What's the naughtiest thing your pet has ever done?

[LittleToasterx]

My cat once knocked an entire vase of fresh flowers off the kitchen table. I wasn't in the room at the time but I believe it was during a fight with another neighborhood cat. Didn't see him for the rest of the day after that. I think he knew I wouldn't be happy with him.

I forgot about the random things that happen to the computers as they wander across the keyboard. One cat very good at putting in appointments into DH calendar.

• Pissing on top of the stove (gas burners)
• Crapping in the bath
• Pissing on any bathmat left unattended on the floor
• Vomiting copiously on top of my desk, including students' test papers

Good thing I love him!

Shit on the carpet.

Other cat - sprayed on me while I was lying in bed (thankfully only my leg)

First cat was in the habit of pissing on the duvet in the night, but seems to have got over they one (fingers crossed)

I was walking my dog through the park early one morning. She was snuffling around under a hedge and trotted out, very pleased with herself, carrying a pack of sandwiches some kind person had left for a homeless man sleeping under there. I managed to retrieve it and put it back before any damage was done. She was not happy about having her extra breakfast snatched away.

Not mine but my dms' staffies
licked a hole in the kitchen wall

licked the grout from between the tiles in the kitchen floor

chewed through the telephone wire

got into the fridge and chewed round where the motor was(don't how he didn't kill himself)

and nearly blew the house up by chewing on and puncturing the pipe to the wood burner effect gas fire in the kitchen!

Ran off with my engagement ring- he's a magpie disguised as a cat

Spite swallowed some tin foil he found on the floor

Shredded an important work document whilst looking OH In the eyes

Pissed on OH's leg when he was asleep

Broke in to a pack of gingerbread men and carefully took a bite out of each one.
Then licked the icing off of a gingerbread house.

Not a pet, but we had a robin that used to come to the garden and we'd feed him mealworms - he was really tame - would sit on you, come in the house etc. One day, me and DP were enjoying the sunshine, DP had just poured himself a fresh glass of cold beer, and along comes the robin, lands on the edge of the glass and promptly shits right into the beer. I was in stitches!

A now deceased Purplecat of mine used to pee on my now ex husbands clothes. I divorced him when he cheated - She clearly knew something I didn’t!
My lovely PurplecatDog was a stray and occasionally reverts to old habits and tries to eat poo. It upsets me to think he used to have to do that. (And I am very glad to say he is spoiled rotten now!)

Nice sunny day, neighbour came home early from work and left kitchen door open. He prepared a delicious stir fry and took some of it into the dining room to eat. You can see where this is going, can't you?

My dear little tabby cat silently went into his house, jumped up onto the worktop and helped herself to all of it - all of it, vegetables and all. When neighbour returned to the kitchen puss was sitting next to the empty wok licking her lips. Thankfully he laughed.

My cat once dragged a neighbours huge koi carp over the road and through our cat flap!!!

so many good stories!

80s one: household was prepping for an informal wedding party. Lots of layered gateaux defrosting. Cats got into the room and licked every cake!

@Chasingsquirrels

My dog knocked a vase of flowers off the coffee table when he was about 9m, I'd nipped to pick up dc from school and hadn't shut him in the kitchen. I came into the house and was greeted by above picture. Who could be cross at that?

That is an adorable picture!

My knowledge of ornithology is largely from the birds caught or attempted to be caught by the cat my family had when I was growing up. Subsequent cats could accept a collar.

oooo where to start. First dog (and still best loved despite behaviour) - all bad behaviour was driven by greed. He stole a whole fruitcake from a picnic . It was our picnic, but the cake was baked by a friend who was also in attendance. She is also a dog lover and remembers the crime with fondness 14 years on. He stole a whole pack of cheese from a kitchen counter (ours) and gobbled the lot, plastic and all. He stole a pasty from a builder's car - jumped in through the window and made off with it. The guy was working on our house so I made him cheese sandwiches instead. But still.... Many other food misdemeanours over the years but god we loved that boy. Inveterate pheasant chaser too. He was a springador so it was his flushing springer behaviour coming out. Never caught one but once sat under a tree for a full hour in hope of doing so
Latest dog (also a greedy retriever) isn't as bad but did eat my Italian evening class homework.