Are you an introvert?

[MirandaWestsNewBFF]

I’ve been pondering introversion and extroversion, because I’m a bit geeky like that.

I’d see myself as an introvert, and I wondered if forums like Mumsnet tend to attract more introverts than extroverts.

Told you it was geeky!

So, what do you think? Are you an introvert? Do you think there are more introverts than extroverts round here? Or do you think I’ve got it wrong?

I'm too shy to say.

@Iwantcollarbones

I’m an introvert. I love feeling invisible in public. As much as I enjoyed my wedding I won’t ever get married again as being centre of attention was hell even though I’d opted for the fewest guests I could get away with and the shortest ceremony the registrar would allow.

I was cornered at university yesterday after the first skills session by another student who insisted that she knew I knew the answers to the questions the lecturers had asked. Of course I knew, I’ve done the work, but I’m never going to be the one to dominate a group session.

I can be extrovert as a professional though (and drunk me is positively a social butterfly). I have a public mask but I’m glad to get home, shut the door on people-ing, ignore dh and recharge.

This is me!

I too love feeling invisible in public but greatly struggle with a group of my friends. I much prefer to see friends individually. I can’t deal with several people speaking at the same time in a conversation. I’ve masked all my life and only found out I had Aspergers not long ago ( in my 50 s).
I have had stressful professional public facing jobs all my life and it has taken its toll on me. I am now semi retired and relish my alone time to de stress.

Extrovert here. I think Mumsnet attracts more introverts even though there are more extroverts in the world. We get a bad rep on here sometimes, I think people have had bad experiences with some extroverts and think we're all ignorant to the feelings of others!

What makes me an extrovert is that I love being around people. I need to be around people to be productive, I could never work from home for example. It's not that I can NEVER be by myself, I'm single and co parent with my ex so I spend a lot of time by myself. But I find my energy from being around others and being social. When I'm alone I do nothing but watch TV because I can't get motivated. Big parties, lots of people to talk to, that's what I love.

I have friends who are introverts, one of them often turns down invitations to social gatherings. She didn't come to my 30th birthday last year. I understand and don't take it personally. She's still a great friend, she just doesn't enjoy big parties. We are all different.

Do you think it could also be a British thing?

I'm a socially confident introvert. Love being on my own or with the family pottering around. Have a small number of very close long time friends who I love to catch up with.

I do enjoy meeting a small group of select people, but need a lot of time alone to recharge. I also don't like small talk at all. Luckily my husband is the same. Neither of us say unnecessary things.

I’m definitely an introvert. I find social contact ok in small doses but very stressful if it’s all day every day, and the older I get the worse I get.

I’m thriving on WFH. It really is a complete game-changer for me. When I worked in an office I was always so completely ‘peopled out’ by 5-30 on a Friday that the last think I wanted to do was socialise or do people-centred hobbies. All I wanted to do at the weekend was have as much me-time as possible. Hopefully after the pandemic I will want to get out & do much more stuff at weekends knowing that I don’t have to have contact with people all week.

@doona - very interesting. I do (did) a crafts evening class where everyone everyone sits together working on their own thing for a few hours, radio on. Some people chat more than others, but it’s generally quiet and perfectly fine if you don’t speak at all other than to say hi and bye. It’s an absolutely wonderful way to spend time, but it’s fairly unique in my life.

I’d say I’m an introvert generally, but since I also have a tendency towards being socially anxious it’s hard to tell where these things shade into one another. Even there, though, context is everything. I don’t mind giving presentations, but will do almost anything to avoid networking events. I’m ok if I find someone early on that is easy to talk to, but not wanting to latch on limpet-like to someone who actually wants to network means this is not an option. I attended a networking workshop I thought would help me - and the tips were all about how to move on graciously from someone you’ve had enough of. Awkward realisation came that I am that person!

I am definitely an introvert and was WFH even before covid. I don't mind talking to people for actual work purposes but I hate all the ancillary stuff - Teams meetings for my group where you all have to have your camera on the in the name of bonding and play virtual games - urgh no thank you. I'm happy just to do my job well and call it good.

I struggle to understand people who say they miss the office and want to be back there, WFH with minimal human interaction is my idea of the perfect work environment.

I have a decent group of friends and I make myself participate in group things sometimes because I recognise that is necessary to keep friendships going, but I have to work hard at small talk after the first ten minutes. Conversely I do enjoy sitting down one to one with those friends who also like to do this and having an in depth discussion about one or two things - I can see the point of that!

@amusedbush

I’m a huge introvert. It’s a source of huge disappointment to my mother, who is as extroverted as a person can be and would throw a huge party just because the sun’s out. In fact, I left her 50th birthday party and was at home in my pyjamas before she even noticed I’d gone

I hate attention and need time to recharge after any sort of socialising. Thankfully DH is the same and we even eloped to avoid being the centre of attention. My brother is getting married in November and I’m already dreading it

I’d rather go to the dentist than attend a wedding or party.

I do (did) a crafts evening class where everyone everyone sits together working on their own thing for a few hours, radio on. Some people chat more than others, but it’s generally quiet and perfectly fine if you don’t speak at all other than to say hi and bye. It’s an absolutely wonderful way to spend time, but it’s fairly unique in my life.

I have no social interactions where it's okay to say nothing. Unless being eyed by a shopkeeper or librarian as I prowl the aisles counts. It's a dramatically different activity, what you describe, and it shows how narrow our cultural conception of socialising is. It reminds me of that advice they give about teen boys, to do something alongside them, shoulder to shoulder rather than face to face. Maybe it used to be like that when life was more labour intensive.

I attended a networking workshop I thought would help me - and the tips were all about how to move on graciously from someone you’ve had enough of. Awkward realisation came that I am that person!

I think we all are! Whenever I'm with someone particularly charming or interesting I always move on quickly because I assume I'm the boring glom person, but sometimes when I do, they give me a knowing look, and I think, no, what? They think I think that they are the boring glom person?! Very complicated.