What's the naughtiest thing your pet has ever done?

[LittleToasterx]

My cat once knocked an entire vase of fresh flowers off the kitchen table. I wasn't in the room at the time but I believe it was during a fight with another neighborhood cat. Didn't see him for the rest of the day after that. I think he knew I wouldn't be happy with him.

Knocked over a full deep fat fryer on to the kitchen floor. I can't fully describe the horror of trying to clean up a couple of litres of used chip pan oil off a laminate floor 😒

My cat, now passed, came home with two frogs (live) when I was flat out on the sofa, high on pain meds, with a broken ankle. Post surgery. When I screeched, My worthy DH ran downstairs wearing only pants and black leather slippers.

When we first got him (hungry lab rescue so you can imagine that he ate everything going) we went to my parents for Christmas. We warned and warned them about keeping kitchen door shut as he just couldn't be trusted round food. Was just sitting down to my first glass of fizz when my dad made a noise I can only describe as like a strangled cat - DDog had eaten a whole tray of raw sausages, stuffing and pigs in blankets. When I asked how this had happened, dear reader, DDad exclaimed 'well I might have left the door open but the sausages were wrapped in tinfoil.' Like tinfoil was lab kryptonite. It was actually very funny.

@GertrudeKerfuffle

My now-deceased dog peed on a toddler (to be fair the toddler wandered into his line of fire) and later stuck his long snout up a lady's miniskirt and licked her arse cheek (apparently she was wearing a thong) at the same barbecue.

One sunny Saturday morning near a busy children's playground he found a dead squirrel, picked it up and joyfully raced round chucking it into the air and catching it for ten minutes, refusing to listen to any (loud and frantic) commands to stop.

A small child in a pram was trying to befriend him when a small rodent wandered past and he chased and chomped it as the child watched.

He was the second worst dog in his obedience classes and would do stuff like forget what he was doing in the middle of a recall, sit down, scratch his ear, lick his willy clean and then wander off to the other side of the room. Thank god for the daft noisy poodle who was even worse

This guy sounds amazing Gertrude. What type of dog was he? Sounds like a legend!!

Right, sorry everyone. Especially if you're eating your tea...

Here goes....My DDog ransacked the bathroom bin and ate a used tampon that I'd wrapped up. 🤮

Even worse, it eventually passed through and we had to gently pull on the string the other end to get it out. Disgusting creature, although she looked like butter wouldn't melt...

She also used to love eating sheep poo on country walks.

Walked across a crowded beach with him and looked down to see him carrying a flipflop.
I retraced our steps but couldn't find the owner. I had visions of some poor bewildered woman wailing "I put them both there"
I left it on the ramp leading to the carpark - hopefully the owner found it.

Caught, killed, plucked and ate a pigeon outside a primary school at home time. My friend was walking her at the time and he's still not over it five years later!

Not naughty, just her nature but it fits...my beautiful tiny killer caught, killed and ate the head of someone's prize racing pigeon.

I had to phone the number on the tag and say "I'm really sorry, I've found your dead pigeon"

I just omitted how it died!

Ate the birthday cake just before my 10 year old's birthday party!

Oh dear lord how long have you got? Adored, missed departed Bengal;

Slashed dhs stomach and ripped several t shirts trying to get out of coming in at curfew.

Scratched fil (but he was right to do so and did not get told off)

Sprayed mil new coat

Broke several vases.

Used a duresta sofa as a scratch post. Twice.

Sprayed on dhs side of the bed (mummies boy)

Scratched me so deeply I now have a keloid scar.

Begged on the table in front of dh at every meal.

Broke a lamp but I trained him to because I hated the lamp & I knew dh wouldn’t be cross with the cat.

Chomped on dhs arm at bedtime if he was taking him to bed. “Ow! He’s biting me!’ “Well he didn’t mean it and he’s only small”.

Disembowelled a baby rabbit on our lawn.

When we hadn't long lived here dh sent me a pic of his proudly fitted flooring.
He didn't understand why I laughed..
3 days later ddog showed dh exactly what she thought of the flooring...
Not even ripped from the edge no she dug a hole in the middle!

Our double garage is down a ramp from the main house and I always park in the garage. Had a load of shopping and as I was trundling it up to the kitchen spaniel had dived into the car boot, deftly pierced the film and snaffled 4 chicken breasts. This is the car that he refuses to jump into ( hatchback with the lid taken off the boot part) for any journey. He then did the ‘ I want my dinner’ dance only an hour later.

Boxer and spaniel ( think Spaniel led this one) got into the pantry, ate 4 kg of flour, 24 weetabix, flour everywhere they had licked it into the grooves of the wooden floor, trying to remove flour mixed with dog spit from ears, noses, coats and the floor was a 3 day event. Dogs were fine, poos were a bit floury.... I did take pictures, they now make me smile, did not at the time when I spent days the wrong end of a toothbrush cleaning sodden flooring.

Everybody knows calories don’t count if you eat them in the car after shopping.

My cat repeatedly pissed on the sofa, there was nothing wrong with him, he was a just a dick

When Haribo was a kitten he knocked a cactus off the landing windowsill. It bounced down each step leaving a trail of compost. He wasn't bothered in the slightest.

To be fair he's quite a placid cat and hasn't broken or knocked anything off - yet.

It's kind of ongoing.

She picks pockets. Like the artful dodger. She steals stuff from your pocket.

Bad Dog 1 - came home with a still warm roast chicken in her jaws. We didn't dare ask round the neighbours

Bad Dog 2 - bit huge chunks out of my sofa, thankfully a very old one

Bad Dog 1 again - ran off during a thunderstorm, got soaking wet, took refuge in neighbours' house and was found on their bed shaking herself off. Had to fork out to get all their bed linen cleaned after that one.

My beagle ate a poo bag full of his own poo when he was about 8 months old. That was a fun trip to the vet!

Salmon mousse starter, home made, was put on the table, I called guests to come.
While they dithered, went for a wee, etc. Ddog managed to get up far enough to take a couple of slurps out of the side.

Dog -loathing MNers and hygiene freaks please read no further!

Guests were all dog lovers who found it hilarious - I just sliced that part off and we ate it anyway.

My dear departed Siamese had two habits: licking his willy and dragging tampons - still in the paper wrapping - around the house. He liked to dismantle them by removing the tampons from the applicators and then walk around the neighbourhood with his prize in his mouth.

A full black sack of shredded paper ripped open and spread all over the living room

I am still really surprised how long it took to tidy up🤷‍♀️

She never does stuff like that normally. So came as a surprise when I got home. Suppose everyone is entitled to at least one crazy moment 😁

@Whatwouldnanado

Cat jumped on the end ofvyhevtable when12 of us were about to tuck in to pancakes. He stole a pancake off DH's plate and ran the length of the table knocking over the cream, syrup jug, juice, everything all over the place. We talk about it every year. Another little sod brought someone else's roast chicken into the kitchen while we were out and scattered bit everywhere. Another helped himself to a lamb joint left out to cool. He ate the string then next day walked across the sitti h room in front of visitors with the end hanging out of his bum.

The last bit about the string is hilarious.

My only cat and I had been together in our cosy flat for nearly two years then I moved into my husband to be’s house. She was not a happy cat and demonstrated her annoyance by pooing in his slippers. He cottoned on the second time and didn’t leave them out.
About a week later, he had packed for a business trip and left the case open on the bedroom chair to put wash bag etc in the next morning. He didn’t discover until he got to his hotel that she had peed in it. Had to buy underwear, 3 new shirts and wear the same suit all week. 😹

My cat excelled himself an hour ago, I'm still mortified. Zoom bloody parents' evening for DS2, which is my idea of hell anyway. Mid-way through the appointment with his very staid and serious middle-aged male maths teacher, the sodding cat leaps up onto my lap, inserts a claw into the neckline of my top and drags it right down, fully exposing my not-small left nork in its red spotty bra. Thanks a bunch, twatcat

had 2 hot cross buns on the kitchen worktop. Went to toilet, returned to find empty plate save for a few crumbs. In vicinity - usually highly-strung collie with crumbs around mouth.

Same dog was caught in the act another time with front paws up on kitchen counter and head turned to side frantically trying to reach the plate his stupid head had knocked out of reach.

My cat knocked over a fish tank with fish in.

Same cat got jealous one night when I brought home by long standing boyfriend, think I was about 19. She weed in my favourite coat that was on my bed as punishment- she's not done anything like that before or since. My bf and I had only been chilling watching tv in the living room all night and i discovered the crime when he had left and I went up to bed.

A different cat of ours are the Christmas pheasant