at me quite a bit. Same posting style but different names.

Some posters have such a distinctive posting style that it's very easy to recognise them through frequent namechanges. These posters tend not to realise how identifiable they make themselves.

There's too many names I can never remember what anyone said. Either nice or not.

How do you end up hating someone on MN?!

I know a few posters I strongly suspect to be the same people with different usernames but of course I wouldn't mention it. It's not so much their posting style but the 'energy' behind their posts. Then for some, this includes their posting style. This isn't meant to be woo, just something I can usually tell.

For that reason, I can imagine I'm not totally unrecognisable to some posters and it really doesn't matter to me if someone suspects.

I never notice names really unless a poster has really upset me previously !!

It would not bother me at all :). With certain caveats for any kind of discrimination. Eg if I disagreed with someone because they used a very deregetory term, then we agreed that the minimum wage should be raised, I don't think that the second interaction would be enough for to change my opinion of them (in fact I know that it wouldn't). But it doesn't matter.

End of the day, this is a discussion forum.. What happens on the site, stays on the site, I have no intention of meeting anyone from here in RL. Discussion is educational, it introduces u to new points of view, whilst cementing the beliefs that you already hold. :) am sure that I've had some heated arguments with ppl, who have later supported me on other topics. It really doesn't matter.

For the record I don't think I've ever name changed, but am aware some ppl do! Wouldn't be able to tell though....

I never look at user names.

I had a nice friendly chat with someone on a low carb thread once and then realised they had been a complete patronising cow to me on another thread. I did an advanced search of them out of curiosity and noticed they were really kind and helpful to people on low carb threads, but really combative on most others!

It’s happened to me a few times. Doesn’t bother me. People contain multitudes

I tend to always disagree with the same posters so if they name changed I wouldn’t know/care but I’d still disagree with them, it’s not a personal vendetta although certain names do stick in your head. If your opinions really clash then it’ll remain so whatever the username.

I rarely look at usernames, but there is one user who posts and has a particular (shitty) tone to how they write - whenever I read a comment that’s horrible I immediately think “bet that’s XXXX” - it always is.

This has recently happened to me IRL, I have been added to a FB hobby group by a woman I later realised was very rude to me over the phone (work) and she keeps saying nice things but I have that image lodged in my mind, she was so very rude.

I don't 'hate' any posters. I don't hate people in real life, let alone people on the internet I know nothing about. There are posters who I think often have an interesting viewpoint on things, but they are very few and the majority of the time I don't even notice people's user names.

Someone once disagreed with me on a thread, in fairness a controversial topic but she really went got stuck in to me repeatedly calling me out on that thread demanding I explain myself.

Then followed me around for about a month after - every thread I posted on, she'd start to argue with me.

Since then I name change a lot...

Sometimes I read a well thought out, considerate and rational post from someone and then I see the same username trolling on another thread. It makes me smile more than anything else.

I think the NC facility is great, too. I use it so that no-one can join up the dots too much between my threads and out me.

In the early days of discovering mumsnet I used to regularly tell people IRL how it was a really discovery for me. Now I don't. I really do not want anyone IRL to link my posts back to me.

The peculiar thing on here, though, is how you write a few paragraphs to describe a situation or set out a point of view - and then someone deduces that you are all kind of a terrible, vile person. How two dimensional can you get? I hope when I reply to any posters that I remain courteous and I try to remember I don't really know them just because they have stuck a post on here.

The other thing is when people berate someone for "being a horrible friend" if they post something negative, eg recent poster was concerned that a good friend and her family were heading towards obesity. But where else can you go to articulate these thoughts and get any answers? The whole point of mumsnet is to seek advice in a an anonymous forum so you don't confront and hurt someone in IRL? And isn't that better than to run the risk of permanently ruining a relationship?

I think if you are going to share loads and loads of personal stuff and possibly outing situations NC is the way to go.

I give a passing glance to usernames and only remember a few. A lot of the ones I know are on this thread actually.

It really depends on what we’ve debated about. Whether people should have done the NHS clap on a Thursday - I’ll have gotten over it by the time I’ve clicked off the thread. Whether all disabled and elderly people should be euthanised at once - won’t change my opinion of them even if we do agree that cheese and cucumber sandwiches are the best.

The whole point of mumsnet is to seek advice in a an anonymous forum so you don't confront and hurt someone in IRL? And isn't that better than to run the risk of permanently ruining a relationship?
I agree with you, and the flip side is when someone asks for people's opinions, because they want to know what people would think. Then when people share their thoughts, some posters accuse people of being awful people and saying "how awful if you'd say that to your friend". In reality, most people know what to say to a friend and when to keep your opinions to yourself in the name of kindness or to avoid conflict. The OP was asking what people would think, not what they would say to their friend.

People use MN in different ways. I don’t ask for personal advice on here.
Maybe consumer stuff what to buy/is this any good etc but that said I rarely start a thread these days there doesn’t seem much point.

@TimeIhadaNameChange

I was slightly taken aback when I noticed some I usually have a lot of respect for being quite nasty on a particular thread. It was strange seeing another side of them.

I agree with this. There was a ‘mumsnet royalty’ poster (I hate that title, doesn’t that just mean they’re on mumsnet loads?!) who replied to me and was quite nasty.

I’ve also noticed that some of the prolific users never start threads but comment on
Others. I don’t understand that! Put yourselves up for scrutiny now and again!