My teens have evolved - what am I meant to do now

[JustLiketheraptors]

So, after feeling like I was working in a hotel and becoming severely depressed I made a series of changes right after Xmas.
-pocket money had to be earnt not given
-wifi password earnt and not just there to be taken for granted
-a timetable of jobs so that everyone started to help rather than me and DP doing it all as well as work

It didn’t work. They just accepted it. Evolved

Wifi not on they started ..... reading
No pocket money they don’t seem bothered during lockdown

The house is still being treated like a hotel.
I ask and ask and nothing.
So I tried to do more. In feb i implemented the following
-I have stopped doing their laundry. Have each a lesson on how the washing machine works and felt smug that they might struggle. One seems to be coping fine the others seem to be taking stuff out of the dirty washing a lot which is a huge pile and they have huge piles of clothes in rooms too.

The house was STILL a mess and I am sick of asking . DP sat them all down to tell them they are expected to help. Excuses about schoolwork etc and being too busy. Still no help.

I have now had to resort to in a last ditch attempt only providing meals. I will add these are good portions and healthy and a dessert after dinner but I’ve stopped buying all the snacks and treats and I’ve booked a weekly cleaner sort the money saved

I honestly thought with the wifi and pocket money loss they’d realise they had to help I’m shocked they just evolved to cope.

They are 12,14,16

Are all teenagers like this. I’m just exhausted by it

You have teens who read?

They haven't bust the washing machine & don't wash 1 item at a time and don't tie up the machine with constant washing (of tiny loads) which leads to inconvenience to the adults & fierce squabbling between others wanting to use the washing machine?

Will they eat healthy balanced meals if you don't cook for them?

The only thing in OP's story I couldn't accept was wet towels left randomly on floor I'd go nuclear about that. Why the F can't they hang up towels to dry?

There's something you're not saying OP, about the depression & exhaustion. It's very possible to have rather feckless teens & no depression about their contribution. How much cooking & laundry is your DP doing? How long hours is your paid work? Do you have health conditions sapping your resilience? How house-proud are you?

I think you're expecting too much too.

But what about a rota that lists all jobs? that's what I do with my teens and it really works. They cook, clean, dog walk. Because it's on the rota. The rota has to be scrupulously fair, but if it's there...

And washing - they have a day each to bring their clothes down. They know their day. I will move the washing along for them and fold it.

I steer clear of their rooms.

It's not perfect. There is bickering if someone is appearing not to be doing their jobs. And the poor dogs sometimes have the shortest walk known to man, but it works.

Honestly I think you'd be waiting for years for your teens to suddenly develop empathy and start doing the jobs.