What would she think of you now? And what you’ve become

[Elbowismyjam]

Your 15/16 year old former self?

She’d be pleased with some aspects but very disappointed that I haven’t fully prioritised my career since having DC.

She'd be fucking horrified that it took me till my fifties to break free from my controlling mother

She never dreamt of being a homeowner, or having a family to be honest. I think she'd be surprised at my job and think I was a bit of a sell out, but I was naieve then and thought the work I was passionate about would pay the bills.

Mixture of disappointment that I didn't follow my passions and do something real with them, and surprise at the path I have taken. I'm not sure even 40yo me can really explain it. Also miffed that I don't have a house that's mine and equal to the kind of house I grew up in. Not that that was important to 15 yo me at the time - just an assumption of lifelong privilege I guess.

She'd say 'Kill me now' while rolling her eyes

My needs were simple back then and so she would be pleased.
She would have wept with joy not to have to deal with one or two situations anymore.
She would shriek in delight at some of the fun and still teenager like things I’ve done.
She would have been pleased as long as I was not too much worse off than my peers in school and I’m not.

She would be very, very happy. She knew exactly what sort of life she wanted for herself from a young age - and she's got exactly what she wished for.

She'd be horrified at my breast cancer diagnosis at 49, but very relieved and (hopefully) proud at how I protected and supported my children through it (unlike her own Mum who burdened her with far too much, far too young).

She'd be shocked that she became an overweight recluse with cPTSD, depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. Such a change from the average sized outgoing performer. Sad that the wedding she always dreamed of never happened.
And sightly less sad that she never got tall enough to shop in Long Tall Sally

She'd say 'What can I do to save myself?' and I'd tell her how to get away from home and which of her silly ideas she should drop, and which she should act upon.

I think she’d be proud of me!

At 15/16 I was looking after my small brother whilst my dad went to work. Had no prospects/didn’t go to school.

Now I own my own business/have two children
and a husband who stuck by me through all of it (he was my boyfriend at 15!)

I think she’d think I was a good person, and she’d give me a pat on the back!

She'd be thrilled that she did exactly what she set out to do: have a career as a writer and spawn some awesome kids. She wouldn't be surprised nor disappointed that she ended up a single parent because she was always too single minded for romantic relationships anyway.

She would be gutted.

I let myself get fat, despite being certain I never, ever would.
After years of looking much younger than my age, I’ve caught up and look just as old as my peers.
I don’t have a cool job.
I’m single.

I think maybe proud overall, she'd like the job I do, where I live, my dog.
But shed feel a bit sorry for me re other aspects for example that I didn't move to Paris 🗼😉

Surprised that I am married
Not surprised that I am a mum
Pleased with my job but disappointed that I don’t have more money
Gutted that I got fat

She'd want me to have travelled even more. And married someone richer...she'd be shocked at the town I live in now. But she'd also see I'm very happy.

Probably quite pleased I've got married and had kids, I was a fairly pragmatic teenager.

bravotango this is me, but I have three cats 🐈‍⬛

I want a dog 🐶

I think she would be really chuffed at my career but a bit disappointed that I got fat

But, she would have to take some/most of the blame for that, because it was the year of prolific snogging aged 15-16 which caught the glandular fever which lead to the autoimmune thyroid disease which caused the fatness in my 30s. So I hope she would feel a bit sheepish for that

Interesting thread!

Deeply disappointed that I did not go into the career I always dreamed about.
Surprised I settled down and am rather a hands on devoted mother.
Pleased I maintained my size 10 figure for almost three decades.
Sad I lost a few friendships along the way

Mine would find me extremely dull, and refuse to believe I got married and had kids because That Was Not The Plan.

But she would like my husband because he's amazing.

And she can get back to me in 25 years when she's pursued her goals relentlessly without compromise, and we can compare notes.

15/16 was a shit time, I think 15/16 sixten year old would be impressed that I’m alive, he would more even more impressed that I haven’t been to prison.

He would think I’m incredibly boring, he would think I was bonkers for being a parent, but he would be impressed that I’m financially independent and generally doing okay.

Amazed I was a functional human being & had done so many conventional achievements. Amazed I had financial security & colleagues who respected me. Also that I had been very brave about doing some things.

-The advantages of young life with rock bottom expectations

I think she’d be pleased at the choices I made and the life I’ve built with my family. But she’d be so disappointed to realise that despite my age I’m such a people pleasing, non-confrontational worrier with imposter syndrome and such a deep fear of failure. She had a lot more balls than I do now.
That’s depressing.

She would be horrified at how fat I am, be pleased about my activism and feminism, and would feel OK about my profession and lifestyle, although it isn’t what was planned.
Above all, she would be amazed that I finally married her boyfriend!