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Original poster

Are you an introvert?

60 replies

MirandaWestsNewBFF · 26/03/2021 07:49

I’ve been pondering introversion and extroversion, because I’m a bit geeky like that.

I’d see myself as an introvert, and I wondered if forums like Mumsnet tend to attract more introverts than extroverts.

Told you it was geeky!

So, what do you think? Are you an introvert? Do you think there are more introverts than extroverts round here? Or do you think I’ve got it wrong?

OP posts:

Everyday21 · 26/03/2021 07:56

Definitely an introvert. People exhaust me. My friends and family are so excited about the relaxation of rules and how busy every weekend will be catching up with weddings/christenings/etc and I already want to hide. If I could just do one weekend a month I'd be happy.

I think there is a good mixture om mumsnet. It's very helpful to see things from many different perspectives

funtimefrank · 26/03/2021 08:01

I am an outgoing introvert. My husband is the same.

However, he gets a lot of quiet recharge time and I don't which is tricky. He socialises a lot online where he can control his interactions whereas I am wfh with back to back calls and a need to be 'on' all the time which I find exhausting.

I am good with people and social but I don't get energy from it. I like small close groups and time alone.

For both of us, lockdown hasn't been a challenge from the social side of things. Whilst we miss going to places, we don't miss seeing people (my mum is in our bubble and she's the only one we 'needed' to see).

Most of my family are like me but dbro was and extrovert and dd1 looks to be following in his footsteps

CompleteBarstool · 26/03/2021 08:01

I think I'm an introvert too.

Lockdown has suited me as I've not had to be too sociable, no nights out that I really don't want to go on. At work there's been less interaction with other departments due to lockdown/furloughing so that's suited me too.

I think MN , like anywhere, has a mixture but as for ratios , who knows? I guess a lot of introverts might just lurk and not post.

cryh · 26/03/2021 08:02

I'm a socially competent introvert - I was well trained and can perform but don't like having to.

Now I am older I avoid avoid avoid. There are loads of introverts around.

I love the company of nice extroverts, hate the company of people who can't accept everyone is different.

Mxflamingnoravera · 26/03/2021 08:05

I am also an introvert. I suspect there is a pretty even balance of introverts and extroverts on MN. It would interesting to compare the tone and content of the way the different types post here, that's where I would expect to see differences.

mum23kidz · 26/03/2021 08:08

Yes, I'm an introvert. I do enjoy meeting a small group of select people, but need a lot of time alone to recharge. I also don't like small talk at all.

Doona · 26/03/2021 08:14

I don't believe in the introversion extroversion dichotomy. In some cultures people spend a lot of time together but without the social need to chat all the time. In those cultures, the energy of being together is completely different. Who talks the most also has to do with status. I can get energy from some social interactions and be enervated by others. I believe everyone has that variability in response, but may not realize it because of cultural restrictions on the types of interactions they're exposed to.

Meruem · 26/03/2021 08:14

I would say I’m an introvert because I am happy to spend lots of time at home alone, pottering around, doing my hobbies etc. If I’m with people I have a real connection with then I am chatty and outgoing, but I don’t often meet people who inspire that in me. Of course you could argue that if I mixed more I might meet those people! But I have found most people I meet just really want to talk about themselves. I seem to attract people with “problems” who then want to offload on me all the time and I’m not interested in being someone’s emotional support. Not without a solid friendship in place first. I’ve met people through work but then every night out they just want to talk about work! Or people for whom I just seem to be the “audience” and they’re not really interested in a 2 way conversation.

I’ve found with some extroverts I know, they have more a fear of being alone, or being “stuck” at home so will do anything and everything to avoid that. Whereas I will only spend time with someone or go and do something if I know I will genuinely enjoy it.

RampantIvy · 26/03/2021 08:15

and I wondered if forums like Mumsnet tend to attract more introverts than extroverts.

I do get the feeling that there are a disproportionate number of introverts who post on mumsnet. At the beginning of the lfirst lockdown there were loads of threads from posters who relished the idea of working from home. They didn't like their work colleagues and enjoyed the silence at home.

While I don't like a noisy office, I did miss and do miss my workmates. I would class myself as a quiet extrovert.

Doona · 26/03/2021 08:17

I wish I was a quiet extrovert

Notagain20 · 26/03/2021 08:17

I'm an introvert but often people don't realise because I can do outgoing, sociable etc,but it exhausts me. I'm not at all shy and I used to think introversion meant shyness. It was a revelation when I realised it was about what energises you.

I was astonished to discover that there are people who feel energised by socialising!!!! Lol, I thought everyone found it as tiring as me 😅

BeautifulandWilfulandDead · 26/03/2021 08:19

Also an outgoing introvert. I love social time, in limited amounts, with particular people on my own terms. Like to communicate via text and chat. WFH before Covid, because I find office work exhausting.

troppibambini6 · 26/03/2021 08:32

I'm also an outgoing introvert too.
I appear chatty and confident and I do enjoy socialising but I desperately need my own time.
Dh doesn't get it at all. I feel like I need to shut down and literally have no words left for anyone.

thelegohooverer · 26/03/2021 08:55

@Doona that’s fascinating. I’ve never thought about that before. Do you have particular cultures in mind? so I know where to emigrate

merryhouse · 26/03/2021 09:24

I actually don't know.

Various things led me to be painfully shy and awkward as a teenager. I was decidedly not happy about the fact that I didn't go to parties. The move to university, with lots of people looking for new friends and a really busy and sociable lifestyle, was brilliant.

When I went from that to living basically unemployed in a totally new place with a husband who was away half the time I found it very difficult.

On the other hand, I'm entirely happy in my own company. I've not had any problem with lockdown (lucky in circumstances, and three or four of us in the house).

Doona · 26/03/2021 09:32

thelegohooverer I was thinking about indigenous cultures in the Americas, but I've heard people say similar comments about Asian, African, and Arab societies. Actually, I think Europeans are the unusual ones. In Nepal, for example, women aren't expected to smile and just that, in itself, eases the social burden. It's such a relief not to have to. Let alone all the active listening.

TheFlis12345 · 26/03/2021 09:36

I am a complete introvert by nature but most people wouldn’t realise as I appear very sociable and outgoing and have to be that way for work. At the end of a day of meetings and being bubbly I often literally feel too mentally exhausted to even chat to my husband. Luckily he understands and gives me quiet time to recharge.

DDIJ · 26/03/2021 09:37

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

OccultGnuAsWell · 26/03/2021 09:38

Another introvert here who's also socially well trained like cryh (thank you for that description, it really nails how I feel).

Does anyone find they have to "gee themselves up" for social occasions? I need to get in the right mindset for mingling with large groups but once I do I'm able to chat to people and even find I enjoy it. At the time.

If I try and mingle when I haven't prepared I'm practically monosyllabic.

FTEngineerM · 26/03/2021 09:40

Yep, fucking hate people generally and the shite that comes along with them.

Enjoyed some aspects of lockdown for that very reason.

CrazyNeighbour · 26/03/2021 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/03/2021 09:43

I’m another socially confident introvert. Appear very lively and outgoing.

Any extended contact with people apart from my own family drains me. I have friends that l love, but don’t see often. I need to hide a lot.

HowAboutAH0tCupOfShutTheHellUp · 26/03/2021 10:02

Introvert.

Not remotely shy, I'm chatty and outgoing.

The 'thing' that makes me an introvert is I feel exhausted after a certain amount of time of being chatty and outgoing! I absolutely love time on my own or with my DH. I have some lovely close friends but could probably be happy if it was just DH, my dogs and me on our own on earth

tsmainsqueeze · 26/03/2021 10:44

@cryh

I'm a socially competent introvert - I was well trained and can perform but don't like having to.

Now I am older I avoid avoid avoid. There are loads of introverts around.

I love the company of nice extroverts, hate the company of people who can't accept everyone is different.

This is me too. You wouldn't see me as an introvert but the older i get the more i feel like one.

badlydrawnbear · 26/03/2021 11:00

I am an introvert doing an extrovert job. I am quiet, shy, don’t like talking to people, hate talking on the phone, but I do a job that means I spend 13hrs a day with many other people who I have to talk to all the time, sometimes I have to hold multiple conversations at once, there is no quiet time, some of them are my colleagues who I know but there are also a lot of people who I don’t really know that I have to talk to each shift.
I need time on my own in peace to recover from this. That is why lockdown has been hard, because DH is WFH so always here and for long periods of time I had to teach my children on my days off work. Not being able to see anyone other than at work hasn’t been a problem though.

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